One For The Books

The Kid got a job a few months ago at some place that does restoration work for water damage etc.

It’s literally five minutes from here. As is so very typical of him, he generally leaves to get there five minutes before the shift starts.

He’s 23 now, tall, blonde, a good looking kid and I have to admit he has come a long ways from a few years ago when I wanted to strangle him on a daily basis.

Now it’s just every OTHER day.

I’m actually proud of him. That’s not to say that he doesn’t still fuck up constantly but like I said, he is growing up and is fairly responsible.

When it comes to certain things.

Shit like losing his wallet twenty two times and never being able to find his keys?

Yeah, there is room for improvement. Recently he lost his wallet yet again, had to wait for weeks to get a replacement drivers license and then promptly lost that wallet with the new license in it, in one fucking day.

I kid you not.

He will learn eventually.

His latest little fuck up will go into the books though.

I don”t think in my sixty one years, I have ever heard this one before.

As usual, he was right on the ragged edge going to work. He gets there, has his damn ear buds in and starts taking a bunch of shit out of his car to put in the work truck.

While he is doing this and listening to music full blast, he thinks he hears a car running but looking around he can’t pinpoint it. So he gets in the truck and off they go.

He gets back ten hours later, goes to jump in his car and the thing is unlocked. When he gets in, the dash is still lit up and his gas mileage reminder is reading ZERO.

Yep, he left the thing running until it ran out of gas.

It didn’t have much in it to begin with.

That’s a new one.

The thing must have one hell of a battery in it for that not to be dead too.

So the little shit head gets a ride home, I hand him a little gas can with gas in it I keep for the lawnmower and then I proceed to tell him to cycle the key about ten times after he gets the gas in it, before he starts cranking the engine over so it can prime the fuel system again.

He gets back about an hour later, hands me an empty gas can and the gives his Mother some money he owed her.

WTF dude?

You can stop at the bank but you can’t refill my gas can while you are at the gas station?

Dumbass.

I’m tellin’ ya though, he is never, ever going to live this one down. I’m going to make sure of that now.

17 thoughts on “One For The Books

  1. Many years ago I got the atomic load on a work night (I worked on a golf course) and thought that I’d probably never be able to get up at zero dark thirty to make it to work on time so I drove straight to the golf course from the bar. (Yes,I know. But those were different times) I decided to sleep in my car right there. Turned out it was a chilly night so I apparently needed some heat. When I woke up that 65 Lemans was like a sauna and the gauge was on E. Night watering guy said he checked on me a couple times and I seemed alive so he just left me be. Fortunately that car had a good exhaust system

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  2. My head doesn’t make some memories unless I do something out of the ordinary. I lost my keys every day until I finally bought a key box. Then it took months to train myself to go straight there, hang my keys and id on it. Now, I only lose my keys a couple times a month. Brain is not wired like most everybody else.

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  3. Reminds me of my stepson. He’s finally getting better (at 30) but damned lucky I didn’t kill him in his teens. He keep going somewhere then losing his (actually mine – i paid for it) truck key. I put one of those magnetic key holders under the frame but wouldn’t tell him where. He’d call with no key, I’d tell him where the spare was. Next day, he and I would go get another spare. And then I’d hide the magnetic holder in a different spot. Eventually he figured it out, then lost both keys. Unbelievable

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  4. As I was reading this, I thought to myself how glad I am that there were no blog sites when I was young for my parents to tell the world what a dumbass I was.
    My old man would never hesitate telling his buddies though.
    Being they were all farmers and we all helped each other out with equipment, I was around these guys all the time. They had a good time at my expense.
    As I got older and heard some of the stories about the things they did growing up, I’ve reached the conclusion that we all go through a stupid stage. I guess that some never outgrow it for some reason. I think getting my ass kicked by “Uncle Sam” helped bring me around.

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      • Had to come back for some company that’s coming for a few days.
        Kinda needed a shower too.
        12 days without one and the only water has beaver living in it by the truck load.
        We had some rafting clients get a nice bull caribou and missed another one.
        The migration stopped and hung up a couple days N.W. of my area.
        Need a plane or a jet boat to get to that place.
        My buddy took a black bear so we have enjoyed feeding on that some.
        Season runs all through this month so there’s still plenty of hunting left.
        Had six inches of snow drop here one day.
        Got warm again so it’s gone now.

        My asshole comment was deflecting blame from me.
        I figured by putting Aussie on your back would keep ya young.

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        • When I saw it I knew you weren’t too serious… I kinda figured it was to torque the blind Aussie. I know Johno is gonna say beaver scented water will attract Sasquatches and feral, lonely librarians. Since you have been gone, Sandy will report me as “Wooing” her and as a typical heart-breaker tossed me under the bus to UnFuck.

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  5. My wallet and keys Stay in my pockets. (along with LCP) Had my ass literally kicked by my dad when young for such transgressions. The repercussions of my negligence weren’t small potatoes. Learned the hard way.

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