He’s Either An Idiot Or One Seriously Pissed Off Mechanic

I raise the second possibility because I have seen something very similar first hand.

When I worked at the Lincoln/Mercury dealer way back when, there was a Ford dealer right across the street. It’s still there as a matter of fact. The Lincoln dealer went Tits Up just a couple of years after I bailed out.

I saw a few mechanics go back and forth between them over the years but one day this big old dude we had who was the driveability/ tune up guy got really pissed off about something I can’t even remember now.

When I say big dude, I’m talking 6’3″ or 4 and well over 350 pounds big.

He looked a lot like this guy, Captain Lou Albano of Portland Wrestling fame,

Except much bigger.

He had one eye that looked sideways when he was talking to ya and was basically one of those guys you really didn’t want to have pissed off at ya.

He had a MONSTEROUS Snap On roll away tool box, the biggest one they made at the time, full of tools and that bastard was HEAVY.

Probably a thousand pounds of tools and box combined.

He went upstairs, basically told the Service manager to go fuck himself, came back downstairs, locked his box, went into the service writers office, picked up a phone and called across the street to the Ford dealer.

He talked to someone for less than a minute.

He came back out of the office and announced he quit. The car he had been working on was still in his stall and he reached in, flipped the key, put in neutral and with one shove, pushed it out into the middle of the shop because it was blocking his tool box. Then he started pushing that huge freakin’ tool box past the car, out of the shop, down the driveway and out into traffic on a four lane busy thoroughfare.

Cars were slamming on the brakes and sliding to a stop and when they all finally got stopped, he heaved into that tool box and pushed it across all 4 lanes of 122nd Avenue in Portland Oregon, up into the driveway at the dealer across the street and into their shop. There had to have been eight or ten cars sitting there going both ways and they all just sat there and waited until he got across.

It was the last time I ever saw big ol’ Steve.

Trust me when I say, that was something you don’t see every day and you sure as shit don’t forget it when you do.

16 thoughts on “He’s Either An Idiot Or One Seriously Pissed Off Mechanic

  1. The average person doesn’t realize that the smaller the wheel, for any given speed, will turn FASTER than a larger wheel. So, if the guy in the car exceeds, say, 10 mph, those wheel axles are gonna go tits ip very VERY rapidly. Also, what about potholes, railroad tracks, other spots in the road that will rip off those wheels in a new york minute?

    Yeah, I’m going for stoopid.


  2. The company website for the furniture store says there are over 40 locations, how are we supposed to mock this fucktard if we don’t know where the video was recorded?


    Then again, maybe he just got fired and was given 30 minutes to get his tools off the property.


  3. When I left Muffler, Hitches and More (Muffled Bitches and Whores) down in Woodburn, Oregun I was given 10 minutes to remove my big Craftsmen tool box with two side cabinets. I went across the street to the local welding shop which my friend owned and managed and borrow his fork lift, which incidentally is where MHM got all their welding supplies and tools. I loaded in the back of my Ford 150 and drove it out. The owners wanted to see inside my tool box to see if i stole anything, I wouldn’t let them and they said I couldn’t take my box until I did…they said they would call the cops if I didn’t comply. I handed them my cell phone after I dialed 911, they had some ‘splaining to do. I took my box and flipped them off as I was leaving.


    • When I finally had enough of their shit and gave the outfit I used to work for an excuse to get rid of me I had been there 9 years and had been running their maintenance division for over 8 of that. It took me three days and four one ton long flat bed truckloads to get my shit out of there and I still managed to leave a couple of things.
      I had to use a forklift for the tool boxes and the truck had a lift gate so I could get them off.
      I had all kinds of shit.
      Four full size roll aways, parts cabinets, tool cabinets, all kinds of tools that wouldn’t fit in either the cabinets or the roll aways, Battery chargers, cables, come alongs, grinders,testers,computer, rolling carts, engine stand, jack stands, a cherry picker and a 4KW generator. damn near enough crap to start a shop of my own.
      I had to put it all in storage in three different places.
      That will never happen again.


      • Damn, you had more shit then I did, I had the tool box, a couple of ladders, my Snap-On Battery Analyzer and charger in a cart, and a small job box I had for my power tools and tools that didn’t fit in my tool box which I had chained to each other so it wouldn’t walk out on it’s own. Did you too have only 10 minutes to clear out?


  4. I have told a few managers that my box had wheels for a reason, i did have one tell me he needed to look in my box before i left i told him to fuck off he wanted look in it he had to buy it!!!


  5. Talking about small wheels rotating really fast, the guy I flew for would chew me out for rolling out on takeoff in a taildragger and not getting airborne fast enough.
    Said I was wasting his wheel bearings. Lots of off runway stuff, so a good teaching aid for getting into the sky quickly.


  6. I think my dad has the world record for quitting his job. He was a lifelong automotive
    mechanic turned air compressor and plaster equipment mechanic. He did a job
    at a company made motion lotion packed in a plastic dildo. He snagged one.
    He informed his boss that he was quitting by placing the dildo atop a letter that
    said, Here’s a big cock for a big cock-sucker, I quit!”


    • Hah! The importance of the properly-used hyphen. That clarified that the boss was a cocksucker who was big. As opposed to a person who sucked big cocks (which would be a “big-cock sucker”).

      I remember the prosecution in the Trayvon Martin shitshow trying to convince the jury that St Skittles was afraid that Zimmerman was an anal rapist which is why he initially ran. “Dat crazy ass cracker.” It was ambiguous because of no hyphen. If it was “crazy-ass cracker” that would have been a white who was crazy. But “crazy ass-cracker” would be an insane rapist who liked to put it up the butthole.

      Good ol’ Angela Corey. Bless her heart.


      • My spelling and grammar sucks! Thanks for the compliment. I
        fucking hated my English classes as a kid. Did well in math, history,
        geography, and science. I ended up an industrial mechanic and had
        no intention of becoming a writer. One does not need to reach the
        level of William F Buckley or Bill Bennett to turn wrenches!


  7. We had a guy get fired and make a run for it (literally) with a kennedy versa-cart full of tools he bought on tool account and didn’t pay for. Rolled it out the door and legged it for parts unknown. The owners chased him down and pulled him over on the side of a 4 lane divided highway. They had a list of what he hadn’t paid for and repoed it all on the side of the road. I bought a bunch of the stuff for pennies on the dollar to clear his account. The crazy thing was that was the second time I had seen that happen.


  8. I’ve no idea why mechanics are such anti-authoritarian individualists… might be from working for idiot service managers to benefit clueless customers.
    I’ve left more than one repair shop abruptly due to a cranial-rectal inversion epidemic within the management ranks. Always took my stuff with me immediately. Flopped one box flat on its back on the flatbed during a rainstorm. Actually it might have qualified as a monsoon.
    Found out later that they were surprised by the speed of my departure. When asked why I was leaving, my response was “more money & less scott” Scott was the POS masquerading as a lead technician.
    Wheels on a toolbox are awesome! makes it easier to get on the trailer, or be the trailer…

    Liked by 1 person

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