One For The “You Obviously Have Absolutely No Fucking Clue What Level Of Hell You Have Just Unlocked” File

I don’t know about anyone else but when my kids were young there was always a bunch of neighbor kids coming over and vice versa. Then there was their hell raising cousins that were always in and out too. It was the same way when I was a kid.

We were such Hellions that we had a reputation that was literally talked about for miles around.

My kids were actually pretty mellow compared to all the shit we pulled.

It wouldn’t have taken much to coax them into driving this bitch insane though. I can be pretty creative when I want to be.

By the time I got done tormenting this particular “Karen” there would be big guys in white coats hauling her ass off.

After I posted this and read it again it dawned on me that somewhere back East I have a whole shit load of relatives named Hineman.

I’m betting if this one is related, that “Karen” is already just a bad memory.

27 thoughts on “One For The “You Obviously Have Absolutely No Fucking Clue What Level Of Hell You Have Just Unlocked” File

  1. This is the kind of person I “turn into a weekend project.” Once you become my new project, I just devote my time to thinking of ways to improve your life. My wife was shocked how quickly I tracked down her now ex-boss’s residence, wife’s occupation, and other details based only on his first name. She had to beg me to stop. If this bitch was my neighbor, Shenanigans would be declared. It’s even more hilarious she thought a snotty letter would help.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The first thing I would do would be to go buy a Trampoline and set it up right in front of her window and invite all the neighbor kids over. That would give them dogs something to go crazy barking at all day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I live in a farm in the boonies in WV. I have similar neighbor. Nothing meets his standards.
    I was building tractor shed along road. He shows up to make sure it is done correctly. He did not want to drive by an ‘eyesore’. First thing he does is grab level, and put on corner post. It was tiny bit out of level. but we did not have time to correct it yet. So t tell him, this is correct way to read a level, and slung it as far as I could. He left in tears, the building intentionly leaned out at top on both sides about a foot. I covered it with 7 different colors of metal sheeting/sideing. Got complaints from other neighbors about color choices, and offers to paint it for me. I informed them that painting was not an option, as I had to pay 10 cents a foot extra for the gold and silver sheets.
    He also complain I do not weadeat the 1/2 mile of road frontage. Occasionly he will sneak down and weedeat it when he thinks I am not home. He stopped when he discovered ”*** is a asshole sprayed with roundup in his carefully weedeated area.
    many more too numerous to mention

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We tortured women in the neighborhood like this. In one case we tossed bb’s one by one onto her aluminum awning (tap tap tap tap roll roll roll) until she bust out the front door screaming. 20 minutes later we started back up again.

    One dude that we did the same to came busting out his front door with literally a sub-machine gun. My dad called the cops on him.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is obvious that the ‘Karen’ like neighbor is going to get an Olympic scaled response to her petty BS. T’were it I, I would put a pool up above ground of course for better visibility. Then I would invite every kid that my child knows and every relative and their families I have. BBQ every weekend. It would be worth going through a little inconvenience to see this neighbor carted off in a strait jacket. It is rather obvious she is wrapped WAY TOO TIGHT!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Bakers chocolate can kill them. BUT…milk chocolate will make them shit like crazy.
    I’d hope she had shag carpet in her house…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Looking at the post, it is Bobbie who GOT the note from Mrs. Kravitz’s great grand daughter. (TV reference.) She looks like a nice lady. If she is your relative, Phil, maybe you should offer to come visit for a spell…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. W. T. F. is WRONG with people now days? When I was a little shit growing up in my neighborhood with probably 50 other little shits we spent our weekends and entire summers raising hell with our bicycles, stick-ball games in the middle of the friggen road, cap guns, BB guns and we never got in trouble because if we did do something actually “bad”, you can be sure somebody’s Mom saw us and every damn phone in the neighborhood was ringing off the hook for the massive rat out going on and the eventual ass beating you were gonna get. That woman and her family would’ve had to move in order to get relief from what would happen. God I loved growing up in the late 50’s into the 60’s

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Y’all are missing the key point: the neighbor is annoyed because her bird (supposedly) likes to look into the neighbor’s yard, which is all polluted by children. Neighbor and her bird can mind their own damn business, and not look into other people’s yards.

    My mom had a neighbor like this. So mom was a gardener and had all sort of flowers in the back yard. There was both a hedge and a chainlink fence between the properties. Shortly after the new neighbors moved in, the hedge started dying; got quite sickly and scraggly. Mom was puzzled by this. Then the neighbor’s husband came by to complain about “the junk under the deck”. My parents’ house was a split level, there was a 6×12 deck off the top floor, about six feet off the ground. Under the deck my mom kept her wheelbarrow, garden tools, and bags of soil, peat, etc. It was all quite neatly stored.

    Neighbor’s hubby said “looking at your junk upsets my wife, and you need to clean it up.” Mom told him it was none of their business, and that’s why she’d planted a hedge.
    “Oh,” says neighbor hubby, “my wife likes to see the flowers you’ve planted.”
    Mom: Well, then she should understand that I need that “junk” to take care of the flowers.
    NH: She doesn’t want to have to look at the junk. You need to move it.

    Well, mom was so pissed off she went straight off to Lowes and got about 12 linear feet of 8-foot high wood fence and put it up by the fence so the neighbors couldn’t see under the deck. NH came by the next day. “Take the fence down. My wife misses seeing your flowers.”
    Mom: No. You complained about seeing the “junk” which is in my yard, and you have no business looking into my BACK yard anyway. I’ve spent time and money to comply with your unreasonable demands just to be a good neighbor. Now go away.
    NH: Take the fence down, and we’ll stop putting weedkiller on the hedge.
    Mom: What? You’ve been deliberately killing my hedge? Which is entirely on my property, by the way. Get out!

    NH went away. The next day the city sent someone over with a “Cease and Desist” writ claiming that mom was illegally doing construction without a permit.

    Those were miserable, wretched people. Neighbor woman was a faculty member at the local university (hubby was less accomplished and spent his days being her lickspittle, irritating people that his wife could not be bothered to piss off on her own). Eventually she became Chairman of the Dept of Biochemistry. After which she took up the hobby of breeding neurotic yippy little dogs.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Drums. Lots and lots of drums. And cymbals. Perhaps a trumpet.

    But the first thing you do is call the police and get your side of it down before she does. And animal control, while you’re at it. The dogs run loose, don’t they? You betcha.

    Like

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