15 thoughts on “Seriously

  1. What then if I use my feet for the beating?

    Melody from Camp Town Races

    I beat my meat on the toilet seat, do da, do da
    I beat my meat on the toilet seat all the live long day, do da, do da

    When I get I tired I use my feet, all the live long day, do da…

    etc….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reminds me of a sign a guy had on his tool box.
    There are a few things we hold dear in this life
    The tools of the trade and the sweet little wife.
    So don’t ask to borrow my tools and I won’t ask to borrow your wife.

    Liked by 2 people

    • My dad, when I told him the lawn mower was broke: “There’s the tools. Make sure everything is where you found it, and cleaner than when I bought it”. He didn’t tell me how to rebuild a Briggs – he just said “Do it. You’ll figure it out”.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Nothing in this world lights me up hotter than my tools going missing. And it’s not them men around here that do it. I treated myself to a new screwdriver set, only to see one of them a day later sitting on the fireplace. I even installed a pegboard with cheaper tools as sort of a sacrificial anode to keep them from my box. Doesn’t work.

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  4. No. Because the first person it would bite is me.

    My tiered system works at some level. I didn’t mention the top level, which is the tool kit in my car, and my tool case for work. Those are the holy of holies that even the wife knows not to touch.

    I also am my own worst enemy. I’ll lose shit while I’m using it. At one point, while installing my car port, I lost track of not one, but two center punches. My old man had the same issue. I got tired of him bitching about me “losing” his tools and bought my own, slowly. My last act of defiance was to recover all his tools (He didn’t have many), and return them to where they belonged, whether I used them or not. For the record, when he’d ask where this or that tool was, I knew because I noticed it being where it wasn’t supposed to be – like on the kitchen windowsill.

    Sometime later, I’m watching TV in the kitchen, and he blasts in –
    “HEY!, where are my goddam channelocks”

    I don’t know. Where’d you put them?

    “WHAT!”

    Where’d you put them? I didn’t use them. I have two in my toolbox if you need to borrow a set though. For some reason I can’t fathom, I left my toolbox at his house. Probably because that’s where I’d fix my cars. More than likely I had sold my truck and had nowhere else to put them.

    Between him and my brother ‘borrowing’, the kit was a mess. Took forever to collect my stuff.

    BTW, in this house first aid items work the same way. I find myself going to my shop or my car when I need a bandaid because the wife cant’ seem to put things back where they belong.

    Liked by 1 person

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