Hipster Survival Kits Are A Thing Now

I believe “Clueless Hipsters” would be more accurate.

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The cute little lanterns are the dead give away.

What are they planning to put in them?

Mandolins, Banjos and Guitars are also a huge clue.

33 thoughts on “Hipster Survival Kits Are A Thing Now

  1. “Bushcrafty” or “Camping In the Old Style” sort of fits the photos. I don’t see any bug dope or even mosquito netting.

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  2. The only absolute requirement is the Hudson Bay axe.
    Not a single compass or map, so likely not leaving the city campground.
    REAL CAMPING is no WiFi, no cell service and sat phones work once every four hours for twenty minutes.

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  3. Fuel for the lantern, Phil? Why, vegan soy oil of course! No mozzie net, as you’ll gladly suffer if you’re woke enough, or they could burn the bullshit surrounding their lives as traditional natural deterence.

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    • Fuel for the lantern? But that just gets then dirty. You can’t pose for a picture with dirty equipment.
      Thompson: Not even a stylish Marbel’s compass.

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    • Yep. No bangstick. Those pipes sure look useful, don’t they??

      All this crap and nothing for self-protection, unless you can swing a mean shovel. My survival equipment has a two gun minimum, and they’re .357 or better.

      Where’s the first aid kit? A real one, not those posers…

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  4. Brass knuckles? What, gonna punch a bear? I also noticed what appears to be a wrist rocket (sling shot). But no bow and arrows and certainly no firearms. Obviously these are for the urbane sophisticate. Maybe an old copy of the Boy Scout manual would be in order. Naw, these are for looks only. Now we know their uniforms. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love the way Millennials like to butch up with beards and tattoos. A real man
    doesn’t need a flannel shirt to prove he’s a man. And fer fucks sake,who
    takes jack-off meister on a camping trip? If it ain’t Jack Daniels, it ain’t shit
    and you ain’t a man!

    There is nothing like a shot of J/D on a cold night in the mountains. Been doin’
    it since I was 14. It was the one exception to the no drinking rule when I was
    growing up. Who the fuck takes a lute or mandolin (I can’t tell the difference)
    on a camping trip beside Incel assholes who sit around the campfire singing
    Joni Mitchell songs?

    Ansel Fucking Adams, it’s a fishing trip! What the hell are you planning to do,
    photograph wildlife? Ditch the 40-pound gadget bag, the dSLRs, the optics,
    filters. etc. and buy a big bore bolt action rifle if you want a real wilderness
    “experience.” Here is a clue, Mammy Nature is a cruel, evil bitch who
    will dine on your liver while you are still alive!

    Photo number one is the most realistic, with the exception of a firearm. As a
    Cubby, Weblo, and Boy Scout, I could make do, but these pussies would be
    bear shit in no time! These Jerimiah Johnson soy-boys have no idea who
    he really was. Liver-Eating Johnson killed 3 to 6 hundred Crow braves in
    one on one combat.

    I copied the text and photos from the now-dead Blog Badass of the Week.
    I’ll send an MS Word or other WP file to our host.

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  6. I see these posers running around town here all dressed up in their flannel shirts, beards, wrong type of boots, and a “Man Bun” all the time.

    Well, not so much now that the college is closed, but we’ll see them again after the “pandemic” farce is over and the kiddies come back.

    Take these people ten miles out of town, and drop them in a canyon, and they’d never be seen again.

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      • GMTA, Phil!

        Back in 1966, they dropped us Boy Scouts in the middle of the Kaniksu forest (panhandle of North Idaho near the Canuk border) and told us, “See ya in three days!”. Of course, we had been trained by some of the instructors from the Fairchild AFB Survival Course. We weren’t worried, and neither were our parents.

        Them were the days!

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  7. I always thought a tarp would be kind of useful but hey I don’t know how to play any musical instruments so it appears that I probably should just stay inside where it’s safe. I don’t see one headlamp. In another 45 days I probably won’t be without one for months. I might not be using it around the clock but I won’t be without one on me ever.

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  8. No, no, folks are missing what is actually going on here. This is an extension of the old “show me your EDC” picture. But this is for the posers. This has just extended into a sort of ego Kabuki. Notice that everything is carefully laid out in the most artful way, the tools and equipment are either ” artfully vintage” or very pricey. The clothing is also top of the line. This is showing off your ego by way of how much it costs and how cool you can show it off. But sometime some of them even use it for the intended purposes!

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    • Think you nailed it Dean… all that shit is mad Top Dolla Items… shit from pricey boutique-y stores in Downtown NYC or Chicongo… where shit like that gets bought as a status symbol much like the Beemer and Rolex of the eighties were… and as mentioned, damned near none of it -actually- fuckin’ useful in the bush aye?

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  9. FWIW, in comparison, my ‘summer season’ survival (aka ‘get home’ bag) has water, food, small chest rig, AR pistol, a couple of spare pistol mags, a Ka-bar, multi-tool, universal spigot key (case I needs more water), a bottle of Ben’s 100% Deet bug juice, 2 pair of Darn Tough hiking socks, Merrell hiking boots, rip stop pants and shirt, a rain jacket, spec plus water proof boonie hat, a head lamp, a canteen cup, a small stove with fuel, and coffee. Weighs about 20 pounds until I take the clothing out and change into my ‘move along’ outfit. Winter is a whole ‘nother thing, and the kit gets a bit heavier with necessary outer layers, etc.

    It’s obvious the kits in the pics are like I was told about fishing lures when I was a kid….”90% of fishing lures are designed to catch fisherman, not fish….”

    Just sayin’

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Just this morning I scrubbed the dust ‘n dirt off my 40 year old Danners. Tomorrow they get a nice coat of Huberd’s Shoe Grease, and a few nice hot afternoons to soak it in. Bought them in 1979 from the factory in Milwaukie Oregon.
    The Boy Scout Manual on my shelf is from 1965, and I’ve been expanding on its subject matter ever since.
    As for the posers in the pictures, the most important item missing is the skill and practice to actually use any of that shit.
    Why do real loggers always have the sleeves ripped off of their flannels? Because when you’re a thousand feet down a ravine with a choker line is when nature’s urge strikes. Yes, you’ve got TP, but it’s with the lunch bucket up at the landing.

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    • You haven’t heard of wristers? You cut your sleeves off, and replace them with knit wristers that you pin onto the shirt sleeves. You can put on dry wristers at the end of the day. You use moss or underwear to wipe.

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  11. Is it politically incorrect to post that if I bring a gun to their campsite, they’ve hauled all that gear up to MY campsite for me?

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