I would say it can’t get here soon enough but a quick tour of the back and side yards has shown me that there is a metric SHIT TON of back breaking work that needs to be done around here.
Holy Shit I’m not even kidding.
Dead tree branches EVERYWHERE.
Freaking moss growing on everything, AT LEAST another truck load of dead leaves and I haven’t even looked real hard at the weeds.
I don’t want to because it’s a race to see which one takes over completely, the moss or the weeds.
The back deck looks like a living organism.
In case you think I’m exaggerating, I just had The Kid help me drag the patio furniture, BBQ and other shit off of it so I can start in.
I’m going to have to sweep the big stuff off, pressure wash the shit out of it and put some kind of preservative on it.
A little update,
Oof. It was way worse than I thought, especially over in that far corner.
The moss was horrible.
It took me 3 1/2 hours to do the whole thing.
I gotta say though, that little Horror Fright pressure washer is worth every penny. It’s like the Energizer Bunny. I have used the shit out of it, friends and relatives have also used the shit out of it over the last 3 years. The one legit bitch I have bout it is the pressure hose is a POS, too short, Hard plastic with Push On fittings thing, it tends to kink when it gets wound up and once it’s kinked it stays that way.
That and they didn’t put any way to attach the spray gun when you put it away. Other than that it’s totally worth the $80 I spent on it.
Then there is the gate that fell over because the fence post rotted off at ground level.
Normally I would yell at the rental management outfit to have that fixed but I already see the kind of quality that results in and fuck that. I want a real gate there.
They dig a hole, drop a little 4X4 in it, fill it with concrete and then hang some flimsy collection of nails and questionable boards off of the cheapest hinges they can dig out of the bargain bin. Looks great from thirty feet away and drags on the ground, won’t close right and starts falling apart before they get their tools packed up.
First I’m going to have to dig around and yank the old concrete and broken off post out and OF COURSE it’s right fucking next to the outside wall of the garage and just for added bonus points, the utilities go right through there in the middle underneath.
I’m going to have to have a Locate service come mark everything so I don’t wind up with a nasty surprise.
Then I’m either going to bolt four 4X4’s together or try and find a Rail Road Tie to hang a gate that a full grown man can hang off of. It’s half of the full gate and the other side looks like a prop out of a horror movie but it hasn’t fallen down yet.
All this on top of the ten thousand other things I have to do.
The front yard is only marginally better but at least there aren’t dead tree branches everywhere. Just under those damn Magnolia trees.
The moss didn’t miss a trick though, nor the weeds.
Last year I used four gallons of weed killer, at $30 a gallon and it didn’t touch them. This year, Daddy is done fucking around.
Bring on the Flammenwurfer bitches.
That’s right kiddies, Daddy is going full on Scorched Earth on those fucking weeds.
I’m gonna strap the tank to a hand cart and go to fucking town.
The whole back yard is basically gravel with grass and weeds covering it and the front yard on both sides has huge swaths of river rock that the weeds grow up through.
They gonna be crispy critters this time.
The Wifely Unit is going to shit little golden apples when I drag that baby out.
Sometimes it’s good to be a man.
I’m going to especially enjoy those particular sandwiches.