Boy howdy do I know the absolute bliss of finding the perfect spot to scratch the itch between my shoulder blades that I can’t reach!

Boy howdy do I know the absolute bliss of finding the perfect spot to scratch the itch between my shoulder blades that I can’t reach!
I do that but in the front….look for knot holes too.
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What the hell is wrong with you ‼️
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I am strange…. A fucking redneck, don’t rednecks do that?
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Look, if I’m walking through the woods and see a fat guy forking a knot hole in a tree the first thing I’m going to do is look around for the movie cameras because the only logical explanation would be they’re doing a remake of that horror movie, Deliverance.
Now if I don’t see any cameras and a studio setup, Ima gonna shot that stupid tree humper and go home and make a samich.
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How do you know I am fat? I could be water dousing or honey probing… legitimate reasons all.
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Death, if I can’t make fun of me, even if it is off and sounds perverted, then I truly can not make fun of you and them. I have to get just as well as give as the best of them. To me that is fair. If it makes you cringe and say WTF? That is on you, not my problem. If you think I am nuts, or a perverted asswipe, oh well, I have been called worse and better. I know who I am.
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Okay buddy
There’s enough miles between us that if you wanna go do weird things to Mother Nature, you are free to do so.
As for me, now I just have something else to keep a eye out for in the woods.
For all I know you might have some tree humping group going on out there.
I’ll be looking for some sick secret society tree forkers everywhere.
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Make sure you check knotholes for bees first
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Line the holes with liver so they are smooth.
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Pasta Spoons are the best back scratchers going ……………..
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