Here We Fuckin’ Go

I have put it off as usual because I hate going to the fucking mall but a man has to do what a man has to d. I need to go do my Christmas shopping today. I only have a window of a few hours before I have to go to a Christmas party. Thankfully I only need to grab a couple of items. Unfortunately, they are in…

The Mall.

I HATE THE FUCKING MALL.

Especially at Christmas time.

It could be worse I guess, it could be Wal Mart

AW4Inb

Parking is always a nightmare.

parking-lot

And the multitudes of Morons get on my nerves the second I step foot in the door.

By the time I get out of the damn place I have people getting out of my way like Moses parting the Red Sea.

They take one look at my face and suddenly find somewhere else to be.

Fuckin’ Sheeple.

I hate being amongst them but I have to make some sort of effort to appear normal this time of year. If I am still around next year I am gonna hit Amazon, hard.

Normally I just go into a place like Fred Meyer and get a fist full of gift cards. In this instance that won’t do.

Wish me luck.

 

8 thoughts on “Here We Fuckin’ Go

  1. WAIT! I just had a *better* idea – get an appropriately-marked biohazard suit and go to the Mall. People will give you a w-i-d-e berth, for sure! The Mall Cops might object, but you aren’t breaking any laws.

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  2. I know how many people in retail need the Xmas rush and I try to give them some biz, but, except for the stuff last minute, cyber is the way to go.

    You start after Labor Day and you’re 80% done by Turkey Day.

    Yeah, there’s always something cool that doesn’t come out until Halloween that somebody wants, but you get that and you’re done.

    And Herself doesn’t burst into tears about being married to the Grinch.

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  3. Figured out a suitable alternative and it’s appreciated for what it is by most.
    Home made fruit flavored shine, mixed berry seems is everyones favorite, fruit jelly and perserves, home brewed beer and honey mead. Stuff you can’t buy. We trade a guy down the road, black raspberries for honey from his bee hives he has for his crops, use that for the mead.
    Aside from the naturally growing cane fruits that spring up on our land, every year we plant some fruit, peaches, cherries, blueberries etc. Not alot, because we ain’t rich or nothing, but a few or so each spring and fall. I got 40 feet of pipe and wire grape trellis growing now, doing it two grape vines a year. Its really saved us some serious dollars and we didn’t think about it at first, only wanted to give gifts we made ourselves.
    It’s all paid itself back in savings on commercial gifts we don’t spend our bucks on.
    One less rat race thing in our lives.

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  4. Sometimes in the past Ive used the Snap On truck. But you gotta really love em.Muh Dad got some good ones in years past.Wrenches, screwdrivers and a multi meter in past years. It was a kind of replenishment for his stock of tools that I raided in my youth. But better replacements. Like the boy scout motto. “Leave it better than you found it”. But years later and after much cursing me out. if I recall..
    I have an x that was into horses and I bought her a long flat head screwdriver and bent it into the shape of a Hoof Pick.Last I heard (a dozen years ago) it was still in use! and her favorite! even though I am a piece of shit…. Sometimes a nice gift from your local parts supplier( one in which you have credit) is a greaaaaat gift! Especially if you are the guy with the auto shop biz….And have a girl with a Subaru that has a shitted out muffler.
    Best part is. they deliver it. Its just a phone call away. You Dont even have to wrap it just stick a bow on it.And pay for it later by making another job absorb the cost.
    But you cant take it out of the van till the 24th… Good thing she is scared of the van.
    Merry Fucking Christmas Phil.

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  5. I’m not sure why, but when I go Christmas shopping everyone keep a respectful two feet away from me. It might be the catcher’s mask and elbow pads. but then again maybe not…..

    Merry Christmas to All

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  6. Pingback: Sunday Linkage « Bacon Time !!!!!!

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