28 thoughts on “Perfect For Those Who Can’t Get Their Shit Together

  1. I had to fire a guy just yesterday after only a week and a half, decided he would show up when he felt like it, WRONG ANSWER pal. He was 23 and of course it was never his fault.

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    • I worked with a guy in the 80’s who was constantly late. My favorite excuse of his was this one: I had company til 3 am last night. I can’t help it if they stayed late.

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    • Deathray is looking for a job, he would have a legitimate excuse if late, “The snow was deep.” I would too, depends on where you are at and what the job is. Being an old fart I can work steady but not like a rented mule.

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  2. When I was a manager I kept a log of late/absence excuses. I am not even kidding.

    1. I lost my teeth in the garden.
    2. I’m still in an all night card game and the guns are on the table.
    3. The cat reset the alarm clock.
    4. My mother in laws truck blew up.
    5. I’m celebrating Robert E. Lee’s birthday
    6. Lightning hit my well pump. – That one was real and when I bought a house with a well the same guy said “I hope lightning hits that son of a bitch”

    Had one person go completely crazy and ended up with a medical retirement. Had another come into the office and said he was going to be out for a while – turned out he was going to jail for causing his underage step-daughter to be with child. Had a guy that security watched fill up his personal vehicle at the gas pump we had for company trucks. They escorted him off the property on the spot.

    The thing is all of these people were about 5% of the workforce and thought they were protected because they were in Union jobs. What they never realized is that when I proceeded with discipline I had other union members thank me. The vast majority have no use for slackers. I spent a lot of time on the phone with the President of the Local Lodge and he had no problem with me doing some house cleaning.

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    • Mikey, #5 would be correct if you are in certain parts of the South. They take Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis seriously…

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  3. Always wondered if johno had his own business, now I know, it’s gotta be difficult having to use reverse time being on the wrong side of the equator.

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  4. Sandy, we call the Greens Party watermelons: green on the outside, but red at heart. Say, why don’t you scare Deathray into trapping a bunch of ermine skins as trimming for your Antifa-fur coat?

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  5. Guy I worked with back in the day was a chronic offender. Not too long after JFK was assassinated, the guy was fired when he called in and his excuse was that he was mourning the Kennedy. I never saw anyone fired for incompetence but excessive absence was the one.

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  6. Miss Sandy, why not try to tan Cederq’s hide? Drape that bulldog over your shoulder! Plenty of dingo and red fox to skin in Australia. Also red deer, and chital, fallow, axis and the big sambahr. Asiatic buffalo and banteng in the Northern Territory.

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  7. I always thought the business hours should read Open – Now – closed- when we get tired. Or another way of saying open now, closed when we’re not open.All this hour listing is to complicated.

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  8. My motto has always been…I’d rather be 30 minutes early than 5 minutes late.

    That’s what I’d tell my guys when I became a supervisor, too. Had one crew that started showing up late. First, it was I forgot what time we started. Next it was forgot to set my alarm. Next it was the company truck wouldn’t start.

    I finally told him if he was late one more time, he was gone. I don’t care how good your crew is. We contract for a big corporation and it makes us look bad when you are continually late. He got the message and started showing up 15 minutes early from then on.

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