I swear this Bronco is going to push me over the edge of insanity.

When we last visited this continuing clusterfuck of biblical proportions, I had ordered a new CPU, installed it, drove it and had it shit the bed right in the driveway.

I then had to go retrieve the original, take the new one back out and give it back to those dumbasses at NAPA and reorder another one, while sticking the original one back in and disconnecting the idle speed solenoid to keep the engine from idling at 2500 rpm.

I was told at NAPA that it would take one week to get here and they would call me to let me know when it got there. That was a week ago last Friday.

This past Friday I was out of town but had plenty of phone service.

I didn’t hear a fucking word out of them and mentally noted that fact. Same thing Saturday, same thing yesterday.

I woke up this morning and called those motherfuckers before I even had a cup of coffee.

Of course, the guy I am talking to knows nothing about all this.

He puts me on hold to go look for it.

Several minutes later he comes back and says he can’t find it.

As you can probably imagine, I am now completely ready to go down there and tear anyone within earshot a new asshole.

Instead, I took a deep breath and asked to speak to the manager.

I was going to make those motherfuckers pay for Next Day Air to get one here.

He tells me the manager is right there and puts me on hold for another minute or so.

During that minute, I am taking very deep breaths and planning what I can say to this guy that is just short of being illegal or getting me hung up on.

Instead, the first guy picks the phone up and tells me that he found it and it had JUST BEEN DELIVERED BY UPS.

Fine, I will be there shortly and you don’t have a clue how lucky you are pal.

I have now had this processor in and out of this Bronco so many fucking times that I literally had the cocksucker out and in my hand in 5 minutes.

I also found out that I was so pissed off last time that when I tightened up the Positive battery cable I actually broke the motherfucker without realizing it so I gotta get a new one of those too.

Off I go.

except this time, as I am seething my way through traffic, I decide FUCK these guys, I am gonna keep my old one for now in case this cocksucker don’t work again and just put the whole thing on my credit card.

$230 in all.

The moron at the counter is yet another clueless imbecile so I had to explain what I came for in short words so he could understand what I was saying.

I get the fucker without issuing any veiled threats and then go get a new screen protector for my phone that finally gave up the ghost over the weekend.

Come home, throw the fucker in, put the new battery cable on and start the bitch up.

Whattayafuckingknow, it works.

So did the last one, for a short while.

So I run it around the block a couple of times, pull in the driveway, shut it off and restart it several times.

So far so good.

I take it on a bit longer drive, pull in the driveway and BIGGER THAN SHIT, it has a hiccup and then the idle goes from 900 to 1200, then 2000, then 2800 rpms.

Jesus Fucking Christ!

I shut the cocksucker off and put my face in my hands.

I can’t fucking win.

Started the fucker back up and it idled fine. Took it on another short drive and floored it for a second.

Bingo.

The Check Engine light came on.

Brought the fucker back, hooked the tester up to it and got codes 23,34 and 41.

I’m not sure if it’s because the calibration isn’t right on the new one or if the old one was so fucked up it wouldn’t spit codes anymore.

Code 23 is the throttle position sensor. I don’t think it has been replaced yet and I have wondered many times if that bastard doesn’t have a glitchy spot in it.

That will be next and they are a fucker to change because they are on the bottom of the throttle assembly. Ya gotta take it off the manifold and turn it over to get at the screws and then it has to be adjusted properly before you reassemble everything.

That’s coming though.

34 is the damn EGR position sensor and I have replaced that cocksucker already.

Code 41 is the engine running lean.

I find that hard to believe because the damn thing has always run so rich it will make your eyes water sitting at a light with the window down.

So, here we go again, down the fucking path chasing this shit.

I already told the old lady that because the original CPU is 30 years old and I know it’s fucked up that I will leave the new one in. If it can’t keep the idle speed down I will disconnect that fucking idle speed solenoid again, drive the piss out of it and ignore the Check Engine Light for now.

So, as usual, Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.

Such is the story of my life.

On a related note to that, one of the reasons I Blog is to vent.

It helps me keep  from blowing my stack to put my thoughts down sometimes.

Blog is short for Web Log, kind of a personal electronic diary of sorts.

Sometimes that is why I write the things I do.

I could keep this all to myself and I’m sure some people wish that I would but sometimes it can be entertaining to read for some folks.

The only thing between keeping it to myself and sharing it with the world is pushing the Publish button, twice.

If you are so inclined, stay tuned because this little episode in my life is apparently far from over and I just don’t see it having a Fairy Tale ending by any stretch of the imagination.

Quite the trip.

Absolutely gorgeous scenery down there.

I remember now why I don’t like the High Desert too.

It’s as dry as a popcorn fart and fifty plus degree temperature swings overnight.

It was 75 degrees outside when we got there Friday afternoon, 24 that night.

Saturday is was in the mid 50’s during the day and it was 14 fucking degrees out when we stepped out on the porch Sunday morning.

Clear as a bell and sunny, the wind started kicking up as we were leaving in the afternoon.

We did some serious sight seeing Saturday and I took enough pictures to give a Japanese tourist an inferiority complex.

Something like 200 in all.

I kept waiting for my cell phone to start bellowing STAWWWWWWWP!

Here’s a small sample from Paulina Lookout, just a bit North East of La Pine Oregon. I never did get into La Pine, we were a bit North West of that actually.

There are two stunning lakes below the Look Out, which is on the South rim of an extinct volcano. The lakes are inside the caldera.

Looking North past the elevation sign, you can see part of Paulina Lake.

Looking North East from the edge of the peak at part of East Lake.

Looking DOWN.

Off to the East and just South of East Lake, this was pretty wild,

It’s a crappy picture of a lava flow that wound part of the way around the inside of the rim at one time, You can see the vent at the top left, kind of. That big mound.

This thing is fucking huge.

There is a turn off from that road you can see and you can get to a parking lot, then get out and walk up to the top of the lava flow. This isn’t just any lava either.

It is chock full of Black Volcanic Glass.

Giant fucking boulders of the stuff.

This should give you some perspective on how tall that lava flow is,

I spotted this one tiny little tree growing right out of the middle of the stuff.

This is ONE boulder.

Pretty amazing how huge this whole place is and mind blowing as you drive around all over the place and suddenly realize that you have been driving around INSIDE a volcano for the past twenty minutes at highway speeds.

So anyway, back up to the summit for a minute.

The big hump on the left is Mount Bachelor, a favorite winter skiing spot.

The 3 mountains behind it are the Three Sisters, originally called Faith, Hope and Charity, now simply known as North, Middle and South Sisters.

Wayyyy back in 1972, as a 12 year old Boy Scout, I went on a two week, fifty mile hike that started on the OTHER side of those mountains and finally wound up with us hiking in between the Middle and South Sister to finish up.

Two weeks of absolute misery and awesomeness all rolled into one giant blister kind of. I wore out a brand new pair of boots on that trip.

Something a guy never forgets.

So I want to leave you with this ,

if I was 12 in 1972, then this being October of 2018 means I am damn near 59 years old, beings I was hatched at the end of January of 1960.

Remember the elevation sign at the top?

7984 feet, in the parking lot at the top of the peak, there is still a rocky hill left to go to get to the very top.

It’s easily 20 feet so basically you are over 8,000 feet at the very top.

This is me, at the top, 8,000 feet up, 59 years old and smoking a non filtered cigarette.

Kinda makes ya want to slap one of them Snowflakes don’t it?

Of course by the end of the day after hiking around this and some other shit, I was all, fucking, done and in bed asleep at 9:30.

I am startin’ to get old , after all.

We are now pretty much out in Bumfuck, Can’tfinditstan

Out in the middle of fucking nowhere at my brothers vacation place.

4 1/2 hours to get here, outside some little Burgh, South of Bend, Oregon.

It’s in a subdivision out in the sticks, Google Maps and their fucked up directions tried to have us turn off the main road onto a fucking goat track that is actually a fire escape route for the subdivision trying to get here..

Better hope ya got 4WD is all I can say.

It took some dead reckoning but I finally directed the kid, who was driving his new car, to the correct turnoff and we came in the back side.

It’s nice and quiet, there is internet here obviously and I am going to visit with other family that just showed up, kick the fuck back and do nothing for a couple of days.

If I took the back seat out of the Bronco, figured out a way to make a quick release on that chair…….

I might be able to get one in the back of the fucker if I tilted it some. The damn thing isn’t very wide inside.

Stocks drop again; Dow falls 500-plus points

Ya know, for being the ALLEGED mastermind of an ALLEGED world wide crime syndicate, sometimes you are pretty fucking stupid.

This would be one of those times.

Dog whistling your lackeys and fellow idiot Democrats via the MSM telling them that they don’t need to be civil anymore just opened a can of Whoop Ass that you aren’t going to get the lid back on.

Hillary Clinton: You ‘cannot be civil’ with Republicans, Democrats need to be ‘tougher’

WASHINGTON – Hillary Clinton says the time for civility is over.

After the bitter and partisan fight over the confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, the former secretary of State and 2016 Democratic presidential candidate declared that President Donald Trump has undermined the integrity of the nation’s highest court and that it’s time for Democrats to be “tougher” with their opponents, in an interview with CNN published Tuesday

“You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about,” Clinton told CNN’s Christiane Amanpour. “That’s why I believe, if we are fortunate enough to win back the House and or the Senate, that’s when civility can start again.”

Clinton said that Senate Republicans under Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., “demeaned the confirmation process” and “insulted and attacked” Christine Blasey Ford – who testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee about a sexual assault she alleges Kavanaugh committed in 1982 – along with other “women who were speaking out.”

Clinton compared the handling of Kavanaugh’s confirmation to “Republican operatives shutting down the voting in 2000,” the “swift-boating of John Kerry,” attacks on former Arizona Sen. John McCain in the 2000 Republican primary and “what they did to me for 25 years.”

“When you’re dealing with an ideological party that is driven by the lust for power, that is funded by corporate interests who want a government that does its bidding, you can be civil but you can’t overcome what they intend to do unless you win elections,” she told Amanpour.

Clinton compared Kavanaugh’s swearing-in ceremony at the White House on Monday to a “political rally” that “further undermined the image and integrity of the court.”

You better grab a napkin, there are some words you just uttered for national consumption that you are going to wind up eating.

“”You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about,””

Talk about some projection there, damn woman.

You sure you ain’t got Slick Willies balls hiding under that Mumu?

Then there is this little jewel, I almost want to have this printed out and framed it so delicious,

“”When you’re dealing with an ideological party that is driven by the lust for power, that is funded by corporate interests who want a government that does its bidding, you can be civil but you can’t overcome what they intend to do unless you win elections,” “.

Expert level projection there honey.

By the way, you did hear about some 50,000 Sealed Indictments, did you not?

Not to worry, you’ll be busy with that later.

Right now you are too busy Dog Whistling, I understand.

You see, the thing is, you are pushing the wrong fucking buttons here darlin’.

The very last thing you want to see is a lack of civility.

You want to know why that is?

Because of people like me.

I sometimes have to really apply my self control as it is to stay even somewhat civil.

You know, that whole Deplorable thing.

Yeah, that’s me.

One of them there Dirt People you despise so much.

Your real problem is that there are several million other people out there who are just like me, without the restraint that I have, who have been foaming at the mouth for a chance to come after people like you and those dim witted morons you are whistling to.

You may have just given them all the permission they need.

You don’t want civility anymore in your politics?

NOT A FUCKING PROBLEM.

Those stupid little whelps who call themselves ANTIFA?

Get ready boys, the game is on now, for realsies this time.

Remember Hillary, you specifically asked for what’s coming and I strongly suspect you are going to get WAY the fuck more than you bargained for.

The Republicans have been pussy footing around you miserable sonsabitches for way too long in my opinion anyway.

Afraid to hurt your little feelers or some fucking thing, I still haven’t figured out why they haven’t come after you motherfuckers hammer and tong myself.

That looks like it may change, as a matter of fact I do believe I saw little Miss Lindsey Graham grow a proto back bone just the other day and go after your mean old Granny Feinstein.

I about fell over.

Speaking of which, I think she may have just shit the bed and rolled around in it with that Blasey Ford business.

Between that and her Chinese spy driver, she may soon be unavailable for comment, let alone incivility.

She’s pretty good at that without your help anyway.

So Hillary, be advised.

You can expect more incivility than you ever expected and it is going to be directed at you and your un-indicted co conspirators in a big way.

We are sick and tired of you losers stomping your feet and crying when you don’t get your way. If you think throwing a fit and being an asshole is going to get you anywhere I’m here to tell you that you just pissed off some SERIOUS assholes.

The dirty fingernails and ring around the collar at the end of the day types.

We are going to show you how it’s really done.

The best part is that you asked for it.