That’s Not A Husband, That’s A Girl Friend.

“Each time I cook, my husband hides behind the refrigerator door in fear of spurting hot oil.”

My God what a pussy.

17 thoughts on “That’s Not A Husband, That’s A Girl Friend.

  1. Not gay, but instead has been believing womens’ negotiating positions all his life as if they were objective fact. The way childrens’ brain maturation process works is they get their initial loading of facts by ingesting and filing away and believing whatever the authoritative adults around them tell them when they’re of elementary school age. If the liberal feminists are controlling the content then this is what you get. Meanwhile he’s not had enough stressful life experiences to input real world data yet. The divorce will be a personal growth experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The problem with naked bacon cooking is frying it, uncovered.

      If you put it in a cast iron skillet with a lid, in the oven at 325 for 20 minutes, then use a fork to carefully flip each piece, then give it about another 15 minutes at 350, it doesn’t spatter at all, and there’s hardly even any aroma. Browns nicely. Of course you want to use a hot mitt to get the skillet out, and you might want to be careful bending over the open over door …

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  2. Have you noticed the dent in that pan? It’s way out of round. He might be hiding from her because she’s brained him with it, the hot grease was just icing. But those sandals, yeah, he probably had it coming…

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  3. i learned not to judge one day at a ice cream shop. car pulls up, dude dressed about the same way with even gayer white sandals, geek to boot. four kids jump out, then ugly fat woman waddles out. i’m losing it, lol. just then a gorgeous, tall, tan brazilian beauty steps out wearing next to nothing and plants a wet, nearly pornographic kiss on him and gives his junk a squeeze with a grin. you just never know.

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  4. Never wear sandals in the kitchen. Drop knife. Sever tendon. Public service announcement from someone who has first-hand experience.

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  5. Cooking is not a spectator sport.

    I am tempted to need something in the freezer… requiring several assertive swings of the fridge door… no…wait…was it in the pantry behind him?

    Yep, definitely the pantry.

    This game is called ‘you no cook, you no eat’.

    Like

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