This is what happens when you go 84,000 miles without an oil change.
Amazingly enough, I have seen worse.
I don’t think I will ever forget the Minivan that some stupid fucker brought into the dealership one time years ago complaining of the engine making a loud ticking noise.
For one thing, I hate mini vans. For another, they are a giant pain in the ass to work on. This thing was a Mercury Villager, alias Nissan Quest, Front wheel drive bastard.
I ESPECIALLY hated those motherfuckers.
I can’t remember how long it took me to finally get the front valve cover off the fucker because it’s been twenty five years ago but even after all the bolts were out I had a hell of a time getting the valve cover up and out. When I finally got the front one off I immediately saw why and stopped working on it.
I was stunned at what I found and could only stand there and stare at it for a few minutes, completely Gobsmacked at what I was looking at.
I am not exaggerating, there was literally a long, solid brick of carbon under it that was perfectly formed to the inside of the valve cover and all you could see were the very top sides of the rocker arms and a bunch of little round holes where the valve retainer caps had been moving up and down in it.
Amazingly enough, the owner declined to have a new engine installed in it after I told the service writer the one in it at the time was a goner and I wasn’t going to waste one more second of my time trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.
I threw it back together, charged the dumbass an arm and a leg for being so stupid and wasting my time and watched it roll back out the front door. Unfortunately this was long before cell phones with cameras because there has been many a time I wished I had a picture of that.