Someone Just Had A Party In My Mouth

Heads up, if you are squeamish turn the fuck around and get the fuck out, you shouldn’t be here in the first place.

Not one of my regular readers is squeamish so we can proceed now.

Went to the dentist, checked in and bigger than shit they had me scheduled for a deep cleaning.


Change of plans there Missy.

I dug in my pocket and pulled out 3 empty tubes of ORAJEL, showed them to her and told her there was going to be some tooth pullin’ going on here today.

So she disappeared in the back for a couple of minutes and came back to tell me that they could work me in.

Since I haven’t been getting much sleep lately, I have been dealing with absolute misery with this tooth bullshit and I hadn’t eaten yet because I didn’t want to have to clean a bunch of debris out of a fucked up tooth before I left home, I think it was pretty obvious that I didn’t have much sense of humor right at the moment.

It wasn’t long and into the back I go.

First the topical for a few minutes then pretty soon in comes the dentist lady and out comes the Hypo full of Novacaine.

I told her since she had plenty of that on hand to use more than she figured she would need.

It’s a good thing too.

Five minutes after half my face was numb she started in and it was a knock down, drag out fight from start to finish.

Over an hour and a half to pull two molars and at one point I had two dentists working in my mouth at the same time because of course one of the roots broke off and the first one couldn’t get it to budge.

3 times I heard her say that my teeth were really brittle and at one point while she was literally grinding on my jaw bone with a fucking burr bit, she mentioned Micro Cracks.

Ayep, I told her another dentist had told me that years ago.

I warned her before she even started that this wasn’t going to be easy.

This is nasty so you can bail if you want but this is what they yanked out of my mouth.

The four pieces on the right were once all one tooth that had a crown on it.

Come to find out, that’s the one that was giving me all the misery.

Top middle, the whole side of the tooth was one huge cavity, under the crown and under the gum line that went around behind and in between the two teeth.

Now this next one is really gross and at first glance, you would think that it was the one giving me all the trouble.

It’s a fucking MESS and you can see not only where it had a huge filling in it that had broken off but another little tiny one on the side where the tooth had spit underneath it and where the whole damn tooth had basically split open like a busted watermelon.

Yeah, that needed to go.

Scraping, drilling, prying, grinding and grunting, like I said, it took two of ’em to finally get all that shit dug out.

Stitches in one hole, the other one in the back is so big she couldn’t stitch it together.

I go back in two weeks to get the stitches out and two weeks after that, a whole month from now, I go in and we START the process of getting something in my mouth to chew with.

I’m already pretty damn skinny, a month of basically starvation rations and we’ll see how things look then.

I already told them that I am not spending ten thousand fucking dollars on implants so they are going to have to get creative.

After I lit her up about their little habit of not prescribing any pain medications and basically told her that I thought the last guy there who pulled the other two molars on the other side, broke every single root off, dug them out and scraped my jaw bone for burrs before basically patting me on the ass to get me out the door was actually training to be a veterinarian and there will be pain medication prescribed this time.. I said there is absolutely no reason on Earth that anyone should have to suffer like that in this day and age.

Oh she tried to give me the old, take 1000 mg of Tylenol extra strength and a bunch of Ibuprofen at the same time bullshit but I was having none of it.

Like I said above, no sleep, no food and weeks of agony had driven me to the point that I was gonna get fucking ruthless if I had to.

Pretty sure she saw that in my eyes.

So she wrote me a script for some serious pain relief finally but only enough for a couple days. That is fine with me because that’s all I want, enough for a couple of days until the carnage wrought starts to heal.

After that I will manage it myself.

I did get a chuckle when I picked up the pills and the pharmacist tries to warn me that they might cause me to get constipated and wants to know if they are for my back. I says Hold On A Sec.

I whip out my phone, show him those pictures and tell him that I don’t think being constipated is going to be an issue since I’m not going to be able to eat anything much for the next several days.

Let the fun begin, the novacaine is already starting to wear off and the throbbing has started in.

At least the whole nightmare didn’t cost me an arm and a leg. $96 Co Pay and the insurance picked up the pills at no cost to me.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go spit out a big wad of bloody cotton, replace it and try to get one of these little pills washed down,

I believe I am pretty much going to be done for the day after that.

58 thoughts on “Someone Just Had A Party In My Mouth

  1. Wow, Good luck man. Soup I guess, not too hot or cold. Well, you’re on the road to recovery ?

    All things must pass and that bullshit.


  2. Not sure if the machinist-curmudgeon blogster would go for it, but what about the idea of setting up a go fund me for the guy so he can afford dental implants? They really are the way to go, if the jaw bone structure will support them. I don’t know how to set up a go fund me, but I certainly would contribute as I imagine a number of his avid readers would.


    • Really do appreciate the thought but absolutely not. The way things are looking I think everyone should be holding on to every penny they can get their hands on. Trust me, I will get by.


      • Look at this way $10k today between us would fix you, in 2 years of Jello Joe it’ll barely buy one of us a cheeseburger. ..


  3. My 14 year old Chichuahua’s mouth is rotting from back to front like yours but we can’t do a damn thing about it. We don’t know if inevitable infection from rot or congestive heart failure, which we’re spending $130 a month on meds to slow, is gonna take her out first.

    Consider getting yourself a food processor and use it to avoid losing weight. You can throw everything you normally eat, or should be eating into the ‘Magic Bullet’ and drink it down.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah,we inherited an old cat when we moved that a neighbor had abandoned and he wound up having a mouthful of rotten teeth too. We were lucky in the sense that they were actually able to pull the worst of them and still leave enough so the poor old bastard can still eat. Sounds like you have a no win situation. My condolences. As soon as my gums start healing up I will be adjusting my diet to things I can get around the outside of without them shredding my gums until I can get some kind of appliance fabricated.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I have the same Bone, a 12 year old Chihuahua that finally a vet would remove or clean her front teeth that would not cost a grand or so, only 200 bucks. My regular vet wouldn’t touch her even when I said I would take the risk, because I didn’t want her to croak with an infection.She too has CHF and a pronounced murmur. Her name is Guido the killer Chi…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Spaghetti and meatballs in a blender looks about as gross as you can get, but tastes pretty good and didn’t bother the holes the dentist left in my face. Good luck and may I say OWW!


  5. Damn it man, I’m right behind you on these teeth things. Last dentist visit he said “you need four Crowns” I inquired as to how much one was, he said “$1100.00” each. NOT TODAY JACK, that was about a year ago. I feel ya Phil.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I wish my crown only cost 1100. been more than 2 weeks and I still don’t have it. Had to pay up front too.
    I really dislike dentists.


  7. About 6 years ago, I had 11 bad upper teeth pulled and a partial denture made. I never regretted it. It took a week to stop bleeding, but I survived on soup and Jello. I would never consider implants, or a denture that attaches to screws in your jaw. Why take a chance on gum disease problems? When the lowers get bad enough, they are going to be replaced the same way. The hardest part was finding a dentist who was willing to do what I wanted to be done, not what he thought was best. The one that I ended up going to specializes in dentures, and has an in-house lab.


  8. Buddy of mine from the Army had all his chompers out from some exposure to ‘something’ before he was 40… told me he learned from this old old OLD dude to rinse with Apple Cider vinegar 3x a day over the gums to help toughen them up. He has no toofuses, but still manages steak bro… guy is old-skool like you, and check yer email.


  9. Milkshakes and a straw. Plenty of calories and you can get the stuff back far enough so the cold don’t kill ya. Seriously- I had the tender mercies of a VA hospital and a old school dentist- he cracked the impacted teeth with a cold chisel and a hammer. I grew up with a dentist who used a cable driven drill and no novocain…….


  10. I feel your pain. Abscessed teeth are the worst pain, second only to a heart attack – I have had both. Just when the world went full retard over the Corona shit, 4 teeth exploded and could not get into a dentist. Finally got in. Over the last year, 3 extractions, 8 root canals and 9 crowns – still on a modified soft food diet – hoping to end that soon. Luckily my dentist is ok about pain management, and my dental insurance covers 40 percent of everything with no annual maximum, which would be 50 percent if he was “in network”


  11. Looks like you’ll be better off without that one for sure. My advice, take the meds as required. Take a little Milk of Magnesia to keep the mail moving if needed. I took a crap ton of pain meds after my shoulder rebuild last year and MoM took care of it. It was worth it because the shoulder is great now. You’ll get past this part and feel better. Then it’s steak time!


  12. Damn and they took some tissue and the Periodontal Ligament with it… if not for the Novacaine you would be a screamin’ and a hollering and swinging fists…


  13. Phil I spent eight weeks with my teeth wired shut with a broken jaw. Fortunately, I had enough of an overbite that they didn’t have to knock a tooth out to get a straw in. But everything I ate for those two months had to go through a blender. When yer bod is starving, some of the most unlikely things can be absolutely wonderful. One of my favorites was cube steak blended to a milkshake consistency. Nowadays it seems every grocery store and Wallyworld has protein powders to add to any smoothie or shakes that you can get down.


  14. A little over a year ago I had 7 teeth removed. Both sides, top and bottom.

    Went to an oral surgeon in Beaverton who got them all out in about an hour, and didn’t pull them. He used an odd gizmo that vibrated the teeth right out of their sockets. Felt like someone was using a jackhammer in my mouth.

    And he gave me 325 mg Oxycodone for my trouble. Didn’t use them until the tooth I just had the root canal on started making my life miserable earlier this year.

    For about a week after I was eating soup, over-cooked pasta, and pudding.


  15. Phil,
    Fat is where it at… Coconut oil and ghee from Costco ,blend it into your morning coffee. Put it in/on everything.. 130 calories A tablespoon. Been there, done that. Still have the bloody t-shirt… Oh, and I absolutely hate ALL dentists. Sadistic bastards


  16. A few years ago I had finally had it up to here with the pain and the root canals, crowns, bridges and partial appliances that I had been sold over the years. I once had a dentist, that after examining my teeth for a few minutes, actually asked if I had spent time in a foreign prison. In short I was a dental basket case.

    So I went to Aspen Dental and had the rest my natural teeth yanked, I was down to 16, and had myself fitted for the best dentures they made.

    Didn’t really cost all that much and they financed me at 0% as long as I didn’t miss a payment.

    Anyway, I wish I had done it at least ten years earlier.

    For whatever that’s worth.


  17. Last time in, I asked the dentist if I could get a volume discount – I’m sure he’s been able to get a new boat with all my visits.
    The last one involved a root canal, he dug down to normal depth and there was still root.
    So he dug some more, then dug some more, then dug some more.
    Said he had never seen a root that went that deep.
    I was beginning to wonder if he was going to end up in one of my toes.


  18. You are in deep trouble. You suck on a cigarette or a straw and you will suck a clot out of the hole where your tooth is supposed to be. A dentist, a bird colonel, after pulling my wisdom teeth, told me if I used up all the gauze and it hadn’t stopped bleeding, call him. After 8 hours the gauze was gone, I called and he said put a tea bag on it for a couple hours. It worked. Bloody salty strong tea flavor though.


  19. Damn.
    Sucks to have a dentist who won’t prescribe pain pills.
    I used to have one who gave me them like candy, but he died.
    He was a shitty dentist, but he did like to give me the good pills.
    Still have all of my teeth though, well, besides the two front ones that were busted off at the gum line when as a kid I went downhill on a toboggan head first and hit a tree stump. Those are capped off.



  20. Damn Phil, I will mumble a prayer for you. I had a run in with an Army dentist at age 5, I am still traumatized. 4 wisdom teeth, a cap and an implant later, I still don’t like the dentist visits.


    • I had the same experience but I think I was seven or eight. Fucking old bastard too. He was drilling on one of my teeth and I was screaming at him to stop because it wasn’t numb enough. I bitched mightily at my Mom about the fucker and he basically called me a pussy. Said it was impossible that I could feel it. You would think the screaming would be a clue. I have hated dentists ever since that day and having fucked up brittle teeth and having had some knocked out like Right Wing Terrorist, my X-rays look like a dentist’s play ground.


  21. You might consider checking out dentists in Mexico and Thailand. Got a housemate that drives down to Mexico from San Jose for dental work. Just over the border. He also goes there for body & paint work on his Lexis.
    Had a friend that had a full mouth of implants done in Thailand. Said it cost him 1/3 what it would cost in the US. He liked the country, so it was a vacation for him. He had originally gone there during the Vietnam war.


  22. Dumb question.

    How did you let it get that bad?

    That gnarly mess looks like it took some time to fester.

    I have an issue now that I originally went in for that the dentist told me was sprained ligaments attached to the teeth. I had throat cancer. And when you get that, you have to have your mouth and teeth in good order, because if they look like yours, the rot would hit the jaw and I’d be screwed. To this day I have to be super diligent about my teeth, since the radiation messed them and my jaw up. If I so much as skip a few teeth brushes, I’ll get cavities.

    So I rocked in there and dude did a cat scan. (He has the best toys). Nothing.

    But still, the moment I have issues, I’m off to the dentist. Luckily I have dental coverage.


      • Wow. Makes sense though. There but for the grace of God go I.

        I’ve been lucky to have decent dentists my whole life. When I got down here to DFW I asked around and got the name of a decent guy – ex military dentist. he was OK, but always seemed to find cavities. Pretty rough too. Started drilling one time and I was nowhere near numb. That’s when he figured out the tendons on my jaw were blocking the magic juice, and he jacked my jaw up so bad I was drooling for hours.

        Got sick of this and went to a husband-wife team near my house. Wife had me endure a deep clean, then I sat with the business manager to discuss my ‘treatment’ plan. replace all my old fillings, pull wisdom teeth I’ve had in since high school. ~$5K at the time. Fuuuuuuckthaaaaaat… went back to the other dude. Funny, the wife partner left.

        When I was diagnosed with throat cancer, I had to see a dental oncologist. Someone that knew what radiation would do. Very cool guy. Younger. Got laid off of being a Computer guy, sent himself back to school. Filled a void – Any cancer that involves radiation and your head, you have to see a guy like him. They are few and far between. Even here in DFW.

        Doesn’t charge for fluoride, if you need it. Doesn’t charge for many extras others hit you for. I can’t have scraping done, so they use a sonic wand, and a sand blaster that uses baking soda with warm water. When I need work done he’s 100% painless. Replaced a crown 3X because it kept popping off, for free. He has a mill that makes them onsite, so there’s no ‘wait 3 weeks’ with a shitty metal temp. Last time I had it done, he was hilarious. I said I popped it out the same way – stinking veggie chips sticking it to the upper jaw and pulling it off. He said, nah…probably the shitty glue we used at the time.

        Great place. I don’t mind going. Cute women assistants. Dudes that know what they’re doing. Caught one of the new hygienists scraping on my teeth. They had me come back a month later to do it right. And funny, she was g-o-n-e. Didn’t even have to complain.

        Dude also does cosmetic dentistry as well.

        Dude drives a Mclaren. I don’t begrudge him. He’s one of the few I’ve seen worth it. One of the handful of medical pros I use that I like as actual people.


  23. I’m retired from a life time of dentistry. I started being trained as an assistant to the dentist when I was 16. It was an after school job. They really taught me how to work! I was an assistant for years until I went to school to be a hygienist in 1998. You really need to find another dentist. We always gave antibiotics and pain medication after an extraction. Curly is correct about the straws and cigarettes, even with the collagen. A dry socket is no fun. You have to go in EVERY day to have the socket repacked with gauze and a medicated paste to replace the blood clot or it will hurt like hell and pain meds won’t touch it. (unless things have changed somehow since I retired in 2016). No one likes going to the dentist! Or hygienist! sigh


  24. Sincere condolences and Best Wishes for a speedy recovery, from another blogger who’s spent far more time than I’d have liked in a dental inquisitor’s torture chair.

    When I see the Manufacturer, I’m going to ask why teeth weren’t designed like lug nuts, so that they could be replaced in a few minutes with no muss or fuss, as necessary. A couple of spins on an air wrench, old one out, shiny new one in, torqued to spec, Bob’s your uncle, and out the door. Pay the lady on your way out.

    Until that day, Happy Norcination.
    BTW, you can crush those pain tablet(s) up as necessary, and sprinkle the powder into applesauce, and they go down without any further problem in a spoonful or so.


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