32 thoughts on “The Gateway To Heaven

    • Camelto Harris campaigned as a “black American.” Once it was
      discovered that she came from Indian and white slave-owning
      Caribean stock, Shazam, she was no longer black! Once the
      media proclaimed that the Biden/Harris ticket won, she was
      black again.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Schizoid Affective maybe, or, Bi-Polar thinking and you are in a maniac phase when opening your mouth or typing… That, I would buy. An extreme warped sense of humour with macabre underpinnings.

      Like

      • I worked in a nuthouse and was reading college-level psychology
        textbooks at age 14 in my spare time along with back issues of
        the Scientific American back to the early 20th century. The stories
        I could tell you about life in a nuthouse would blow your mind!

        Like

        • Actually we could swap stories. My first seven years as a nurse was in a psychiatric ward in a local Portland, Oregon hospital, during the same time I worked there, I worked on-call staff at the Oregon State Penitentiary, Behavioral Unit. Which was were the state incarcerated their homicidal maniacs, criminal schizophrenics, and others of mental illnesses that landed them in prison. So yes, lets gross out and confound all of Phil’s loyal and not so loyal blog buddies…

          Like

          • I once had a psych nurse tell me that there was only one sure way to tell staff from patients in a nuthouse. When I asked what that was, she rattled a ring of keys.

            Like

              • Ya know, I really can’t wait to meet you now so I can watch you quietly diagnosing all of my mental problems out of the corner of my eye.
                We both know that is exactly what you are going to do too.
                LMFAO!

                Like

                • Phil you don’t know how true that is, I am talking with people and I am diagnosing their mental and physical state. Sometimes I wonder why someone hasn’t hit them with a shovel yet… When I visited my brother a couple of years ago , stopped talking and looked at me funny, then said you are assessing and figuring out which mental illness I have aren’t you! If I keep talking with you and don’t walk away, you are okay, every body has some kind of tick or mental defect, I am only interested if you are unique and different…

                  Like

              • My mother worked on the day shift and I worked on the graveyard
                shift while working another full-time job as a swing shift restaurant
                cook for 2 years. There was a severely retarded paranoid guy
                named Ronald. My mom bought him toys from a local thrift
                shop. He adored her. One day he went off on two orderlies.
                He punched his solid hardwood that was supposed to with-
                sand a raging fire long enough to evacuate patients evacuate
                patients through the window.

                He cracked the fucking door! One of the orderlies had been
                studying karate for 2 years and said, “Damn, even I could
                not do that.” One day, he burst out of his room and told
                me, “I’m gonna kill you!” I backed up to the rail on the
                opposite side of the hall. I balled up my fist and was
                about to go for a throat shot. He took one look in my
                eyes and went back to his room.

                Another patient did the same with the other orderly that
                was in Ronald’s rook. This time, it was a short, squat
                dude with the widest shoulders I ever say. He was 100
                percent pure muscle. He tells Tony, “I’m going to kick
                your ass. I beat the shit out of 5 orderlies at Riverside
                General.” Tony said, “I’m not one of those pussies
                RGH.”

                When dealing with people like this, it is all about the attitude!

                Liked by 1 person

                • Yup! attitude, if ya don’t have it, ya better get some soon, crazy people are master manipulators and will steam roll over you in a heartbeat and leave you bruised and hurt. I had my nose broke, and a split upper lip caused by a 92 year old woman that weighed all of 80 pounds… I had a frail old man zonked out on meds his doc gave him and threw me off of him (I weighed 200#) and had broke 3 carpel bones in my left hand on a door knob and it swelled larger then a football. So yeah, when a crazy person tells you they can kick your ass, believe them.

                  Like

                  • I had a good friend who worked in ER as an EMT. He’d worked at Napa State for twelve years, and whenever the docs had a combative patient, they’d call for him. He was full blood Cherokee, built like a pro linebacker, and his technique was amazing to watch. He walk right up next to the nutjob, look down and growl: “It’s gonna be all right. You’re a little bit crazy right now, but it’s going to be OK.” They’d look at this monstrous guy leaning over top of them and just stop moving.

                    Liked by 1 person

  1. One night working in Portland on a general psych unit the acute unit got a police admit, it seems a Tight End for the local Portland State Uni was out drinking with his buds and his girlfriend had just broke up with him. Well he states to his amigos I just gonna jump off the top of Hawthorne Bridge.. and started walking toward it, his buds panicked and called the police, they catch him, with a fight, big dude… because of his suicide declaration they bring him to us, Portland’s primary nut house. I get called in to the acute unit cuz’ the guy is threatening the female nurses and while he was still in cuffs and a single restraint to the cuffs. I go in and assess him, now, I am 200 # and an old farm boy, I wrestled pigs and calves bigger then him. He especially threatening me. I wait until the cop and other nurses are gone, I looked him in the eye and told him flat, yes, as big as you are your gonna hurt us, but, I will get as many other nurses, security, janitorial staff and yes, more cops under our direction and we will pig pile you until you are down. Now, we are nurses, we know where all the vital pressure points and pathways are, we will hurt you, you will never, ever play football, in fact you will end up drooling and shitting yourself for the rest of your life. We will bring potent meds in, now we don’t bring one in, several of us bring in, so one of us will score, your case all of us will score. You think your brain is fried now… He thought about well, he was a cooperative and sterling patient his entire time. I was called in a day or two and they wanted to know what was said when I was alone with him as there was cameras, but no audio, I smiled and said I asked him about his playing…

    Like

    • If you can exactly nail down his motivation, and play to that, it’s simply amazing how you can control/mollify the crazy and/or drunk person.
      Treat ’em as a person, but let ’em know in no uncertain terms that This Will NOT Go Well For You.

      I know, I know, preaching to the choir!

      Like

        • Tony, the tall and lanky orderly was standing outside the doorway
          to the dining room ushering the patients in. A short fat paranoid
          chick kicked him in the nuts and shoved him to the floor. She
          said, “don’t ever call me a bitch again!.” He said nothing to her.
          Tony went to management and said, “you’re not paying me
          enough for this shit.” They gave him a raise and promoted
          him to chief orderly. It was spontaneous shit like this that
          I feared the most!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Leonard, it’s a bit late for you, but any younger blokes can just order themselves a cricketers’ box. Well shaped to protect the meat and two vege, it merely slips down the front of your trou. As ballistic protection for the gonads against impact by a hard-driven cricket ball, it should protect well against kicks too. The US may not be a cricketing nation, but surely they are available online or at a comprehensively stocked sports store.

    Like

  3. How the hell did this go down a psycho ward how to? We were discussing the merits of split tail scandawhovians. Now going to the “U” in Mpls, we had a plethora of blonds, near blond, dish water and dirty. All fun till the vodka wears off. They also tended to barbell the bra size chart, either board flat or Holstein. One other thing, they usually had brothers who could bench press a Buick so you had to be nice to ’em till they broke up with you. Ah, good times.

    Spin

    Like

    • Bitches be crazy, especially blonde ones… kinda sounds like ya don’t get on here much, us crazy old farts tend to wander off subject, talk about our glory days and try to be the best pain in the ass old shits we can be. Senility works for us, the Sons of Ibuprofen.

      Like

  4. Why do I think of strawberrys when I see a cute one covered in Blondinium? Especially the ones with “peaches and cream” complexion like the the ones I saw in Farmington. I seem to have a food fetish!

    Like

Pansies, Trolls and Liberals are urged to flee this place.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s