Oh It’s On Now Chinaman.

I just spent the last six hours sweating, cursing and getting my narrow little ass kicked from one side of the driveway to the other and back again by that cheap Chinesium piece of shit belt sander I drug home yesterday.

I am not EVEN kidding here.

It all start out innocently enough, all I wanted to do was scrape off the remnants of the old sanding disc off the face plate, stick on a new one and see if the thing would work at all.

I should have known better.

Even that simple little chore immediately turned to shit.

I got out a good Snap On scraper, wheeled the thing outside and started in. As I’m looking at this thing it appears to have like a rubber backing on the face plate so I started working real gently prying the edges of the old disc up and working them around.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that instead of it having a rubber backing, it has a thick layer of old adhesive from having hundreds of discs stuck on and peeled off without anyone ever bothering to clean the fucking thing first.

As soon as I realized what the fuck I was dealing with I got busy scraping and after a couple of minutes I abandoned that bullshit completely and drug out a gallon of Acetone.

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I finally got the damn thing cleaned off but while I was fucking with it I would spin it a bit to get to a new angle of attack and I kept hearing like a scraping noise.

Pretty soon I figure I might as well plug the damn thing in to see if it works at all and HERE WE FUCKING GO.

As I was unwinding the cord I see it’s wedged in behind the cover and the belt deck. I gave a little yank but it didn’t budge.

Walk around and take a look see to what the fuck that is about and find this.

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This, is not good.

In the first place, that bolt is what tightens the belt deck into position.

There is also supposed to be TWO of them.

This would explain the rubbing noise I am hearing when I spin the disk.

OK, now I need to take the Aluminum disc off and the drive pulley to get at these bolts.

This is where the Chinaman got in his first sucker punch.

I’m peering down inside the broken plastic cover to see about loosening the inevitable set screw that is holding the Aluminum disc to the drive shaft.

There isn’t one.

It’s gone.

Before I was all done I found at least five missing set screws.

Fuck, this is going to be easier than I thought then, I’ll just get my Snap On puller set out, get a grip in three places and off she comes, right?

Oh fuck no.

The fucker doesn’t even think about budging

I dicked around with that for over an hour alone.

I tried being gentle because, Aluminum.

Tried squirting WD-40 everywhere I could reach.

It wasn’t moving.

I got out the Mapp Gas torch and applied a little heat around the center but avoided the shaft.

Still nothing.

More sweet talking, muttering and tightening of the puller.

Nope. I can see the damn disc starting to bend so I went and got a smallish hammer to smack the big bolt in the puller and try to shock it loose.

A couple of those and it actually moved, maybe 1/32nd of an inch but it did move. Aha, I got you now fucker I says to myself.

The wily Chinaman ducked and came in for another shot

That 32nd of an inch was all she wrote for the next twenty minutes.

I kept after it and it moved a little more but I ain’t liking how much force I am having to put on the puller and I can see the damn disc is starting to bend noticeably.

I moved the puller around a few times but after a quarter of an inch, the bitch stopped and that was that. I tried everything I could think of but it seized on the shaft and I finally cracked the fucking disc.

Now I am unhappy but it is what it is and the fucking thing has to come off, that’s all there is to it

I beat on the fucker from the back side with a long chisel but the damn disc finally let go completely.

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Yeah, OK bitch, now we get serious.

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The Chinaman laughed in my face at this point and came in low.

Not fucking happening. That is a serious puller in case you weren’t paying attention.

It worked for a little bit and then that Aluminum flat seemed to have welded it’s self to the shaft and the puller quit turning .

Enough is enough, I got out the angle grinder and a cut off wheel.

Unfortunately there wasn’t enough clearance to get all the way from one end to the other and that’s when I dug out two of my last resort, GO TO tools.

Brute Force and Ignorance.

Motherfucker you are coming off now.

A Big Cold Chisel and a Big Fucking hammer.

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I had to break it in half but it came off

The Chinaman was down but was right back up and came in from the side in a lightning swift counter attack.

Unbeknownst to me, while I am pounding the living dog shit out of that hunk of Aluminum, it is simultaneously driving the roller shaft out of the fucking bearings.

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So now the whole belt deck is flopping around loose and shit is trying to fall off.

Time to get the little cast iron belt drive pulley off so I can take the deck clear off.

Enter the fucked up shaft again.

Apparently the end of the shaft swelled up because of all of the force I was applying with the gear puller.

It would just spin and slide back and forth real loose until it got 3/4’s the way off the end of the shaft and I was right back to fighting that shit. It took another half hour but I finally got that off, only to find that the roller bearing needs to come off that way too and it sticks hard with a half an inch of shaft left.

I filed on it.

I used Emory cloth on it.

I worked it back and forth then filed on it some more.

It took at least another half an hour but I finally got the damn bearing off, the deck loose and the other bearing off. Now the shaft is stuck about half way out of the roller.

I took it in the garage, got a long drift punch and drove the fucker out.

Finally after almost six fucking hours, I had the cocksucker tore down.

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Dazed and reeling up against the ropes in the corner, I reach out with one last shot.

I plugged the damn thing in and flipped the switch to see if at the very least, the motor worked.

At that exact moment, the Chinaman came rushing forward to apply his Coupe De Grace.

I flipped the switch, immediately heard a horrible grinding, rubbing sound for a split second and it took off.

However, as I am peering through my bloodshot eyes, it looks to me like the pulley is kind of blurry.

I shut it off and restarted it a few times, kept hearing the noise at start up and bigger than shit, the front bearing on the motor is shot, allowing it to vibrate as it spun.

Oh, you fucking sonofabitch.

Now I have to take that thing off and tear into it.

There is something fucked up with the starter mechanism on top of the bearing or because of it.

Either way it’s gotta come apart too.

As it sits at this point, I basically paid forty bucks for a cheap machine stand.

Don’t be fooled though, this thing has pissed me clear the fuck off now after all of that.

I basically had half a Roll Away’s worth of tools out there thrashing on it, the Mapp gas torch, special pullers, large chisels, pry bars and at least four hammers.

Mad?

I have just begun to fight.

I’ll tell ya where I’m at right now.

Pissed the fuck off.

To the point I don’t give a fuck if it takes me the rest of my life and my last dime.

Hold my fuckin’ beer, I’m gonna go beat this Chinaman’s ass.

There WILL be more to this story as it develops.

Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

 

22 thoughts on “Oh It’s On Now Chinaman.

  1. I was once working as a cab driver for a real nice guy whose only serious flaw was that he was an awful businessman.
    One of his problems was an old Mercedes Diesel taxi he constantly had to tinker with because there always was something to repair. Since he deemed himself a clever businessman he never went to any of those big, certified garages (too expensive) and never used new parts for repair (too expensive) but instead went to backyard mechanics and kept them supplied with used Mercedes parts he always bought for a bargain at some scrapyard. After he fucked with that sonofabitch car for over a year I asked him why he kept that sucker in his fleet and dared suggesting that it might be better to get rid of that troublemaker for good and buy a used (cheaper) Mercedes.
    He almost howled in frustration and exclaimed:
    „I spent so much work and money on his fucking car that by now I guess I changed out almost every part! I can’t have done that for nothing! This bastard gotta work!“
    Needless to say that car was still in his fleet and still in dire need for repairs when he died three years later 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hell no but that’s not the point now. Now it has pissed me off so I must suffer.
      If there is one thing I am really, REALLY good at, it’s punishing myself.
      Now the fucker has moved to the top of the list of things I really hate but must throw time and money at.
      Because.
      Well, not the top of the list but close. Nothing will ever be able to top that damn Sprite….
      That has been a personal best for thirty years now. I don’t see anything breaking it’s streak at this point.

      Like

  2. Sancho! Go find me a BIGGER windmill!

    So you put $40 in initially? And now six hours of your time? Even at the (enlightened) minimum wage that’s now an additional 6x$15=$90, making it $130 you’re into that thing now….

    But being a stubborn, contrarian bastard, I can appreciate your position.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The bit about the Snap-On scraper reminded me that I am a thrifty fucker who
    is happy with the Craftsman brand given the price difference compared to
    Snap-On and Proto. But there were some tools that I preferred over Craftsman
    like genuine Channellock for adjustable pliers, Rigid pipe wrenches, and the
    classic Proto gasket scrapers, and I especially loved the classic Proto Allen
    wrench sets. I bought my first set in about 1978 for 40 bucks in a metal box.
    Today, the fuckers are closing in on a C-note.

    PS That busted hub is going to be a bitch to repair and Motherfucker to find. I
    also dig that old school puller!

    Liked by 1 person

    • All of the Snap On tools I still have are leftovers from when I worked at the dealership mostly.
      I spent some serious money on that shit back in the day. I have a set of standard Flank Drive wrenches that go from 3/8’s to 1 inch I think I paid almost $300.00 for those fuckers back in the mid 90’s. The last time I price checked them they wanted almost $1,000.00 for the same set. That was several years ago so I would imagine they are over a Grand now.
      I don’t buy that shit anymore but even Proto’s quality went to shit years ago.
      Craftsman went off a cliff in the early 90’s, Stanley Tools bought Mac tools out fifteen years ago and their stuff went downhill too.
      There are certain things I won’t buy at Harbor Freight but if you look closely, stuff like their hand wrenches have come a long damn way. I bought a set a couple years ago that I would put up against quite a few name brands in a heart beat.
      Their sockets and screwdrivers still suck though. I used to like SK tools but they are getting really hard to find.

      Like

      • My dad was a huge fan of SK, and from what I hear they are still
        high-quality tools.

        I laughed when I first saw this because it was so true:

        Like

  4. Hahahahaha!! Belly laughing and spitting my coffee.
    Sir, I GET IT, 100%!!
    I just did 3 day battle with a CZECH and was about to throw in the towel. I was bloodied and blind with rage.

    After a moment of accepting i was about to be head kicked and finished.
    A moment of Serenity came upon me.

    I threw a final throat punch at the bitch, KO’d the bastard.

    Merca Won!!

    Like

  5. I just got the industrial Delta belt/disc sander. All cast iron and solid as an Abrams Tank. Needed a new switch. Guy gave it to me for free. Tossing a little salt on the wound because you made me snort hot coffee out my nose.

    Like

  6. Talk about TARGET FIXATION!!!!!!!

    Flew that dive bomber right thru the deck of that enemy carrier……..

    Yeah, you can fix it but you know that there are other gremlins waiting to leap out at you.

    Like

  7. Some climb mountains, some run for “best time,” and there are hundreds other time burning, financially foolish endeavors that people do just to prove they can. And grumpy old men with mechanical ability will “make it work” no matter what it takes. If I were your neighbor I’d look at it, tell you that you will never get it going, …..and then turn and walk away smiling to myself.

    Like

  8. Phil, you gotta put up a camera! I missed six straight hours of pure gold. Reminds me of Homer Simpson with all his anger and hatred directed at inanimate objects.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve thought about it but Google owns Youtube and they have turned into such censor happy prudes that by the time I got done editing out all the cussing just to make them happy that six hour long love fest would turn into an incoherent fifteen second clip.
      😉

      Like

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