Some Of The Local Entertainment

I was sitting here on my ass surfing the web and trying to stay current on what is going on in the world here a few minutes ago and not really paying a lot of attention to what was going on but I started hearing some kind of commotion going on outside across the street.

This little neighborhood is surprisingly busy at times and there are some fucking teenagers across the way and down a bit of gravel easement road that sees cars come and go at all hours of the night and day.

Lots and lots of low riders and little Wannabe’s.

It has become pretty common in the last few months to hear some little asshole in a low rider come down the road with loud exhaust noises and then you hear a bunch of metal scraping on concrete noises as they try to get up the driveway in these things. Surprisingly common are older large BMW’s and not quite as common but the usual little Rice Burners you more commonly think of when you are talking about teenagers and their slammed to the ground cars.

The loud exhaust we hear all the time are obviously because the idiots have these cars slammed to the ground with almost no ground clearance for the exhaust systems so they get ripped loose trying to get over speed bumps and trying to get into driveways by coming at them at an angle instead of straight in.

So I’m sitting here hearing an engine rev up and at least one tire spinning on the pavement but I’m not really paying attention to it. The Wifely Unit was sitting out under the patio umbrella enjoying the heat and she could hear it real good. Pretty soon she gives me a holler and tells me I need to come see what is going on across the street.

I peeked over the fence and just busted out laughing.


It seems our melanin enhanced visitor got his precious low rider high centered in the fucking driveway.

I stretched up on my tippy toes and snapped this picture over the top of the fence just as he is trying to jam a piece of wood under the tire to get some traction.

Which tells me that he has no clue. The tire that is spinning is the one on the other side that is hanging up in the air.

As you can see it’s a wicked steep driveway too.

One of his buddies finally showed up and they got the thing backed out of the driveway.

As I am typing this I can hear another one of the fucking things circling around out front in an attempt to find just the right angle so he can try and get in that driveway.

The part that really cracks me up is that the house all these clowns are going to is the next one in line that is just out of the picture. Instead of parking on the street and walking thirty five feet, all these fucking morons must be taking it as some kind of challenge to see who can get their piece of shit low rider up into that driveway.

Fucking Suburbia man.

No end of bullshit around here anymore.

10 thoughts on “Some Of The Local Entertainment

  1. Phil’s blog: the movie. Starring Clint Eastwood, and a Mini-14 this time, and a demon Sprite too. We know you can write Phil, you and Wirecutter, so when are the books going to be printed?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Over here in Spokane it’s the scrape marks of the low rider’s chassis, exhaust, or oil pan that I see right after the pothole. Sometime I even see a (concrete) berm/curb in the middle of the street – especially in a turn lane – that has had the hell scraped out of it, with appropriate oil smears on ’em.

    I actually watched a low-slung Camaro turn a corner into a main thoroughfare, high center a curb like that (again, turn lane divider), and lose ALL his oil in about .5 seconds. I wonder if his crank was involved in the altercation, too. Didn’t stop to check, laughed my ass off all the way home!


  3. Why have caltrops not yet entered the picture? With all the comings and goings and youts driving pricey rides, that has to be a drug house.


    • Trust me, it crossed my mind. The problem with that is that there are other middle class working schlub families behind them that have to use that same little stretch of easement to get in and out also and I don’t want any collateral damage.


  4. Used to see these morons All-The-Time when we lived in Long Beach. Between the low riders and the idiots with 24″ rims on their 70 Chebbie, I’ve seen it all…..


    • What I liked was watching the low riders in San Jose with hydraulics get stuck in an upward or downward slant or even sideways, or the controls would stick and the Car bouncing out of control. Better yet the hydraulic pump and the batteries catch on fire ‘cuz of a short or a hose burst. Fun watching them panic trying to put out a fire. hydraulic fluid and batteries don’t mix.


  5. Leonard is right!!! Many a time when working at the shop we had to use 2 x 4s under the tires like the guy in the picture, just to be able to put the lift arms under the car to pick it up to fix the under carriage damage from ripped out oil pans and trans pans, one time a busted open differential when the dumbass went to fast over a speed bump crossways!!!


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