Everybody is whining and sniveling about how their Christmas is ruined this year and I am just happier than shit with it!
I didn’t have to go fuck around getting a damn Christmas tree and drag it in the house.
I didn’t have to spend twenty minutes trying to get it mounted, level and turned just so to make the Wifely Unit happy either.
She finally got wise last year and went and bought one of these things.
Works for me!
No more Pine needles all over the damn place, cats knocking the decorations off, no watering, no trimming, no decorating.
Just take it out of the box, slap it on the table and plug it in.
I like it.
I don’t have to go to the Fucking Mall this year either.
I hate that sonofabitch with the heat of a thousand suns.
The only person I have to get any gifts for is the Wifely Unit and she ain’t got the Christmas Spirit for fuck all this year either.
She just wants some Bailey’s for her coffee and a bunch of candy.
I ordered a couple different flavors of the Baileys she wanted and a bunch of the fancy chocolate/ salted caramel shit she wanted earlier this month and it’s already out in the garage.
She did want some Pumpkin Spice flavored Baileys too. I spent two hours scouring the internet for some of that shit, finally found someone that said they had it and ordered a bottle.
I got a confirmation and the next day I got a tracking number.
Two days later I got an Email telling me they were refunding my money with no explanation why.
Because Fuck Me, that’s why.
The stuff is unobtanium I guess.
So I am just going to throw some cash in an envelope and Merry Fucking Christmas honey.
I didn’t have to fuck with any Christmas lights this year either although there was someone who had inspired me and I was actually kind of looking forward to that.
Unfortunately The Wifely Unit put the Kibosh to that shit before I could even drag the box of lights out.
I don’t have to drive all over creation this year to multiple family Christmas parties and deal with that bullshit either. That means I don’t have to buy a bunch of extra gifts either to go along with that.
My Mom is in poor health and has been in and out of the hospital down in Arizona because she just had to go down there again this year, against her doctors advice.
So I don’t have to go to her place either.
I don’t mess with sending Christmas cards out to begin with so that isn’t anything to worry about.
We aren’t having my kids over for our little Christmas party this year.
Everybody is scared shitless they are going to get The Rona so all of that kind of shit is out the window.
It’s looking like it’s going to be a pretty damn quiet Christmas around here. I still haven’t heard if we are going to the In Laws on Christmas Eve.
That is The Wifely Unit’s Families Big Deal every year. Both of them are pretty health fragile as it is, I can’t see them having a house full of people either.
We aren’t spending way too damn much money this year on top of it all.
I may just get lucky and avoid about 90% of the shit that irritates the daylights out of me every year at Christmas.
That would be awesome in my book.