Filed Under Easily Solved Problems

The back bumper is already on the ground, just fucking gas it.

The loose ones on top will slide off and there ya go.

The logs laying in the middle of the road are someone elses problem at that point.


13 thoughts on “Filed Under Easily Solved Problems

  1. Back when I worked for a Millwright service the company had a big heavy duty
    flatbed Ford with hoop-shaped I-beam hoist. Two heavy ass vertical motors
    were loaded on it. The delivery driver came back and said “fuck this shit.”
    I volunteered to deliver them to an oil lease. The front wheels were so light
    the truck was doing the Cha-Cha. It was one of the only times I came close
    to shitting my pants on the job!


  2. Leonard, why do trucks, 4WDs and full size pickups in the US not have real* bull-bars fitted? I mean steel or alloy ones, the sort that will protect you if you nail a full-grown steer, divert it away from the cabin completely. Strewth, if you leave towns in Aussie, people generally have polycarbonate ‘roo-bars on cars and utes (like Phil’s Gay Cabalerro). *look up Aussie bull-bars on the net, they often carry full-size winches applicable for the job, even hauling semis up a greasy dirt track. Smaller rigs often have vices or rocket-launchers mounted. If the front wheels lift when you first head off on a bush trip (from all the ammo, fuel, grog and ammo in the back), leaving air-flow to the radiator, just tie some bags of spuds, pumpkins and onions (hard produce) onto the bull-bar to give to the station people of the property, where you’re hunting and fishing on. They all really appreciate the thought!


  3. Cuz we don’t have ‘Roos! Most Western states do not have “Free Range” anymore, only state I know is Alabama and Montana that has some areas Free Range, meaning no fences. I have a grill guard and a single bull/push bar on my truck due to deer.


        • Cut the Aussie some slack because they stood tall with us in
          hell for 100+ years. The Pommies took a pass in the Vietnam
          War but the Diggers were with us. We take our independence
          seriously. They have suffered from decades of liberal governance
          that can punish them for not wearing a mask or posting thought
          crimes on the Internet. At one time, they were just like us.


    • Quite a few areas of free range ranching here in the Oregon Outback. And our ranchers favor Black Angus–those coal black bastards are invisible at night! Worse are the idiot deer. I was hit last spring by a fourpoint buck–ran right into me at highway speed, pasted his head on the right rear view mirror, and his carcass caved in both right side doors (F250) at 10:00 am. He was dead before he landed. If I’d hit the brakes he’d have been through my grill and windshield. As it was, it was almost $5 grand at the body shop, fortunately all covered except a $100 deductible.


  4. Cedreq, um, what about moose and elk, or do you just cook them on your grill, after you hit them at highway speed? Or have to winch yourself up a greasy incline that would rip a factory tow-hook off the chassis-rail extension? I thought you went bush camping on holidays, is it to the Disneyland carpark, where you can also pet the ‘gators? I’ve seen Yank nudge-bars and grills, and a photo of your rig that Phil posted, more like a possum-bar! Or gay rainbow Pantifag-bar, more like. I think the Jewtube channel is called Aussie Dashcams (from the depths of my oldtimers memory), check out ‘truck and car collision’ (I think). An Aussie truckie would just drive straight through the middle of a rig like yours if you pull across the road, his cold-rolled and welded steel bars protecting him, or her. Anything they filmed in Mad Max was for city driving! Look-up ‘bull-catcher’, they are soft-top SWB Tojos with a mechanical arm on the side to grab wild scrub bulls. For when the head stockman can’t gee-up a young ringer to jump off the bull-bar to toss the bulls. If I ever come back over there, I’ll bring some eastern-grey or red ‘roo joeys to release. They’d disembowel coyotes with one kick, maybe evade wolves, you and Leonard will have to learn to drive with good reflexes then! I hate those grasshoppers, just destroy cars, or eviscerate the front seat occupants.


    • John, my possum bar is pretty stout, I hit a 1000 pound elk doe and it didn’t bend one thing. The picture doesn’t do it justice, I’ll have to snap another pic and show ya. I looked at the post where it had my trailers and it really didn’t show the front end. Ya gotta admit we ain’t chasing down water buffalo and running over them to pin em like you crazy Aussie do with them little pick ups and SUVs with all the cages welded on to them…


  5. Me and a mate were delivering a Tojo Land Cruiser dropside ute to Burketown, out in the Gulf of Carpentaria one night, in the Gulf Savannah. I checked that he wasn’t too tired while driving? He was doing 50mph, which was a bit fast in the dark, but we’d been held up with a Holden 308c.i. donk not drinking petrol too good. Then I yelled “Look out for that boar!” He goes “Yeah, where?” “In the middle of the fuc*en road!” The bastard was level with the bonnet, and by the look had never seen a car before, we nailed him dead centre too, BOONG!, went the bull-bar (no racist jokes, Leonard!). It flung him in a big cloud of dust, arse over tit, rolling up the road, then BANG, WALLOP, CRUNCH, BANG again as we run over the top of the bugger! When we stopped, I hopped out ‘cos I reckoned there’d be pork chops stuck in every bit of running gear under the old Tojo, the way we bounced and rocked over that pig. Well, I changed me mind quick and forgot me crook back as I boarded again right quick, the bastard pig is standing there amid the glow of tail lights in the dust following us, wondering what great big boar had challenged him by barreling him over! My mate goes “Did I hit sumting?”, while I’m waiting for him to clear his rifle out to shoot the bloody thing! Well lucky for him, ‘cos I’m about to feed him to the boar, the pig gave a Huff!, and wandered off into the dark, which was black as one of Leonard’s mates’ arse. No grunts, grumbles, squeals or complaints! Strewth, a man would be banged up bad, dead, but I looked around hard with a torch and not a skerrick of blood trail, yet he’d stopped the Tojo solid. We carefully inspected the underguts of that ute, nothing was buckled, but there were razorback bristles in a few nooks. I hopped into the driver’s seat and continued to the Burketown Pub at a lesser rate! *for Mr egorr.


    • I appreciate the courtesy, John-o…
      He’s a big pig, YOU can be a big pig toooooooooo……….
      Pity you couldn’t get time for a good shot, but the meat would’ve been tough even after you tenderized it with the boar bar and subsequent speed bump treatment!


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