That Was Maybe A Little Too Good!

A guy at work gave me a nice big hunk of some smoked Steelhead yesterday.

Oh man is that stuff good!

I ate a small bit of it at work and then wrapped it up and brought it home to snack on.

A little bit of that goes a long way with me.

There is something about the oil in any Salmon that flat out attacks me if I eat too much of it.

I get heartburn and indigestion something fierce if I don’t watch it.

I love the stuff but it don’t love me back.

So after I got home last night and got everything put away, kicked my boots off and got ready to settle in, I snagged a little hunk of that to nibble on just because it’s freaking delicious.

It didn’t take too long to polish it off and no sooner has I done that and was kind of sitting here smacking my lips, I hear the little Murder Princess and her signature clawing at the front door bullshit wanting in the house.

If you don’t get up and let her in, she literally destroys the damn door seal clawing at it and making a bunch of racket. I have already had to replace the damn thing twice and it needs it again.

So I get back out of the recliner and go to let the little shithead in the house.

Normally she literally shoots right past me the second there is enough room for her to squeeze by and she hightails it straight to the food bowl.

This time she shot past me as usual but only got about half way across the room and stopped dead in her tracks.

I didn’t think too much about it, came back, set down and grabbed this beater laptop.

About five seconds after I wriggled in to get comfy, the damn cat launched herself off the floor onto the arm of the recliner, stepped directly in the middle of the keyboard, stuck her face right into mine nose to nose and tried to lick me right on the damn lips.

What in the ever loving fuck?!

I gave it a forearm shiver and knocked the fucker out of my face.

That little fucker usually won’t have anything to do with me but the little sonofabitch has some kind of extraordinary sense of smell I guess.

It followed the scent of that smoked fish straight to the last place it had been without the slightest hesitation.

I have seen cats do crazy shit in my day but that was a first.

So I got back up, went in the fridge, peeled the skin off that Steelhead and cut it up into pieces .

I’m telling ya, I have no idea whether or not cats can have orgasms but if they can, that one had a multiple one right there on the floor in front of me.

After it inhaled that smoked fish skin, it started writhing on the floor right where I had set the pieces down

It was downright freaky.

12 thoughts on “That Was Maybe A Little Too Good!

  1. She was probably rolling in the scent of the fish oil left on the floor where you had placed the cut up pieces of skin. It’s some kind of weird animal thing.


  2. Deathray, if I could rig up a mass mouse milker, I’d export the product to Phil, for use during his chip production. I too, have heard pastoralists’ and farmers’ tales of the great mouse plague, a naturally occuring boom and bust phenomenon. When it’s over, they’ll probably have a locust plague after the rains taper off. Mind you, that is thousands of kilometres from here. The only plague annoying me is all the white pointers around, no, not sharks, but young tourist girls taking advantage of the lower UV Indexes during autumn and winter, so they can tan their white bodies without burning their uncovered skin. It can be dangerous, seeing as I’m the only mug watching the bloody road ahead. Cederq would have a prang for sure, from playing with his chubby while driving his Chebby!


  3. You must have watched Crocodile Dundee I to VI, Hogan made sure to call them shrimp in his old tourism ads. Barbecue prawns: make a simple marinade from a flagon or cask of Marsala, dissolving 1kg of brown sugar into it. Pour marinade into a foam brocolli box from a greengrocer, or some other cheapo substitute. Immerse a frozen 10kg carton of prawns (any type, but tigers are great) in it overnight, turning the block in the morning, reseal the cheapo cooler. The prawns will still be cold come early evening, pull out only enough at a time for the iron plate or griddle cooking requirements. The prawns cook quickly, just use tongs to turn them, then drop them into a stainless bowl, when cooked, so guests can serve themselves. No condiments or spices required, just easy access to lined garbage bins for the heads and shell disposal. Any uneaten prawns should be cooked then, for transfer to the fridge, saves more than one cleanup. The only other things needed: copious amount of cold beer, easy access to outdoor handwashing facilities. If it is a traditional Prawn ‘n Porn cultural enrichment night for blokes, the one in charge of the video machine gets a designated prawn-peeler, so no seafood juices are accidently transferred to the entertainment hardware! This cheap, effective marinade works for all shellfish, never tried it with anything else.


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