These Numbers Seem Awfully Low To Me

I’m thinking they should be closer to 100%

I fucking HATE those Pill Pushing bastards.

Every time I go see my doctor it is for a damn good reason and every single time they have to go search for my records.

It’s been at least 5 years since I last went in and that resulted in the colonoscopy nightmare.

The time before that it was 8 years. They had to get back to me because they couldn’t find my records.

I gotta say I have a pretty cool Doc, he is a small town family doctor and he quit taking new patients clear back in ’92.

He is only 5 years older than I am, has a pony tail and wears flannel shirts, blue jeans and hiking boots in the office.

An old Hippy type guy.

The only reason he started seeing me was because my Ex Wife was one of his patients.

Doesn’t mean I like to go see him though.

I would before he retires but I know damn good and well he would want to start shoving pills down my throat because that’s what they do. I can never leave his office without a brown lunch bag full of samples.

I just toss them out when I get home.

Fuck that noise.

My blood pressure is borderline high, my bad cholesterol is always a bit high but my good cholesterol is always higher.

I have a list of aches and pains a mile long but that is normal for a broke down old crazy fucker like me with over 50 car and motorcycle wrecks under my belt and a fused lower spine. There ain’t a damn thing he can do for any of that so why bother.

20 thoughts on “These Numbers Seem Awfully Low To Me

  1. I had a real cool Doc, he hunted, rode a motorcycle and told me “eat right, exercise, die anyway.” When the new corporation took over the hospital, I guess he and the other two docs were gonna get a raw deal. They left to go work for the VA. I went to the doc in a box at Walmart a couple of times to get my BP meds. They’re gonna close too now. Ugh, back to the ER. Nobody is taking new patients. And yeah, I hate going to the Doc big time.


  2. Agreed Phil. What normal guy wants a rubber gloved finger up his ass? I had a lady friend once who used to say “Stay away from doctors, they make you sick.” She was a nurse, her father was a surgeon.
    I worked hospital lab for 38 years. I knew a lot of really great docs that I had tremendous respect for. I also knew just as many that could only be described as “f***ing quacks”. Remember too, that you stand a 50-50 chance that your doc graduated in the lower half of his class.


  3. I’ve been seeing a PA. Everytime I try to see the doc they stick me with her. She calls me though, the doc never did. Last time she called she wanted me to come in and start using an injection for diabetes type 2, and I told her no. Thought she was gonna have an infarction right there, she was pissed.


  4. The law requires healthcare orgs etc. to maintain a patients records for seven years. After that they are usually discarded as maintaining them costs money. And yes…..going to te doctor is NOT the idea of a good day for most people. But sometimes you just have to suck it up and go.


    • Mr Leonard, that was a funny ditty! I have known surgeons that specialized in colon and rectal problems, they are very well paid. They would have to be considering they look up butts all day…


        • I once asked a doctor friend what could possess an MD to specialize in gastroenterology. The only answer he could come up with was “It’s a diagnostic challenge”. That and that many specialist residencies are a lottery crap-shoot (pun intended).


  5. Phil, “over 50 car and motorcycle wrecks”, were all those prangs because you were on the grog so much, or include the DT effects later on? How the hell do you manage a days work after all that damage?


    • Most of them was because I was drunk and crazier than a shithouse rat when I was younger. From the age of 19 to the age of 29 I totalled 29 rigs
      29 in ten years. That doesn’t count the motorcycle wrecks of which there were many
      I lost count over the years but I am pretty sure I have had over 60 vehicles in my life.


      • Can’t come close to that kind of history, but I have survived a few “magical mystery tours” that by all just deserts I shouldn’t have. I freely admit that I was 26 before I got my head out of my a**. It took a long time for my redneck roots to come out, but here in my cranky old age, they have with a vengeance.


  6. I see my Doc twice a year. Besides the blood test there is little more than that I am willing to do. I also see a CDL Doc once a year to keep my drivers licence. He is a joke. I also think he wouldn’t pass a drug test.


  7. I’m your age, and on my seventh car, but then I havn’t had anywhere near the fun you did. I did prang one car, a little Subaru wagon that I nailed a steer with. The bastard walked up on to the highway right on top of a culvert, which meant I had no avoidance possible. I punched those little brakes hard, but was still doing 40km/hr when I hit it. Pretty slow, but it slid up the windshield onto the roof, the mongrel bastard walked off without a limp! Considering the value of beef, it surprises me that more cattle stations still don’t fence near roads.


    • Here in the Oregon Outback there’s a lot of free-range cattle. And our ranchers favor Black Angus–coal black bastards are damn near invisible at night. One more reason us old coots hate to drive at night.


  8. I’ve been blessed with some really good doctors. My heart surgeon has the bedside manner of a wet paper bag, but I didn’t care, because he’s really, really good and my valve job went flawlessly!


  9. Doctors and Lawyers are such a racket. Client gets 25-Life, Lawyer gets paid. Patient dies, Dr. gets paid. When my old man went for his last cancer check after his chemo and was declared in 100% remission, the nurse stuck him with a flu shot. He was dead 10 days later.


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