I’ll Take 100% For A Thousand Alex

talking shit

To say I hated school would be a very mild understatement.

I fucking DESPISED school.

You see, my Mother taught me how to read at home before I even STARTED school.

On top of that, I was pretty fucking intelligent when I was younger, before I mercilessly slaughtered all those millions of brain cells for purely entertainment purposes.

I was way ahead of most kids intellectually from the get go and was thus bored completely out of my senses most of the time.

I can remember spelling College level vocabulary words as a challenge from a teacher , in the fourth grade.

Another example, I used a word in some fucking class that the damn foot ball coach of all people was trying to teach and not only did he tell me there was no such word, some smart ass little teachers pet jumped in and said the same thing.  This was in high school and I was a full blown stoner by then.

That word?

Procreate.

Seriously.

In High School.

They were adamant there was no such word and tried to make me look like an idiot in front of the whole class.

Let’s see now,

procreate

  • intransitive verb
    To produce offspring; reproduce.
  • intransitive verb
    To produce (offspring); reproduce.
  • To beget; generate; engender; produce: as, to procreate children.

Fucking idiots.

I sucked at Math in a big way but more than made up for it in other ways.

On my own, in my spare time, I literally used to read not only the Dictionary but the Encyclopedia too. I also taught myself  about Particle Physics but I couldn’t find anyone else to talk to about it. I dabbled in Astronomy, Anthropology, Geology and of course, Practical Engineering.

I was also a giant fucking trouble maker. I was constantly getting into trouble. My parents went to more teacher parent conferences than all of their friends, combined.

Some of the shit I pulled would have gotten me thrown in jail for sure if I had got caught.

Not just jail, prison.

I hated Homework with a white hot passion and basically just turned in enough work in general to keep from getting held back a year. Every year.

Failed every penmanship class I ever took and to this day have horrible hand writing. You can read it and that’s all I give a shit about.

I literally barely graduated high school with a 1.2 GPA after dropping out as a Junior and then going back in a year later to a different school.

Speaking of that, I went to TWELVE different schools. 3 of them in the second grade alone.

I used to frustrate the living shit out of my teachers because they all knew I was smart but they just couldn’t “reach me”.

That’s because school was a glorified baby sitting service in my eyes.

Even when I was a little kid I could smell the bullshit and I wasn’t having any of it.

To this day there is very little that I ever learned in a fucking school that is relative to living in the real world.

So it’s no stretch of the imagination for me to just assume that every teacher I ever had talked shit about me at least once.

I ain’t sorry either.

 

 

12 thoughts on “I’ll Take 100% For A Thousand Alex

  1. Except for the “penmenship” You are describing my life! I discovered books and the cute library assistant at an early age and with parents getting National Geographic, Look, Life, Air Force Magazine, Reader’s Digest I devoured every magazine that came into the house. I was also the problem child, I was a big kid and a ranch nerd and I hated bullies and would pound them into the dirt where ever I was, in class or right in front of the Principal. I was in his office sometimes more then class. Are you sure we ain’t cosmic twins?

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    • Same here. I was more interested in my truck and being outdoors, than anything related to High School.
      I still remember the look on the Principal’s face when I told him playing football would be a waste of my time. He almost had a melt down. Bastard had it in for me after that.

      Leigh
      Whitehall, NY

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  2. When i was 4-5 or so an Encyclopedia salesman showed up at the house and tried to sell my parent a set well apparently they liked to show pictures of baby animals and ask the kid what the name was The only one I missed was for an baby swan (cygnet BTW). i was bored as hell in school especially High school I was good at math but sucked at English and the teacher was going to hold me back a year. My parents went to middle school ( junior high then) and argued with her because I sucked at penmanship and punctuation (still do ). Later on she was substituting in high school and tried it again and again my parents shut her down again. If I was in school today I would have been in the ADHD section and being watched like a hawk as I would doodle drawing knives nothing else just because i was bored in study halls and I used to bring gun magazines to read in study hall. I later graduated college with a 3.55 GPA. in wildlife Biology Bachelor of Science Degree

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  3. Phil, dude, can feel your anger about formal education as I was chided in 3rd grade for making up my own mathematical system. I was also a binary grader, either the best or worst, depending on how the materiel interested me. Proudest moment was when I flunked religion in a parochial school. Straight a’s that quarter with a big Effing F (in red) in the middle of the column. Also took an IQ test that year. Parents had to go discuss the results with the nun-teacher. Seems I had landed at the outer end of 4 standard deviations and that I should go to a special school. Think Forrest Gump in reverse but with the same child like wonderment at being surrounded by stupid people. The thing is that my mom, when I was 9, told me that there were a lot of people who were going to cause me a lot of issues with why there were stupid rules for everything. I had to THINK my way around them. So that’s what I did and still do. Drives the troglodytes nuts. Keep punching back Phil.

    Spin
    Iligitima noncarborundum (Don’t let the bastards wear you down)

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  4. I’m with you Phil. I still get the fucking heebie-jeebies. It was interminable, felt like a life sentence as in when is this going to end! Finally I said adios motherfuckers and never looked back.

    Don’t get me wrong, I had some good teachers and learned some critical stuff. But nothing out weighed the fact I had ZERO choice, WTF!, unless I walk away. As a kid thats a pretty radical thing. You need a big set of balls to go against the system, endure socila stigmata as a drop out, at least in my youth you did. The idea a mind could need to go another path, hence a person in the form of a kid could choose for himself the life he wanted was absurd, unthinkable, it was impossible to tell an adult you had a clear vision and conceptualization of the direction you planned travel.
    It was “a prison for your mind” is how I experienced school. 50 plus years later I still shudder at the memories of being locked up daily in a kids prison. I still see in my memory clear as it happened yesterday a number of my class mates as much as I see many of my fellow American’s, they don’t realize they are slaves within a system, where in the least public education became basic training by malicious design for servitude to the all powerful state.

    All of our freedoms begin between the ears and within the heart, you got to think, and believe freedom and the blessings of liberty are yours and this is the primal thing, nothing is more legitimate, no other man, or man made thing, or “law’, or any thing which proscribes these precepts of liberty is superior to my natural liberty, and all that begins with yourself.
    Obvious to many of us, sure, but it can not be stated enough, because if we are going to remain Freemen, at least in our hearts and minds helping others to free their minds is the only way before we are free and unfettered by the plantation these “elites”, who are neither, have foisted on us in the name of absolute power & greed…as Seneca pointed out, “ideas are like seeds”, in no uncertain terms liberty is one heck of a dandy of an idea, he went on to point out once such seeds are planted in the right kind of fertile mind, they grow out of all proportion to their diminutive beginnings.
    To me, though I could only put into words what my intuitive mind and sense of things later told me, essentially beginning 20 years ago, school where I went was the place where free unfettered thinking and the exposure to any and all ideas where I could make up my own darn mind, where sent to die. Along with the minds receptacles for ideas. Only approved ideas are permitted, even the process of grokking the unalienable truth of our inherent natural freedoms.
    Is there any more insidious foul form of tyranny than brainwashing and indoctrinating us as children? Look at what common core is. It is a thinking process to be ingrained in little vulnerable minds which inhibits any and all individual thinking, critical thinking, and thinking outside the box. It is 2+2=5 and your a raaacists or something to denigrate you, ostracize, alienate you from your peers and the construct of unicorn fart dystopian Potemkin village society writ large.

    50 + years later nothing has changed of my perceptions. Only time and hopefully some bit of wisdom has enabled me to become maturer in my ability to employ critical thinking and expression. I certainly did not obtain that from the schools I went to.

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  5. Yes. School sucked big time. ‘Twas with me pretty much the same. Good in languages, biology and anything that was interesting to me but mathematics was a simple no-go. Only after around 2010 when I took advanced courses in my profession as a machinist I started liking math. Maybe because it was due to the fact that all those formulas and calculations were directly connected to my line of work – maybe the teacher/trainer played a role, too since he was totally consumed by mathematics, he really loved it and one could tell,

    What really sucked was that my father was a teacher not only working in the school I attended but he also was one of my class teachers. He handled me much tougher just to avoid rumors of nepotism.

    Now that I have children of my own I learned despising especially teachers of primary school. They’re the most stupid and arrogant bunch of their profession. All of them are women only and all of them are that much politically streamlined that one knows every answer they’ll give well in advance.

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  6. Most of my teachers sucked at their jobs, starting with my first grade teacher who pronounced me stupid. It was my second grade teacher who determined my eyesight was so bad I just couldn’t see what was being chalked up on the blackboard, and had a chat with my mother that sent us to the eye doctor where I was issued glasses and holy crap, lookit all that stuff out there I’d never seen before. Thus it began right then and there that if I detected even a faint whiff of bullshit from a teacher, I was done listening to that one on the spot, and my stubbornness caused no end of difficulty getting out of skool. But the good ones I paid close attention to and those few helped me to make it out alive. Those few understood that to teach, you must first be able to lead. After graduating in the middle of my class, alphabetically, but toward to bottom academically, the military taught me how to grown some ambition and direction, then trade skool and a series of lucky jobs and hard work eventually got me someplace in life. And I’m still like that even to this day, one whiff of bullshit and I’m done. I have no patience with those types, although I’ve learned to at least be polite about it………mostly.

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  7. High school was merely a politely-run jail; the purpose was to keep us off the streets where we might cause trouble. Some of us still found ways to commit “trouble” inside the prison fence (they never did find out who reprogrammed the bell schedule or how it was done). I sucked up every AP math and chem course offered, those were the only ones that offered any challenges. In college I discovered you could test through courses; still had to pay the tuition rate for the course hours, but the trade was 3-5 hours of testing to avoid an entire semester of hemorrhoid surgery with a rusty butter knife. Some high school programs now have CLEP which might help make jail time a little more palatable.

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