I have definitely been traumatized.
Holy shit what a battle!
All because of a miserable fucking 2 stroke leaf blower!
When my Dad passed away several years ago we wound up going through all his shit of course.
I got a real good idea where my Hoarding came from between him and my Mom’s dad.
It was unreal. I think we found something like 40 tooth brushes and fifteen shower heads amongst all the other crap. Nobody had a clue it was going to be like that, he organized and hid all that shit really well.
We literally ordered a ten yard dumpster and filled it up.
So beware childrens of mine, when I kick, get on the phone and get one coming.
Not all of it was crap naturally, he had some decent tools he never used and us brothers split all that crap up. My blood brother wound up with a bunch of stuff and in it was this damn Craftsman 200 MPH Leaf Blower.
It was in like almost new condition for being as old as it was which should tell you how much the old man used it.
I got busy and frustrated trying to fix the fucker and forgot to take enough pictures. That one above is off the internet but it is exactly the same .
So my brother wanted me to get this thing running after it’s been sitting for six or seven years now, probably closer to ten knowing my Dad.
I put some fresh mix in it and yanked on it until my tongue was hanging out, which don’t take that long these days.
I figured the carb was fucked from sitting so long so I got on the internet and started looking around. A long story short there, I discovered that it was way, way cheaper to order a brand new Chinesium carb in a kit off of Fleabay than it was to get just a gasket kit for it domestically.
The kit came with a new carb complete, fuel lines, two fuel filters, two foam air filters, two extra fuel primer bulbs and a couple of gaskets. It also showed as having a new spark plug but that didn’t show up in the kit.
All for $16 plus free shipping.
You ain’t beating that deal. The gasket kit I found?
It took a couple of weeks to get here but it finally showed up last Thursday.
Friday I tore into the thing.
One of the first things I discovered was that one of the two new fuel lines was too big to fit in the fuel tank so I went up to a local small engine repair place and got two feet of the correct size.
These little things are a joy to work on.
A whole bunch of screws holding it together and when you get those out, you have to split the plastic case and then flip it around again to get at the target.
So I fiddle fucked around with this thing for a couple of hours at least.
If you will notice, this thing does not have a trigger on the throttle, just the red flip handle. It’s pretty much Wide Open or Idle.
After dicking around with this miserable sonofabitch, I finally got it all put back together and put some fresh mix in it again, hit the primer bulb until I saw gas flowing, flipped the throttle and the choke, set it down in the driveway and commenced to yanking on the starter rope.
Imagine my amazement when it started on the third pull!
So I let it run for about a minute and then flipped the throttle off and had to flip the choke up to kill it. No Kill Switch on the thing.
I tried starting it again.
Yanked on it again until my tongue was hanging out.
Nope, not even a sputter.
Got pissed off and went and got a can of Starting Fluid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Pulled the plug and it was fouled.
Went up to the parts store and got THREE of the motherfuckers and two more cans of ether because the one I had went empty.
Gapped and put the plug in and cranked on that bastard some more.
The spark plug is recessed inside that stupid plastic cover so far that only the tip of it sticks out and the hole is so small you literally have to jam and twist to get a plug socket in there to get on the plug.
Pulled that brand new plug out and it was fouled too.
There is no ignition kill switch on this thing as I mentioned before, so why is this fucker not firing, AFTER IT JUST RAN FINE?
Fucking Piece of SHIT!
Take the damn thing back in the garage and start in on it.
I tore the whole thing apart, had to wrestle and bend the plastic cover but finally got the whole engine out of the fucker.
Lots of plastic and a little engine.
Took the fan off, took the pull starter mechanism off, already had the new carb off and found there was a plastic cover over the coil too.
Pulled that fucker off.
Then there was enough of a lip at the bottom that I could clamp the whole engine in a little bitty vise I had clamped to the work bench I was using.
Now I could spin the flywheel by hand and see what was going on with the spark.
It seemed to be sporadic to me so I yanked the coil off too and started cleaning it up to make sure it was grounding to the motor good, the flywheel has magnets in it that are so strong it will literally stop the rotation of the flywheel when spinning it by hand when it rotates under the coil.
Reinstalled and gapped the coil and tested it again. Still wasn’t real good spark. By now it was late so I said Fuck It and went in the house for the night.
Got up the next day and fiddle fucked around until I got good and woke up and girded my loins for a fresh battle
Went back out in the garage and there it is, still in the vise, mocking me.
Fuck you, little bastard.
I stuck my cordless drill on the end of the crank shaft and started spinning it while holding the plug up against the aluminum head.
Now we gots sparks.
Spent the next hour and a half cleaning and putting that dirty bastard back together, hit it with some ether and yanked on it.
Fouled yet another plug.
Tore the whole thing back apart AGAIN and started over.
Got fresh fuel?
Stuck my finger in the spark plug hole and spun it over.
THEN WHY IN THE FUCK WON’T THIS THING RUN?!!
As you can probably imagine, by now I am seething with rage.
This stupid little fucker ran just fine and now nothing?
Fuuuuuuck you bitch. I got pissed off and walked away from it.
So yesterday I broke down and dug out my secret weapon.
This is a method of last resort and I absolutely HATE using it for shit like this but I was getting desperate.
I got on Youtube.
I probably spent a half an hour quickly opening a bunch of them up and seeing the usual garbage when they won’t start.
Do you have fresh gas?
Is the recoil spring broken?
That kind of crap.
Then I opened one up and I swear to you, the kid that posted it sounded like he was twelve years old.
I’m thinking shit, This one is going to be a waste of time and just when I was getting ready to try and find another one, he says something that catches my attention.
He starts talking about the muffler and some kind of screen inside they use for a spark arrestor.
No way, I says out loud.
It couldn’t be that simple.
So I take the muffler off.
Then just for shits and grins, give the pull starter a few yanks and the little fucker farted.
I stuck everything back together except the muffler, gave it two yanks and the fucking thing roared to life!
You have got to be kidding me. How did that muffler get plugged all of a sudden?
There is a little cover on it with four 1/8th inch holes in it.
Those two big holes are for the mounting bolts.
I took the two screws holding that cover on off, expecting to find this screen the kid was talking about but there wan’t one in there. Just two little holes that were barely 3/16ths of an inch wide under it and a bunch of oily crap.
I see now.
To keep the thing quiet, they only have those two dinky holes in the muffler to let the exhaust gas out and then it has to come out those 4 even dinkier 1/8th inch holes in the cover!
The slightest bit of crap in there and the damn thing can’t breathe!
So I cleaned that whole damn thing up, put it back together and it started on the second pull.
THREE DAYS I fucked with this thing!
I was so happy to see it running after that that I went back in the house, looked up that Youtube again and wrote a thank you to the kid even though the video was 3 years old. He’ll find it eventually.
I would have never thought to think of a restricted exhaust on a fucking two stroke engine.
So just so ya know, when I finally, finally got it all back together and running, I shot a quick video* to send to my brother and told him to be home because I was dropping the fucker off.
I don’t ever want to see this little fucker again.
Miserable little whore anyway.
So as for the little asterisk* above concerning this video.
I don’t know if any of you have noticed until now but up until recently, I haven’t been able to post any videos other than Youtubes.
Now I can.
That’s because I had to shell out more money and upgrade my WordPress plan. I had run out of the allotted space to post images and was forced to upgrade in order to post anymore pictures. Along with that upgrade was the ability to post videos.
Since Irish showed me how to post videos to Youtube, I may, I’m still thinking about it, try to find some kind of gizmo to hold on to my phone and start posting some videos on there.
I’m still thinking about it. It’s a whole new ball game that. Filming, editing most of the cussing out and all that crap. We shall see.
In the mean time, I have other things to do.
Like get past his latest nightmare.