20 thoughts on “Pissed Clear The Fuck Off

  1. I never even tried to wash my semi-feral Tomcat. I like my blood right where it
    is, in my veins! A cat is fastidiously clean and washing them is unnecessary.


  2. Oh yeah, Murder Kitteh is present and accounted for. It will definitely crap in your shoe when given 1st opportunity.

    Have an older cat who got an urinary infection and began pissing all over herself, no time to get to cat box. I had to clean her in the sink, and was ready for a fight. Pro-Tip – warm the water up before using it on the cat. A little soft soap to shampoo also doesn’t hurt.

    She struggled a little bit at the beginning, but I think realized I was taking off gunk that needed to go. She seemed happier after I dried her off with a towel and let her finish her grooming. Definitely happier afterward.

    I don’t make a habit of cleaning our cats, but this time, she gave me a pass.


  3. Pro Tips on how to wash a pussy:

    1) Ya gotta catch the pussy, use bright sparkly things to get their attention and grab em quick.

    2) Set the ambience to soothing tunes, takes the bite out of ’em.

    3) Set the water temp to slightly warm, not cold or cool, if they’re purring you got it right.

    4) Get a window screen and put ’em on all fours on it. The claws will grip the screen and not back out. This is important as your life depends on it.

    5) Lower pussy into bath and apply baby shampoo and scrub all over. Stay away from the head, that part bites.

    6) Rinse twice to get all the foam off. This might get a little sporty.

    7) Take pussy on window screen and throw ’em out front door.

    8) Do all the above wearing long cuff welding gloves, welding apron, jacket and full face mask.


    They call me the Pussy Whisperer.


  4. Mr. Pussy is NOT happy! Wet and cold. Probably not used to it.

    Wife Unit and I have had occasion to wash critters before, and keeping the water temp to about 90 degrees F is conducive to the wash cycle – they don’t seem to mind *nearly* as much. Also, don’t “caputure” the critter, let them have the forepaws on the sink/laundry tub edge so they “have an escape”, Wash, as was mentioned, with a VERY mild soap (baby shampoo is quite adequate), and do a really really good rinse because hte cat is going to lick itself clean and dry no matter how good a job you do. Towel dry gently, let the cat loose and let the cat do the rest.
    Use lots of bandages to stop your bleeding. If you do it right, this will be minimal.
    (Suuuuuuure, minimal…)


  5. Put some shampoo in toilet. Drop cat into toilet and slam the lid shut.
    Hold lid down as if your life depends on it. It does
    Flush twice
    Try to exit bathroom and shut door before cat gets out


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