My buddy Leonard strikes again. He left this the comments from another post and it’s too good to pass up.
If you have ever turned wrenches, you will be nodding your head in agreement.
Myself, being raised by a Heavy Equipment Operator who was in the Navy and had a whole bunch of friends that were Iron Workers, Teamsters, Pile Bucks and other operators, could cuss a blue streak almost before I could walk.
I have gotten so mad before that I have literally invented new phrases on the spot spontaneously.
I think I was 28 before I realized you goddamn fucking sun of a bitch wasn’t polite to say when not working on a car.
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Every boy who held something for his Dad to work on has heard this. I helped my tool-and-die maker Dad with some home repairs that weren’t tool and die stuff, like dishwashers that had been below freezing without being properly drained, heat pumps that quit working, fixing a broken electric clothes dryer (that was a bad one) and the worst was replacing light bulbs in a hanging wagon wheel chandelier light out in space between two floors where you had to use 3 arms while hanging off the side of a ladder. That last one was so bad our (guard) dog ran and hid until after we were done.
Joining the Navy later in life was a step down in the profanity level.
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Ah, but the Navy has some pure artistes of the spoken word; Bosun’s Mates and Air Bosses come to mind.
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There is a special place in hell where those that designed that crap will “fix” it for all eternity.
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Yes there is and it is the 7 1/2 level of Hell and there is no escalator…
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Oh and lets not forget the asshats that write the assembly instructions on the things we buy. I want to choke em‼️
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Especially Chinese interpreted to Swahili then cross interpreted to Hopi then re-translated to pidgin englrish which is printed out on the instructions.
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When I was a very little girl (and yes, that was more than 60 years ago), my dad was working on getting the gas tank back into his 1937 LaSalle. The filler pipe was attached to the gas tank, so he wiggled that sucker around to get in place. So his 3 year old daughter (me) sees that he is having a difficult time of it.
I am told I said quite in earnest, “Why don’t you use some of your mad words, Daddy?” I guess he thought it was pretty funny.
As I now work on a 1993 Ford, I am familiar with the appropriate phrases and accompanying blood sacrifice.
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Ahh yes, the blood sacrifice.
The root cause of most cuss fests under the hood.
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If you ain’t drawing blood, you ain’t working on something mechanical!
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Or doing it right!
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BTDT, many a time i had to wash my hands to find out where i was bleeding from! I have also made more than a few other mechanics blush!!!
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My Grandpa, dad’s side had a 37 Lasalle, said it was the best damn car in the world and you could hear the cussing when they stopped building them them.
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I was a full-time restaurant cook at 17. My baby sister was about 4 years old.
Years earlier, my dad was an auto mechanic at a Shell station in La Puente
CA. It was one of those tin shed affairs with an attached office. There were
so many pockmarks on the back wall that looked like the dark side of the
moon. I asked one of my dad’s coworkers about it. He said “ask your father.
I learned how to cuss when I was still depositing yellow stains in my diapers.
Back to my baby sister. Every time she had a nightmare, I would wake up and
find her under my blanket. I figured it was time to break her of that habit. I
gently woke her up, pulled the covers over her head, and treated her to a
tomato sauce/Jalapeno/onion omelet fart. She started cussing like a drunken
sailor. You wouldn’t believe what came out of her mouth. Even though she
was my stepsister, she was a Jones!
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Stuff straight from „The Exorcist“…
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I used to be able to clear out four lanes a bowling alley with a
single walking fart. I could at one-time gag my whole family
after a Thanksgiving Dinner. I lost the magic as I got older!
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I thought you said at one time you are still depositing yellow stains in your adult diaper?
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ahhh yes.. the elusive 10mm. Goddamned fucking piece of equipment that usually ‘magically’ disappears when needed most…
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I think the tool makers just put that 10mm in there to fuck with us and make our lives more miserable!
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I drove Alfa’s in the 60’s. Seems like they were mostly assembled with 10mm’s (not to be confused with the Delta Elite) so I assembled just about every kind of 10mm wrench. Most of the sockets were lost fooling with an EGR valve on a four-cylinder S-10.
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My favorite phrase (I don’t usually swear) is, “Who designed this miserable piece of crap, somebody that was drunk? I could SPIT a better design than this!!”
Sometimes shortened to “…miserable piece of crap…!!!”
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You cuss egorr? Oh man are we in trouble! The pits below are gonna open up and spit fire, the heavens open up and pour forth an unquenchable deluge…
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Well, if the antifa punks and commies get washed away, that wouldn’t be completely terrible.
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To say nothing of the fucking bullshit asshats that required mercan mechanics buy and use 2 sets of tools, the mercan (inches) kind and the “you’re a peein” (metrik) kind, and then you got the fuking British that use their own metrics equivalent…. cockbites !
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Try the UK with three ,fukin three , metric , SAE ( american ) and whitworth ! plus the freakin knucklebustin star drive evil crap , who ever invented that needs tying down on a fireants nest next to a pond full of hungry skeeters , may their balls fester and their finger ends so they cant scratch them !
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Yup – spot on old boy. I own SAE, Metric and Whitworth as have worked on many Brit things going back to 1952 vintage. Let’s not forget the triple square German fetish, have those too.
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Navy did teach me some choice stuff, but this week I completely re-plumbed the brakes on a 2003 Buick LeSabre and invented a whole passel of new language.
Last count I have 23 cuts, nicks and scrapes on my arms and head, plus one on the leg that hit I don’t know what.
Then today, BIL asks for help getting his fork lift fixed, sheared alternator/hydraulic pump main pivot bolt. Let me tell ya, there is less room to work on a lift than on a frigging VW Jetta. Had to remove the coolant manifold to be able to drill out the sheared bolt on the alternator adjustment slide too as bolt end still in the casting. Was going to try to extract it but no room, ended up just drilling it out and using a 5/16 grade 5. More cuts and scrapes.
Yup, blood sacrifices are still a thing. At least it was not 20 below and blowing snow which is a coming.
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Damn, you really got tore up!
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Ya’ll talk about and try to out do each other on your “blood sacrifices” but, none of ya are virgins, so no whining…
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Ain’t no such thing as a virgin mechanic..
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Yep, yer fucked the second you pick up a wrench.
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