Heads up, if you are squeamish turn the fuck around and get the fuck out, you shouldn’t be here in the first place.
Not one of my regular readers is squeamish so we can proceed now.
Went to the dentist, checked in and bigger than shit they had me scheduled for a deep cleaning.
Change of plans there Missy.
I dug in my pocket and pulled out 3 empty tubes of ORAJEL, showed them to her and told her there was going to be some tooth pullin’ going on here today.
So she disappeared in the back for a couple of minutes and came back to tell me that they could work me in.
Since I haven’t been getting much sleep lately, I have been dealing with absolute misery with this tooth bullshit and I hadn’t eaten yet because I didn’t want to have to clean a bunch of debris out of a fucked up tooth before I left home, I think it was pretty obvious that I didn’t have much sense of humor right at the moment.
It wasn’t long and into the back I go.
First the topical for a few minutes then pretty soon in comes the dentist lady and out comes the Hypo full of Novacaine.
I told her since she had plenty of that on hand to use more than she figured she would need.
It’s a good thing too.
Five minutes after half my face was numb she started in and it was a knock down, drag out fight from start to finish.
Over an hour and a half to pull two molars and at one point I had two dentists working in my mouth at the same time because of course one of the roots broke off and the first one couldn’t get it to budge.
3 times I heard her say that my teeth were really brittle and at one point while she was literally grinding on my jaw bone with a fucking burr bit, she mentioned Micro Cracks.
Ayep, I told her another dentist had told me that years ago.
I warned her before she even started that this wasn’t going to be easy.
This is nasty so you can bail if you want but this is what they yanked out of my mouth.
The four pieces on the right were once all one tooth that had a crown on it.
Come to find out, that’s the one that was giving me all the misery.
Top middle, the whole side of the tooth was one huge cavity, under the crown and under the gum line that went around behind and in between the two teeth.
Now this next one is really gross and at first glance, you would think that it was the one giving me all the trouble.
It’s a fucking MESS and you can see not only where it had a huge filling in it that had broken off but another little tiny one on the side where the tooth had spit underneath it and where the whole damn tooth had basically split open like a busted watermelon.
Yeah, that needed to go.
Scraping, drilling, prying, grinding and grunting, like I said, it took two of ’em to finally get all that shit dug out.
Stitches in one hole, the other one in the back is so big she couldn’t stitch it together.
I go back in two weeks to get the stitches out and two weeks after that, a whole month from now, I go in and we START the process of getting something in my mouth to chew with.
I’m already pretty damn skinny, a month of basically starvation rations and we’ll see how things look then.
I already told them that I am not spending ten thousand fucking dollars on implants so they are going to have to get creative.
After I lit her up about their little habit of not prescribing any pain medications and basically told her that I thought the last guy there who pulled the other two molars on the other side, broke every single root off, dug them out and scraped my jaw bone for burrs before basically patting me on the ass to get me out the door was actually training to be a veterinarian and there will be pain medication prescribed this time.. I said there is absolutely no reason on Earth that anyone should have to suffer like that in this day and age.
Oh she tried to give me the old, take 1000 mg of Tylenol extra strength and a bunch of Ibuprofen at the same time bullshit but I was having none of it.
Like I said above, no sleep, no food and weeks of agony had driven me to the point that I was gonna get fucking ruthless if I had to.
Pretty sure she saw that in my eyes.
So she wrote me a script for some serious pain relief finally but only enough for a couple days. That is fine with me because that’s all I want, enough for a couple of days until the carnage wrought starts to heal.
After that I will manage it myself.
I did get a chuckle when I picked up the pills and the pharmacist tries to warn me that they might cause me to get constipated and wants to know if they are for my back. I says Hold On A Sec.
I whip out my phone, show him those pictures and tell him that I don’t think being constipated is going to be an issue since I’m not going to be able to eat anything much for the next several days.
Let the fun begin, the novacaine is already starting to wear off and the throbbing has started in.
At least the whole nightmare didn’t cost me an arm and a leg. $96 Co Pay and the insurance picked up the pills at no cost to me.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go spit out a big wad of bloody cotton, replace it and try to get one of these little pills washed down,
I believe I am pretty much going to be done for the day after that.