Coming home from the In Law’s place a bit ago,on a good day its a forty five minute drive.
I forgot about Rush Hour.
Just as I could feel the first signs of having to take a piss about half way home here comes the brake lights.
Traffic stops, picks up and then slows to a crawl and I am still three and a half miles away from the interchange from I-84 to I-205 Northbound.
Stop and go, it’s hotter than hell outside so I have the A/C going and the urge gets stronger with every passing foot.
The usual assholes cutting in and out thinking they are really doing something if they manage to get one car length in front of you two lanes over.
You know the deal.
I finally got onto 205 Northbound and it ain’t no better.
Two more miles of bumper to bumper horse shit and now I seriously gotta piss.
There ain’t no getting over and even if I did manage to get back off the freeway, God only knows how long it would take to find a place with a public rest room.
So I grit it out.
Another twenty five minutes to go ten freaking miles and I finally hit the side roads.
Pull up in front of the house, RUN to the door, fumble fuck with keys, get the door open just to have a fucking cat make a mad dash for freedom right between my legs and sprint to the bathroom.
I thought my kidney’s were gonna bust before I could Free Willy and start lettin’ it all hang out.
The joys of it all.
It’s just one more thing that nobody tells you about getting older when you are a kid.
Kinda like Mystery Pains.
You just get left to find these things out on your own.
The Hard Way.