You only get one so you better think hard.
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Which one am I?
Bustednuckles
Documenting The Death Of America
You only get one so you better think hard.
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Which one am I?
The guy on the left.
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I’m spending Christmas in the Everglades, about as far from Christmas stuff one can get. Jealous? My lovely wife is doing me a big favor this year.
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I’m the guy on the left.
“Let’s just get this shit over with.”
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I really don’t care which one YOU are, Phil, I’m the one on the left. Bah! Humbug!
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Number “C”.
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I almost feel bad for the cloud cuckoo land dwellers who think life is some Hallmark Disney movie where everyone gets a cargo cult participation trophy from Uncle Sugar.
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Went to my doctor today; just a regular check-up. I wasn’t ill until I became nauseous with all the Christmas Muzak coming from the ceiling speakers. Pointed that out to doctor. I asked him to put me in a medically-induced coma until December 29. He said that would violate his oath. I said I I got insurance, and won’t tell anyone if you won’t …
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Years ago I was broke. Really, really broke. Everybody got me stuff for Christmas. Stuff I did not want or need. Stuff that required me to buy them something in return. With money I did not have. With money I needed for luxurys like electric, grocerys, used truck payments, utilitys, ect.
I begged everyone to spend the money they would have spent on me to buy something for themselves. Nobody listened. More unwanted crap rolled in.
So I got the bright idea, I made a deal with neighbor kid who raised rabbits.
I warned everyone that from now on, if I received a gift, I would give them a live rabbit. Not just any rabbit. The most popular bunny in the cage.
Ever since The Year of the Rabbits, I have not had to deal with Christmas Crap.
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Thats me on the left and my girlfriend unit on the right. In fact every year she puts that stupid fucking movie (Elf) on repeat and it plays in a hellish infinite loop while she douses our house with holiday decor.
The cats knock the ornaments off the tree and make noise all night rolling them around the hardwood floors.
Then there is the scented candles…. Jesus fucking Christ. I dont mind the pine smelling ones but 2 years ago I rounded up every single cinnamon smelling one and stashed them in the bottom of the recycle bin.
One time one of those wretched cinnamon brooms appeared on the wall. The permeating and overwhelming odor took my breath away the minute I walked in the house. I was frantically looking for the source of the nasal discomfort and then I found it. I Immediately used it to start the wood stove.
I HATE this time of year and I HATE this Fucking holiday. Happy birthday Jesus, but damn….. Its just so fucking stupid. And expensive. And the music sucks.
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OMG, the Wifely Unit is just like your GF.
Fuckin’ stupid ass Christmas movies all night, every night and that stink!
She buys those Glade plug in stink bombs. Smells like burnt cinnamon and drives me nuts because they come on and go off. Sometimes they get over powering.
Don’t do me a bit of good to bitch about them either.
Welcome to Christmas Hell brother.
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