Slap It Between Two Pieces Of Bread


lettuce wraps

WTF, lettuce wrap.

My ass.

If you want a sandwich, make a fucking sandwich.

If you want a salad, make a salad.

If you want meat and lettuce make a Chef’s salad.

Don’t be trying to hand me some shit wrapped in a lettuce leaf.

I’ll just order a fucking pizza.

4 thoughts on “Slap It Between Two Pieces Of Bread

  1. There is a “Theory of Sandwiches.” Every sandwich contains lettuce (preferably iceberg) and meat; the mayo goes on the lettuce-side bread; the mustard goes on the meat-side bread.


  2. I learned a really great Kale recipe I would like to share with you Phil.
    Start with a bunch of Kale some oil and a frying pan.
    Heat the pan up on medium high and add oil.
    Add the kale when the oil is hot
    Stir the kale around in the oil for a few minute being sure to coat all the leaves evenly,
    Once accomplished this then will allow the kale to slide off the pan all at once and into the fucking garbage can where it belongs.


  3. Take the wrap and throw it in the fucking garbage can and head to a good
    deli! Jersey Mike’s Subs or if you’re in the Los Angeles area, Langer’s Deli.
    They make Subway look like Taco Bell.


  4. I get a lettuce leaf, slice of cheese and lunch meat and roll all together. Not my first choice but hey – gets the job done. Less carbs by far, good for people like me who are pre-diabetic but still want their ‘sandwich’ fix. I usually skip the mayo and mustard too. I used to use cheese sticks, but those fuckers have shrank in size BIG TIME – fuck that !! My cheap ass don’t play that . . .


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