All Done Fucking Around With It

Mr. Weed?

Meet Mr. Fire.

Now prepare to die.

Motherfuckers.

I spent about $150 last year on Ground Clear, Round Up and other so called sure bet weed killers and the fucking things just laughed at me.

Didn’t even phase ’em.

So last weekend, I tried the concoction a reader suggested consisting of Vinegar, Epsom Salts and Dawn dishwasher soap, something else that was guaranteed to kill weeds dead.

Ha.

NOT.

I see some of the Crab Grass is kinda turning brown but everything else is still nice and green and luxurious.

Or was.

Growing like the fucking weeds they are.

Enough is enough says I.

I bought that weed burner last year and it has been sitting out in the garage just waiting for this very day.

I even had a 20 lb. bottle of Propane.

Needless to say there is a large swath of dead fucking shit out front right now.

Crispy Dead.

Fuck you motherfuckers.

I also bought a bag of Weed & Feed type shit and spread over the front yard and it says it kills 200 different types of weeds ON CONTACT.

There might not be any lawn left to mow if that’s true.

Shucky Darn.

That would be…. unfortunate.

19 thoughts on “All Done Fucking Around With It

  1. You can put weedblock down until the cows come home, and those dandelions and Canadian Thistle will grow in a millimeter’s worth of soil…
    Flame on!

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  2. Sometimes weedkillers will actually kill weeds….sometimes not. What I use that DOES do a good job is a preemergent….Casoron. It comes as VERY fine granules that you spread on a WEED FREE SURFACE in the winter time BEFORE the weeds start popping up. It doesn’t stop 100% of them but it makes it keeps the vast majority of them from germinating so you can keep up with the few that do grow. It’s expensive though….i use about $600 dollars worth of it every year. But I have over an acre of gravel that has to be dealt with. Once the weeds start coming up through gravel it’s really tough to do anything about them without disturbing the gravel.

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  3. If you can find a herbicide containing Imazapic, you’ll likely find some pretty amazing success in controlling just about all of your pesky broadleaf weeds. Just be sure to check the label to see if any of your desirable plants are on the Kill List. Imazapic isn’t a “Spray Now, Dead Tomorrow” type of herbicide, but it remains active in the soil and has a very good half-life, so you might only have to spray once every six months (or longer), depending on your weather, soil, microbes, etc.
    I recently sprayed some VERY old Imazapic all around my house and, for a couple weeks, I went around thinking that it was just too old to be effective. We finally received a bit of rain that caused the plants to kick in their metabolism and now I’ve got a dead zone that looks like someone dragged a poster of Helen Thomas’ spread open mudflaps across it. Yes. It’s THAT dead.

    Flame on with your new toy, but chemical intervention is your surest bet in the long run.

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  4. I used the recipe below to kill dandelions a few years ago out front of my front stoop. It worked well, but it took about a week to show any progress. It also killed the grass adjacent to the weeds. The grass came back. The weeds didn’t.

    I cut the recipe down to a quart. I still have about 3/4 of it left. I use an empty dish soap bottle to dispense it. Set the on off stopper on the top so that the solution barely dribbles out when turned upside down. Squeeze the bottle when you want to apply. Works sort like a spray bottle set to stream.

    Mark both bottles with what’s in it or with the poison symbol (skull and crossbones), so that some fool doesn’t come along and drink it. I don’t think it will kill them, but they’ll probably wish they were dead after spending a couple days sitting on the john. ;-))

    Weed Killer

    1 gallon white vinegar (You could use another type of vinegar, but white is the cheapest and easiest to buy in large quantities)

    2 cups Epsom salt (I like the garden variety found in local garden centers, but I have a friend who used iodized salt… I’m not sure about the long term effects of this since science shows regular salt will keep anything from growing for quite a while afterwards.)

    1/4 cup Dish soap (Dr. Bronner’s castile soap can also be used for a more natural option.)

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    • I keep a jug in the shed for last years two cycle gas. My small engines get fresh mix, and yes, the old stuff is an excellent herbicide.

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  5. I just use weed and feed but the most important thing is to keep your lawn mower on it’s highest height. Thick, tall grass prevents the dandelion seeds from even reaching the ground so they can’t get started.

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  6. Damn…. I got that vinegar concoction from a buddy who is the head greenskeeper at a fairly prestigious country club back east. That stuff killed willows, foxtails, dandelions, wild roses, birch & spruce saplings and anything even remotely green. My apologies. I’d have bet my last beer on that working for you.

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  7. Go to Ebay or Tractor Supply, and get some 2-4-D for broadleaf weeds.
    Mix some Roundup with it for total ground clearing.
    Round up won’t touch dandelions or clover but kills all grasses.
    Mix it strong enough so that you see birds falling from the sky when you apply it LOL.
    The standard mix is 2 tablespoons per gallon of water for home use.

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  8. Pingback: Sunday Linkage « Bacon Time !!!!!!

  9. Phil, put all your cigs into a big Stainless pot. Add water. Cover and boil until the liquid becomes as dark as it looks like it’s gonna be. Then, strain the mixed broth through a sock/coffee-filter to get rid of solids. Simmer that liquid until it just starts to thicken-up. Voila, you got Nicotine Sulfate contact-poison. Put it in a dedicated spritz/pump sprayer (label it!), dilute it with some alcohol. Wherever you spray that, whatever living plants/weeds you hit will die and stay dead.

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