I Have Done This

Tow

Somewhere between ’82 and ’83 I believe.

Actually. my brother did the driving because it was his car and it was more like towing the bike as it rode on the back wheel.

He had a very early 80’s Ford Mustang.

I had a complete POS Suzuki two stroke street bike that barely ran and smoked like a motherfucker from the late 60’s.

I had been out of work for months and there was no work in the Coos Bay area.

My brother was in the Navy at the time and stationed in San Diego.

He had driven to Portland and stopped into Coos Bay to pick me up on his way back.

I got a job offer through a different local of the Operating Engineers down in California for a two week job.

My Parents lived just South of San Francisco in San Mateo.

I took the front wheel off the bike, we opened up the trunk. I wedged a 2X4 across the trunk and lashed the shit out of the front forks to the 2X4, the trunk hinges, the back seat and anything else I could find. The back wheel was on the ground, following.

We drug that fucking motorcycle behind that Mustang from Coos Bay to San Francisco.

Road Trip

The bastards charged me an extra fifty cent toll for it on the Bay Bridge going into Frisco.

At some point the bike had leaned over and it completely wore the back tire down on one side.

We got to my folks, My Dad arranged to have one of his buddies load it up in his pickup and he drove it to Lemoore Fucking California where this job was.

South of Fresno.

Lemoore

There ain’t nothing in Lemoore California except Cotton Fields, lots of them. There is an Air Force base not too far away and a huge water canal that goes clear across the state runs through there. They were digging out the canal and that was the job I went down there for as an Oiler for the Heavy equipment.

Central California, during the peak of Summer, I went from the high temperature being in the mid 60’s to 104 degrees in the shade. The first day I drank a gallon and a half of lemonade and pissed one time. I sweated the rest of it out.

Like to croaked from Heat Exhaustion because I wasn’t used to that shit.

As long as I live I will never forget riding that fucked up piece of shit Suzuki back from the job site one blistering afternoon with no helmet, and an unbuttoned shirt flapping in the wind behind me down this desolate two lane road when I see what looks like heat shimmering in the road ahead of me.

I was probably going 45 or 50 miles an hour with a giant cloud of blue smoke trailing behind me and no one else in sight when this shimmering in front of me started getting a bit darker.

I had sunglasses on and couldn’t quite figure out what the hell was going on.

About twenty five feet from meeting this darkness hovering over the road I realize it’s a cloud of some kind of bugs.

Fifteen feet away, at 45 miles an hour, I realize it is a huge swarm of GIANT Dragon Flies!

dragon flies

 

I went into that cloud of bugs at speed and they started hitting me EVERYWHERE on the front side of my body.

I slammed on the brakes because it felt like someone was putting fifty fucking cigars out on my arms and my chest all  at one time and at least two of them plastered me right in the face.

I had welts all over from those fuckers. My fingers, my arms, my shins but most of all, on my bare chest and my face.

Holy Fuck did that hurt!

Here I am standing in the middle of the road with Bug Guts and welts all over me after I finally got the thing shut down and stopped..

I looked down and got a good look at just how big these sonsabitches were laying on the ground and I shit you not they were at least three inches long and half an inch in diameter.

I never seen Dragon Flies that damn big, before or since!

When I finally got back to the motel we were staying at all the guys I had been working with took one look at me and thought I had been jumped and had the shit beat out of me by some locals.

I was black and blue all over.

I managed to finish out the two weeks and then caught a ride back to my folks. I ended up staying down there around the South Bay area for five fucking years.

Some of the most insane chapters of my life happened while I lived down there and I am stupid lucky to still be alive.

I will never forget those damn Dragon Flies though.

7 thoughts on “I Have Done This

  1. Hey, you should’ve slowed down a tetch and opened your mouth – a free meal! Protein on the wing!
    Remember to keep your jaw clenched though, use your teeth as a strainer…

    Like

  2. I got hit in the chest, through my leather jacket, by a cicada one time when I was on the way home from work riding my Suzuki twin lunger 400. Thought I’d been shot. Left a baseball size bruise.

    Like

  3. From Coos Bay to SF! What a degrading dilemma you got yourself into. Can’t say that I blame you though cause I’ve had to work in Cal as well, simply because there were no living wage full time jobs where I lived, although never in one of the cities. When you work in the oil patch, sometimes you can’t be to choosy. But SF! Holy crap man, that place hasn’t been habitable since, uh, well, the great burning……And I’d say it’s well overdue for another one…..

    Like

  4. I was there in the Navy on that base in 82 to 83. Been there since 1971 of Jan. Welcome to the great Central Valley. It does get a tad hot down here during the summer. You missed the hotter days of 110 to 115 in the shade. Loads of fun when doing roofing during that time of year.
    Did you have any time where you could go to the coast or up into the mountains to cool off?
    Seems like I joined the Navy to see Lemoore. Did most of my 21 years in Lemoore, then other places when required to.
    Any way, good day to you now I must go and see a movie.
    Take care.

    Like

Pansies, Trolls and Liberals are urged to flee this place.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s