I Once Was Blind But Now I See

And now that I can finally see like I could thirty years ago with my new glasses, all I can say is daaaaaaamn.

Y’all some ugly motherfuckers!


Just kidding, you know you are all beautiful to me.

It will be nice to be able to see clearly when we meet again if we haven’t already.

The eyeglass place literally called me as I was waiting for someone to let me in the front door to that place I work at occasionally to hand them the bill for the eye exam and the glasses to tell me they were ready.

The day I went in to get my eyes checked and order them was the last day I worked and the last day my insurance was in effect. Even though I got an email confirming that the insurance company had been informed I was eligible the eye glass place checked and told me it still didn’t show as being in effect so I wound up paying almost $400 out of my ass pocket to have the tests done and pay for the frames and lenses.

$90 for the test, $97 for Titanium frames because I am hard on equipment and $90 apiece for the lenses.

I’m sure the insurance isn’t going to pay for all of it but some is better than none the way I see it.

I was to the point I didn’t care what it cost me because I couldn’t see shit anymore. Even the eye doctor lady told me that I was very borderline driving illegally because the Dollar Store glasses just weren’t cutting it because she checked them along with my eyes.

I was buying the maximum strength available which is a 3.00 magnification and it turns out I need a 4.25.

Just for fun both eyes are fucked up just a little different so I had to get a separate prescription lens for each eye. No Macular Degeneration and just a hint of cataracts which is normal for old fucking geezers my age I hear.

After all the tests she remarked that I must have had really good eyesight when I was younger because with these new lenses I will have 20/15 vision.

I told her I missed that so much that there weren’t words for it.

Of course I had to get Bi Focals but this time I went with those Progressive ones without that damn line across the bottom.

Holy shit what a difference!

They are taking a bit of getting used to because you literally have to move your head to see right through them. If you try to look down at the floor everything goes blurry because that’s where the Reading magnification is. She told me that I need to point with my nose at what I am wanting to see.

Since it’s been broken nine friggin’ times it’s a bit crooked but I’m figuring it out.

It is so nice to be able to look across underneath the television across the room and finally be able to read the damn digital clock under it and actually be able to see what time it is.

That has been bugging the shit out of me for a couple of years now.

What’s that?



No way man.


Yeah, that’s the ticket.

See ya around.

26 thoughts on “I Once Was Blind But Now I See

  1. Selective not stubborn? yeah, good thing you added a disclaimer at the end, unfucku would have been giving you a ration all weekend.

    I started using the no line earlier this year, it’s good once the brain is adjusted to how they work.


  2. The titanium frames really are worth it.
    And the super duper scratch resistant coating is almost as tough as the eye doctor said it would be.
    I think he now understands that “Sailor Proof” doesn’t exist in the real world, and “Sailor Resistant” is the best one can hope for.


  3. When I picked up my first pair of corrective lenses, and walked out of the specs shop in a shopping centre, I thought there must be a big discount sale on for every chick who near had her tits hanging out or in see-through clobber. Then I twigged that is how they are every bloody day! I’m thinking “My bloody mates never told me about this, bastards!” The next day I went to brush my hair before going out, some specks I’d never seen before wouldn’t brush out, I looked closer: grey hairs! With that little start, I checked the rest of my reflection in worry what I’d find, but I was quickly reassured, still a youngish good-looking buck in indeterminate middle age, that would turn young girls’ heads.


  4. True story, I went to the VA about 6 years ago and needed glasses, got the same as you minus the titanium frames. About 2 years ago I was having problems seeing with them. went back to the VA to get new glasses and found out my vision went back to 20/20, except for when drinking a little to much ha ha, end of story, so far so good.
    Happy Labor Day Weekend


  5. If you can, get the eye place to give you a copy of your prescription, then go to Zenni Optical (on the web). I don’t work for them, but do order. My last pair or wire frame progressives with photo gray and oil/scratch resistant costings were less than $50. Just be prepared to send them back right away for re-do if they aren’t right.


  6. I think you’ll like the progressive lenses once you get comfortable with them. I’ve had them for years, and the only knock on them is they make playing golf a bitch. Weather permitting, I wear my contacts when I play.

    That’s your next step.


  7. I am glad you can see, now maybe the Sprite can be really fixed this time! I won’t get plastic lenses for my eye-wear, glass or I go blind. I am tired of paying for lenses with all the fancy no scratch coatings and shit and they still scratch up like crap. Damn eye docs argue with you about getting glass, saying it isn’t shatter proof.. well fuck if you are worried about that then order me some ANSI 75 safety glass. I am sure their is a higher profit margin with plastic crap.


  8. Wouldn’t have anything but progressives. Your head gets with the program pretty quickly. Been wearing glasses since I was in the third grade back in about ’49 or ’50 and been in bi’s since I was forty-five about 34 years ago. The cataracts go pretty fast once they get started. I’ve heard a lot of crap about “maturing” and such but what it really is is having you say it’s not safe to drive any more so they can justify the surgery to Medicare. Implants are the berries.


    • One of the things I like about progressive lenses is that I can see the road clearly, and (without moving my eyes) I can then just look down and see the instrumentation clearly. No muss no fuss.


  9. Thankfully I get mine once a year thru the VA, (free at my level) although this past yer they done fucked up the script, so I’m still wearing the older two year old pair that look like they got hit with 220 grit LOL.
    Normally I’d go back and get ’em fixed/replaced, but the CoronaChan fucked THAT all up as the VA eye clinic is only seeing (ha!) ‘critical cases’ and regular vision issues like me are still waiting…


  10. “Y’all some ugly motherfuckers!”

    We’re the ugly ones?? Do you own a mirror?

    I like your last line: “See ya around.” Was that a pun?

    Enjoy your new outlook on life.

    Jim Gates


  11. Congrats! Seeing is nice, innit?
    I tried those damned progressive lenses. They seemed nice. The optician (seriously, I go the place I go for Bob the optician who fits the glasses; the optometrist is good, but Bob is GREAT) cautioned me about going down stairs and missing steps.
    “Hah!” I said to myself, “what kind of dumb asshole falls down stairs because of his glasses? I’m not going to do that.”
    All was well for a week, then I got an urgent page and started to run down the stairs. Fell. Caught myself on the railing and damned near wrenched my own arm off. Truth hurts, but I guess it’s good to know for sure that I *am* a dumb asshole.
    Anyhoo, I went back to single prescription. I’m nearsighted, so I can just take my glasses *off* to read.


  12. An eye doctor willing to get you to 20/15 vision is a treasure.

    I’d be interested to hear how well progressive lenses work for you when you’re working on projects out in the garage. I found that my bifocals made things like chopping vegetables and working with tools outright dangerous, and I switched to wearing distance-only glasses for everything except very close work and reading in low light.

    Just last week, I was wearing the bifocals for once and I very nearly fell down the stairs. It made me wonder how many people have been killed by their glasses.


    • I have lined bi-focals, I can’t stand the progressive kind, I like that line across and I know where my eye is at when I look. I have had bi-focals (myopia) (I read a lot) since I was 17 and now I am 62 so sometimes ya can’t teach an old scruffy dog any tricks…


  13. I got new glasses back in April. I had been toying with the idea of Lasik as the price has become a little more manageable. Did some research and decided against it and my eye doc concurred saying it’s a waste of money for anyone over 50 as cataract surgery may be closer than you think.


    • I also looked at Lasik and decided it wasn’t for me.
      Then I had early onset of cataracts due to cortisone shots for a joint problem early in life. The artificial replacement lenses gave me close to 20/20 in both eyes.


  14. When my dad got the notice from DMV suspending his license, he was PISSED! “WHO TURNED ME IN?” Well, it was his eye docs. They were obligated by law when a patient’s vision is that far gone. As long as you’re correctable with lenses, you’re good Phil, but do know how lucky you are!
    Welcome to geezerhood Phil. My far vision is fine, and I drive without lenses, but I can’t read a damn thing without ’em. And tomorrow, I go get my new hearing aids. Even I’m getting annoyed at asking people to repeat themselves, and accusing my wife of mumbling all the time.
    As the old saying has it “Getting old ain’t for sissies!”


    • I tried hearing aids and I couldn’t stand all the noise I was hearing. Silence is sometimes golden… I have learned to read lips and if no bothersome background noise I can hear as well I want.


  15. Congrats on your new eyes! I still remember clearly the day I got my first pair in eighth grade. It was a whole new world. Now I’m in trifocals–distance, computer and reading lenses. Tried progressives for a week. Headaches so bad I thought my eyeballs were going to explode. Cataracts are slowly creeping up on me. Hopefully won’t have to deal with those for a while. . .


  16. I’ve had progressive lenses since I first needed them. I didn’t care about people saying I was wearing bi-focals, I just didn’t like the way the correction “snapped” between close and far as you ‘crossed the line’ on the lenses.

    And until you get used to wearing them, look DOWN AT YOUR FEET when you go up and down stairs,



  17. Fooking progressives drove me nuts.
    A lot of my welding is on a table, so the lined ones work best.
    I get my eyes checked at Walmart, usually in Vegas because that’s when I have the most time.
    Send the scrip off to Zenni, and new specs are here in about 9 days.
    It costs me $80 for the check-up, 80 for the bifocals with a line and auto-tint, and 55 for the scrip cheap style sunglasses.
    Acting like a cool dude in a loose mood is pretty much priceless


  18. I got my first pair of readers at 50. The Doc told me “congratulations, you now have 20-20 where you’ve ad 20-15 vision all your life”. Doc Emily of See & Co., Centreville, VA, (yes a plug for my optometrist) hooked me into distance vision glasses 3 years ago, and now I can actually see the deer in the woods before I can hear them. And I can read STOP instead of just knowing the red octagonal sign means I have to stop.

    Having made it to 60, I’m taking care of my eyes and my teeth, banking on needing them another 30 years or so. Now if I can just get my fat ass down to 160lbs I’ll be happy and healthy.


  19. You are lucky paying only $90 per lens, I pay about $200 per. Let me tell you the best way to clean them. In the past I have used those little moist towelettes made by some lens maker, you think those wouldn’t scratch your lenses right? Wrong! In a year mine were so scratched up I couldn’t see worth a shit. Found this way on the internet and it has saved me from buying new lenses for 4 years now. You put a few drops of dish washing liquid on your fingers after rinsing you glasses under the faucet, and just clean them with your fingertips, and nothing else! Rinse them off, and blow the water off with compressed air, either a can you buy to blow the dust off of your keyboard, or get one of these, it has plenty of air to get the job done! https://xpower.com/shop/a-2-airrow-pro-multipurpose-electric-duster-blower/


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