Couldn’t Have Been Me

Way too polite.

future boy

The shit you can do with electronic gizmo’s these days.

Them damn card readers drive me up the fucking wall though.

None of them are the same, some of them ask five fucking questions before they will complete the transaction, THAT’S IF the fucking chip reader can even read the chip to begin with . I get frustrated and tell the damn things to hurry up and take my electrons!

Here a few months ago now, the damn bank sent me a replacement card because the old one expired.

The old one didn’t have a chip, the new one does.

I remember thinking to myself at the time, here we fucking go.

Bigger than shit I start having trouble with the damn thing shortly after I get it. A month after I get it, the bank sends me ANOTHER one, informs me that the first one is going to expire in two weeks.


I ain’t even had this one a month. Then the NEW ONE starts giving me all kinds of fits.

I put up with that shit for about three weeks and finally had a belly full. Down to the bank, start bitching about all this bullshit with them sending me two cards in a month and neither one of them want to work worth a shit and now I want a THIRD fucking card!

Oh, the young feller says, yeah they were having some trouble with the chips on a batch of cards.

No shit?

But they won’t bother recalling the motherfuckers, they will just wait you out and make you get pissed off first and have to go to the bank and get a new one ordered.

Miserable sonsabitches!

It’s not like I enjoy using the fuckers in the first place but I am allergic to cash money.

If I have any cash I start breaking out in hives just thinking about it and have to get rid of it as soon as humanly possible.

Oh look, some stupid fucking thing I don’t need!  I have money, I’ll take three!

God forbid I go into someplace like Harbor Freight with a big wad of cash.

Yeah, give me a sec and I’ll back right up to the front door to making loading all this crap I don’t need into the back of my rig easier.

This is why the Wifely Unit takes care of the money around here. I’m horrible about that shit . That is why our bills get paid on time and why I now actually have a killer credit score.

Trust me though, I still go through money when I get the chance.

That fucking Ebay and  a few other outfits get right into my ass pocket one way or another on a fairly regular basis.

But I don’t have to swipe that fucking card to do it

10 thoughts on “Couldn’t Have Been Me

  1. $$$ is far more my preference. Far more painful for me to spend because I get to wave it bye bye when I purchase, vs. a card that just inserts and gone – not even a whisper. Keeps my spending in check.

    Plus with all of the card fuckery and theft – security issues that go with a card – nuh uh, not me.


  2. Guys be glad not living in Scandinavia. Most of these countries are gradually phasing out cash. Plastic money only in a couple of years.
    The vanguard of the European cashless society is – naturally – completely fucked up Sweden. They’re officially stirring the drums for implanted chips.


  3. Problem with cash is that I swear when I go into some stores they have a special scanner at the door that reads exactly how much cash I have and then they make sure when I leave I barely have enough money left for coffee……

    Hate the chip cards. Hate the freaking magnetic strip cards. They all are a pain in the neck for me. I always get the gas pump that the card reader cannot read my card and I get the prompt to go see the attendant. I then get to stand in line and then, miraculously, the card works perfectly and I am looked at as if I am a dummy for having to come inside…….You just cannot win against tech….

    The next worse thing are sites where you have your id and password to login but periodically they prompt you with a security question and so many of them do this and make you change them that I cannot keep all the answers straight. I even write them down in a semi neat way and I still end up resetting the password and going through the BS over and over.

    I like Ebay and Paypal and for the most part do my specialty shopping for doohickeys and thingamabobs there. I use Amazon Prime as well but far less often.


    • Amazon is always trying to sneak Prime into your choices. If you do it right, and can wait another day or so, purchases over $25 can be shipped for free. When you get to the checkout page, the shipment choice always defaults to the most expensive, or Prime (which is $13 a month now). Or you can go one or two choices down and get it in three or four days with no shipping charges.


      • Well, actually….No.

        If you don’t have Prime, and order enough to get the “free standard shipping if >$25” you’ll find that Amazon sits on the order for a week or 10 days before releasing it to be processed to punish you for not having Prime. “Want your order within a month? You should have bought a Prime membership.”

        Just like sheep, Amazon order processing has 2 speeds: dead stop and light speed. I don’t have a problem with UPS et al standard shipping speeds, it’s 3-5 days instead of 2, but deliberately delaying releasing the order to be picked, packed and shipped shows just what kind of a company Amazon is.


  4. Biggest issue with cards of any kind by whatever institution is that all this info is collected. True in a lot of cases that is the only way to purchase stuff, mostly through mail order/internet etc. But, cash is king, DO NOT EVER succumb to the policy of doing away with cash/coin (gold-silver). Simply pay cash, if you don’t have enough cash, do without until you do. Paying cash allows you to tell TPTB to pound sand, zero record of where /when/how you obtained what you got… They don’t like it…. but Piss off …..


    • That’s right. Although some of TPTB will be forbidding ammo and firearms merchants from accepting cash – all the better to know what you got when they come to do a Beto on you.


  5. I like to use cash , I got one of those Trump 2020 stamps & stamp every bill I get hold of. It’s fun watching the little bitches almost cry when I hand it to them.


  6. Phil, us old crusty fuckers remember the pre digital era. Remember all the hoopla how the computer age was the end of the petty piddling aggravations of the old fashioned dinosaur analog age?
    No More Paperwork!
    “Save The Tree’s” they said. (nothing like all the deadly heavy metals from electronics manufacturing saturating the ground and water though)
    It will be a new dawn, less labor time! (Shit, work in a manufacturing plant, every swinging dick behind a desk is on their puter watching fantasy football or porn 7.55 hours, and lord forbid don’t dare interrupt an engineer or supervisor for help or info having to do with your job)

    Technology for consumerism has evolved is all about getting the last fucking buck from everyone. Screw everything else. Layer over layer upon layer of compound idiotic redundant replication that complicates everything past any concept of common sense, and with each leap in advancement requires ever more people to run it and maintain it, it is a self feeding loop with no outlet now. And you need paper or other secure analog robust back-up even more than ever if your really wanting to archive anything.
    Imagine alone what IT departments in corporations cost in labor and resources, equipment, workspace. It alone right there negates any advantages far as I can see.
    I worked years at the most advanced rocket and jet engine rigid and flexible metal tube assembly shop in the world. We made everything from deep space satelite fuel cell assemblies to geo-orbit positioning rocket engines, every kind of jet turbine made we built parts for them.

    I worked in the all handcraft special tube shop, 5 of us old cadgers, we had absolutely no digital, NC or CNC equiupment, mandrel benders, swagers, manual and orbital GTAW welding, induction and vacuum furnace braze, lathes, mills etc, everything was analog, except measuring tools, and even those we used mostly dial and vernier. Our production rates where 1/3 to 1/2 of all other departments, that all had higher technology. And we did small lot orders too, 3 parts, 5 parts, maybe 10 pieces if it was a big order. You would think set up time would kill us. Nope. Good old gray mater analog memory, total hand built jigs and fixtures, and old fashion hand craft. We where the highest profit shop out of a 350 employee workforce.And not a one of us had a college degree, except one engineer, who said in all his career he never learned more than working hands on with us. And the guy was the sharpest engineer I ever worked with. We all learned a lot from eachother.

    Puters are making the world dumb. People are getting to the stage where not only do they know how to do nothing but punch keys, they don’t even know such a thing is possible as working analog process and procedure.

    It was getting to the point before I retired, with 44 years of welding/fitting experience, I would apply at some company, and in an interview it was plain those I talked with couldn’t concieve somebody could have the welding/metal joining experience I had. It didn’t compute. Of course, the days when your forman or bos was a guy who started out doing the nastiest menial job the was on the floor, a guy who came up thru the ranks. Now, a 2 or 4 year book smart wiseass with zero time making anything is your boss. The worse ones look bad all day, and have to play cover his arse in front of his bosses. Guess who gets thrown under the bus?
    But brother, can those worthies run a computer and create a power point spread sheet. Hoo Doggy them young bucks are managerial genius’s. And everyone agrees, they have to, they hired them. Must be the tools and equipment, and labor, need to upgrade. Throw money at digital domains, and poof! All problems will be solved.

    Another thing is CNC is destroying the old ways, it is killing how products and other tools, technology is made. Somethings are truly sacred, they have to be created in analog, it just is that way. We are loosing the handcraft tribal knowledge in timeless technologies such as foundry work, handcraft, tool and die work, every sort of pre digital analog skills, thousands of years of knowledge and knowhow passed down thru countless generations of how things are made.
    I’m not bullshiting here. It was getting to the point where I would get a particularly difficult part to fit and weld, and I would rely on my 40 plus years of knowledge, I would get it done, and even guys who where welders or fitters would look me right in the eye and state you can’t do that. After I did it and the parts passed and shipped. Some engineers would not even talk to us experienced old analog farts.
    I’m glad I’m out.
    But I really worry for the world. It’s not AI thats going to kill us off in droves eventually, it is the destruction of viable analog technology, it will, and does, leave billions helpless, vulnerable.

    Nope, I’m a old fashioned analog man. Don’t get me wrong, this here internet is pretty cool. But I could walk away this minute never look back and not miss a thing, get shit done same and live a great life.


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