The nightmare continues but I get a much needed reprieve in a very unexpected way.
I went over to the In Laws yet again this morning to try and get Dad’s Chevy Tahoe through the emissions test at DEQ, my third attempt.
Wonder of wonders, we did, actually, get there!
It failed miserably.
About two miles from our destination the damn Check Engine light came on.
You can probably imagine my reaction to that.
I had my code reader so I cleared it.
This is the third time, it’s a Bank 2 catalytic converter not operating correctly code or something very similar.
We get down there and the chatty fellow hooks it all up and I got to pay and he says not so fast.
Something about clearing that code also wipes out the computers memory of what is called a “Drive Cycle”.
The engine has to start cold, you have to let it warm up with the defrosters and everything on to put a load on the electric system, then you have to take it out and get it up to 55 miles an hour at 1/2 throttle, drive 3 miles, coast down to 20 mph without hitting the brakes, get it back up to 55 at 3/4’s throttle and drive it 5 miles and who fucking knows what all.
Since it was less than an hour before they closed the chances of getting the engine cooled down to ambient temp and then getting all that hokey fucking bullshit done was zero.
Called the Wifely Unit, listened to a bunch of griping and complaining, pretty much had all of that that I was going to put up with and told her where the bear shits in the woods and then took the rig and the old guy home to listen to his wife piss moan and complain about throwing money away on a piece of garbage.
Using every ounce of what little self control I can still muster, I explained to her that this vehicle has had zero maintenance done on it for the last several years and that part of the problem is that the old guy only putts around town at 25-30 miles an hour and never gets more than three miles from the house.
The brakes were overdue and the radiator was obviously also overdue and that under normal circumstances, most people don’t have to cough up money for these items back to back when they keep their vehicles somewhat maintained.
I am doing everything I can to get this thing through the emissions test, in my “spare time” but I do not have a magic wand.
Trust me when I say she could tell that I was right on the ragged edge of my ability to contain my own frustrations.
She calmed right down at that point. They are both very grateful and I know that. It is very stressful to them and I know that also but taking pot shots at the messenger will result in a barrage of HE Incoming your way in a hurry at this point.
People have a very strange habit of trying to find someplace else to be when I get pissed off and start ranting because the more I rant, the more it feeds on its self and in no time flat I have this look on my face like I am going to fucking kill you at any moment.
So everyone cooled off a bit and just before I was getting ready to leave a thought came to me.
Being the life long rule breaker and law skirter than I am, I’m actually surprised it took me so long to think of it because I have done this for myself in the past.
All of this hullabaloo about getting this rig through DEQ is because the tags are now expired so he can’t drive it legally and they need someone who can run up to the store etc.
I told her to go down to the nearest DMV office and get a temporary trip permit.
This of course was responded to by the question of how they were supposed to get there if they couldn’t drive legally.
Me being the brilliant motherfucker that I am, promptly threw my wife under that speeding bus.
A very rare Twofer gentlemen.
Having solved my immediate problems I left and came home.
When I got back here I didn’t even say anything to the Wifely Unit, she was absorbed in her usual television watching activities.
To head off any questions I immediately sat down here and Googled Oregon DMV Trip Permits.
This is where I struck Gold.
With this Kung Flu bullshit going on, you have to make an appointment to get in to see someone at the DMV.
Then I saw it right there on the DMV website.
Let it be known to all far and wide that I found something that I think that Commie Bitch Governor Kate Brown actually did right.
In one of her Royal Decree’s, she actually made it illegal for an Oregon Police Officer to give you a ticket for driving around with an expired drivers license or expired registration until Dec 21st, 2020.
For the win gentlemen!
I copy pasted two links and the texts to this and Emailed it to The Wifely Unit.
She read it and came to the same conclusion I did.
I told her to call her Mom and tell Daddy that he can drive that fucking Yukon wherever the hell he wants to and this gives me a break so that I can go over there later to see about this “Drive Cycle” bullshit at my leisure.
In other words, I need to go over there and just drive that fucker like I stole it to try and get that exhaust cleaned out so that code goes away, then take it down to get it tested after I am certain that fucking Check Engine light isn’t going to come back on or if it does, see what that is going to take to fix.
This is awesome news because I have to work next Saturday and won’t be available for these kinds of games.
Se yes, even though it failed, I get a win or at least a reprieve.
This is a very good thing because I am about done taking shit for something that isn’t supposed to be my responsibility in the first place and have been doing everything in my power to take care of anyway.