Which Way Is Up?

It’s 10:19 P.M. and I just got home.

I have been up since 5:30 this morning. After I busted my ass at work for 8 hours, I had to go to my Mom’s to try and figure out what was wrong with this 4 foot long , wooden box surrounded florescent light fixture over the kitchen island and stove after her boyfriend broke it trying to change a tube in it.

This turned into an absolute SHIT SHOW because the fixture has some weird connectors on it I couldn’t find and I wound up trying to retro fit a new LED unit inside this wooden surround that looks like an upside down planter made out of crown molding.

The wooden box doesn’t actually attach to the ceiling. The light fixture is screwed to it from the inside and then the fixture was scabbed to the ceiling with one moly bolt and one wood screw into a celing joist.

Six and a half hours, two trips to Lowes, two trips to the house for tools and we were just getting ready to try and get it hung by these plastic zip tie type moly bolts the guy at Lowes talked us into trying when it all went to shit.

It takes two guys on ladders to even hold the thing up.

“They hold up 265 pounds apiece”. he says

The fuck they do, I broke two of the sonsabitches just trying to get them shoved into the hole!

The fucking plastic is rotten and brittle.

So now I get to go back over there and do battle with that rotten prick Murphy again tomorrow.

AFTER, I get up and drive 35 miles to my Father In Law’s and take his rig to DEQ like I tried to do LAST weekend, except I wound up putting a radiator in it instead.

Oh, and just for shits and giggles, about ten minutes before I left work today I was standing in the shop shooting the shit with a buddy of mine when all of a sudden out of the blue my left side right about the bottom of my rib case started itching like a motherfucker..

It was one of those things that had been bugging me a little but I wasn’t paying much attention to. When I started scratching the itch it hurt like a bastard.

I scratched it just a bit more and it felt like I had a boil or something on my side.

I took my coveralls off and yanked my shirt up to find a bunch of red blotches kind of in a line about four inches long. I showed my boss and he said it looked like something bit me.

I looked a little closer and had another opinion.This didn’t look like a bite to me.

I got to my Mom’s and showed her and she said exactly what I was thinking. She was a nurse for a long time too.

On top of all of the bullshit, it looks like I have a case of Shingles.

It has since started spreading to my belly and around to my back.

Because that isn’t enough fun, for this whole week I have had a hell of a time getting any sleep because the minute I lay down, an old case of Diverticulitis has been kicking up and it feels like a hot poker is jabbing me in the guts on one side. I’ll let you guess which side that would be. Here’s a hint, it’s the one with the red, blotchy and itchy spots on it now.

I’m fine all day until the minute I lay down. Then it’s hard to get to sleep and it wakes me up with excruciating pain several times in the night.

So on top of it all, I am fucking exhausted from no sleep.

As fucked up as it all is, I am still a lucky bastard compared to people with real problems so I have been trying to keep the sniveling down but damn, I could use a bit of a break from some of this crap.

So now that I have basically put in a 16 or 17 hour day, I get to look forward to trying to fall down and get some sleep, except for that whole knife in the guts thing. And the itching.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day tomorrow too.

Yay.

26 thoughts on “Which Way Is Up?

  1. Well Fuck Phil, if ya didn’t have bad luck you wouldn’t have any luck at all. I think it is Cancer, classic signs… old, grouchy, can’t sleep, can’t shit, can’t piss, wake all night, yup CA. I have to give mom lots of credit, my first thought, the dreaded shingles. All you need right now in your cheery and rainbow infused shit-show life. They can be a painful, fucking shit of itching and pain. You have been like a lot of us under increased stress and aggravation with work, family the demo’s shit show and civil war talk. Fucks to be you, me, egorr, Aussie, Samoore, Irish, Big, Grog, Greg, and all the other righteous boys out there.

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      • Thanks for remembering me buddy
        But, please don’t throw me on that steaming pile.
        I’ve a rather peaceful existence and must say that I like it.

        I’ve lived in that rat race and between owning a small business and trying to function as a peace officer I don’t miss any of it.

        I feel for everything Phil is going through. Except for the shingles pretty much been there and done that.

        Now I’m going to go check myself in the mirror for blotchy red blisters.

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  2. Shingles. Not fun. Had them on my head a couple years back. Couldn’t sleep at all, felt like getting stabbed in the head with an icepick. Then the wife (how she puts up with my shit I’ll never know) got some ointment with cbd and thc. Took the edge off the pain enough that I could get a few hours sleep. Not sure if it would make you flunk a piss-test or not…

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  3. Use toggle bolts to hang the fixture. Zipits have a shear rating of 265lbs but that is hanging something on the wall, not the ceiling

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  4. I’m not righteous, just a broken down cranky old fart, but don’t even have a Garand like Clint’s to say “get off my lawn” with. Bad news to get stressed enough for the pox virus to come back as Shingles, Phil. I hope you deal with it okay. Try eating Vegemite to kill it, the health benefits are real. You may not become an addict like the rest of us, but your missus will appreciate the new virile man in her bed.

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  5. I got propositioned last night when leaving the local IGA with groceries! It’s finally reached my price range with “$20 for a head job?” (blow job for Yanks). But I think even Deathray, at the end of a snowed-in winter with cabin fever, would have wanted her to pay him rather than be a customer, then been unable to perform through sheer disgust! Some things a mountain man just won’t do, me either, so I declined the (presumed) addict’s offer, went past her to my car and left. So Deathray, you and I may have some standards, but I suspect that Cederq would have been still there arguing over the exchange rate for his greenbacks!

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    • Aussie, you have it backassward, she wanted you to give her $20AD for you to give her head. She wanted her hootchie-coochie cleansed when she had to go out that night to earn the real bucks, she has her standards… Not me arguing with your girlfriends over my worthless greenbacks, in fact you wouldn’t find me in Aussie land, nothing there worth seeing as far as I can tell.

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  6. Phil, so sorry. Hope you slept a little. It’s now five am in the Bay Area and we are hoping you have a somewhat restful weekend.

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  7. I had a mild case of shingles a couple of years ago but my wife is the champ. Hers was at and inside her vagina and it was awful. It took a while to be diagnosed. I guess doctors just didn’t see much of it. Our doctor at the time thought it was genital Herpes, well it is Herpes, just a different one. He told her, Harry’s a nice guy. He’ll understand. We never saw him again. Too bad, we were both computer geeks. My wife and I are now getting the shots so we don’t have it again.

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  8. Shingles: try hydrocortisone cream, OTC at first, if that don’t work you can probably get a stronger steroid cream scrip from a doc in a box. Diverticulitis: try Miramax and Metamucil., works a treat for me. Next is Ciprofloxacin and Flagil. . With that don’t get more than fifty feet from the throne.

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    • Ask for Triamcinolone cream. Much stronger than OTC stuff and used for all sorts of conditions. I’ve used it for years for a nagging eczema problem. I use it as sparingly as possible because it is a steroid, but also because I’m a cheap bastard and want it to go as far as possible.
      Our vet even used an injectable form for our dog’s chronic itching, and it worked wonders though it only lasted about 30 days.
      Our best wishes to resolve the problem cascade, just focus on the physical first and let the rest stew in their own juices. Good luck Phil.

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  9. Be careful Phil! When I was young, high 80 to low 90 hours a week was
    no sweat, but in my 60s, it took a heavy toll.

    My Shits Fucked Up by Warren Zevon:

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    • Thanks Leonard, that’s a choice pick. I have his wife’s biography of Warren, titled: I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon. He certainly kept some interesting company.

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  10. I had shingles in ’94 when I was 38. My doc wouldn’t even touch it, and sent me to a dermatologist buddy of his. He gave me Zovirax.
    Yup, I was miserable for 10 days, but kept going to work.
    Yep, sleeping was difficult, and my wife was pregnant with our first at that time too.
    The Zovirax knocked it out, or maybe it just ran its course, dunno.
    Supposedly, you can only get them once.
    Fuck the shingles vaccine too.
    Anyone who has had chicken pox has the shingles virus in them. What triggers it, they don’t know.
    Hang tough, Phil. You’ll get through it.

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  11. You don’t have my permission to have this happen to you, so cut it out already! I’ve been snake bit all year, don’t go and try and outdo me.

    Seriously, I’m praying for you brother….

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  12. Cedrex, greenbacks may be worthless, but they’re still higher in value than the Pacific peso, otherwise known as the Aussie dollar. I can remember when it was the other way around! You blokes should be more careful with your colony in the southern hemisphere, the Chicoms have nearly taken Australia off you.

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  13. Katherin had a bout of that and the drugs the dr prescribed helped a lot sorry to hear this get well soon it took katherin about 4 weeks before she was close to normal

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