43 thoughts on “This Is Why I Don’t Work On Cars Anymore

  1. The claim on the InterTubes is that’s a BMW motor, and those could be BMW intercoolers on the front.

    Some M-Series X-Drive?

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  2. And the electronics is just as involved. I’ve been trying to straighten out a problem with my airbag system for four months now.

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  3. My first car was a 66 Dodge Dart with a 225 slant 6 and a single barrel Holley Carb. You could crawl under the hood and sleep with that 225, there was that much room. It was made for shade mechanics and was perfect for me to work on as a teenager.

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  4. Take a look at some of the new outboard engines. I’ve been working on boats for 50 yrs & can’t even get the cowling off some of them now.

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    • Dear, the shop manual for that motor is only about four inches in depth, a shop manual for a woman could not be carried by an over-rated semi licensed at 104,000 pounds…

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          • My shop manual for a man in four easy steps:

            Feed him frequently; copious amounts of meat required.

            Allow him ample time for his hobbies; hunting, fishing, boating, crabbing, skeet, trap, reloading, target practice, etc. The more hobbies the better. Keeps him out of my hair.

            Fuck him frequently; whenever, wherever, however.

            Donโ€™t talk his ear off – just shut up and make him a sandwich

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        • Not even half a page. Women need: Wine, Song, Romance, a man only needs a place… Why women dress up in Victoria’s Secret and other lingerie… you could strip off Walmart granny panties and an industrial bra and men would be ready.

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  5. Good for a laugh: Theodore Beale is obsessed with boomers now. Gamma that he is, he can’t leave the subject alone now. Phil, you should be proud! You, after all, started it.

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  6. All that hardware allows modern engines to produce HUNDREDS of horsepower and still get 20 or more MPG. It’s great technology till something goes wrong. Then it’s a nightmare.

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  7. “We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”

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    • My 80 Camaro 305 had a computer connection to the carburetor. It would hesitate when you pressed the gas pedal. It is because of that carb that I went to an Edlebrock manifold and Holley carb and 26* advance, then to a Carter AFB when I got tired of having to adjust the floats on the Holley in the middle of a date. But yea, could see and get to the spark plugs and everything. The only problem after that was that the ignition module inside the distributor would overheat and crap out about every 6 months while it was parked in the driveway overnight. Kept a spare in the glove box and it took about 2 minutes to change it.

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  8. And the really depressing , thing about it is you STILL put in the squish cylinder an air fuel mixture, throw a spark in the general die=rection, it does it’s splay thing and you get power out the ass end, same as it di in 1924.Wiht all that crap hangin off it I afeared the air/fuel and spark aint ever gonna find their way to anything let alone the splody hole….

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  9. I quit with mechanical work when it got to the point of pulling the cab to work on a truck engine.
    I still remember the Audi that came in for a water pump.
    1. Remove headlights.
    2. Place front bumper in service lock position.
    No more. If I can’t lift it onto a workbench or pull up a stool and a fan next to it, I ain’t working on it.
    And what the hell did that engineering monstrosity come out of? Looks like a complete engine tranny combo on a subframe.

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    • If I can’t fix sumthin while sitting on my old, retired ass, it ain’t getting fixed. Fuck a bunch of crawlin around on the floor. And fuck cold weather. And fuck blowing dirt. And…

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    • A friend of mine (who has done quite well by the way) has a custom ordered Audi S-7 and it is one mean machine. Till it breaks. It has built in night vision. The little lens on the Infrared camera in the front end cracked and they had to completely disassemble that car to change it out. The bastards also have it wired so you have to have your headlights on for the Infrared night vision to engage. The car won’t let you drive around in the dark with just night vision. I will say that driving at speed way out in the country the night vision lets you see things in the road way out past the headlight range. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not advocating for pricey cars. In the words of Scotty from Star Trek – “The more they over tech the plumbing the easier it is to stop up the drain”.

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  10. Iโ€™ve had something fro the 60s as a second vehicle for over 30 years. Now I drive one as my primary vehicle. Carburetors and points are the way to go.

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  11. I have a 86 GMC pickup with a 350 with vortec heads and a nice comp cams giving me around 375hp.

    I can stand in the engine compartment on either side and do what every needs to be done.

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