I know some people think it’s irrational and kind of petty but I can remember cleaning this cheap POS up and sharpening it last Winter before putting it out in the shed.
I just found it out in the back yard, where according to the Wifely Unit, it has been laying for months.
Granted, it is exactly what I just said, a cheap Chinesium piece of shit but dammit it just irritates the living shit out of me to see lazy motherfuckers go grab somebody else’s tools and then just throw them down when they are done using them.
The part that really pisses me off is that I found it less than ten feet away from the damn garden shed where I put it after I cleaned and sharpened it.
You are so fucking lazy you can’t walk ten feet to put something away?
Of course Wifey thinks I am an asshole for bitching about it and I am over reacting.
She ain’t the one that did it either. I have a really good idea who did though.
The problem here is that this is just one incident in a long list of such incidents.
Just like the rakes, the shovels, the wheel barrow and every other motherfucking piece of yard equipment around here.
The worst one is the damn long handled loppers.
I have literally lost count of the times she has asked me where they are.
How the fuck would I know?
How about the fucking garden shed where they belong?
Have ya looked in there?
Because you know they never got put back the last time they got used?
She gets pissed off at me every time I use them because I am a ruthless motherfucker when it comes to trimming shrubs and bushes.
When I cut shit back, I don’t fuck around.
Hence she pretty much tells me to keep my fucking hands off of them.
I remember cleaning and sharpening those fuckers the same day I did that little mattock as a matter of fact.
I find them laying in the yard, sometimes in the garage, sometimes laying on the patio table.
One never knows but I’m the asshole when I bitch about it.
This is why I get pissed off when people borrow my tools and don’t put them back. For one thing, at my age, I have enough trouble remembering shit.
If someone grabs one of my tools and doesn’t put it back, I start wondering if I have finally lost my fucking mind when I can’t find it because even though I might use something and not put it away immediately, I can usually remember where I put it.
That and because it’s MINE.
Ask me before you borrow any of my tools.
It’s called Courtesy and maybe you should look that up to refresh your damn memory.
When I finally do find it and it’s laying out in the fucking dirt, covered with rust, I tend to get a bit pissy about it.
And before anyone starts thinking ‘Wow, this guy is an anally retentive jerk about his tools”, let me say that it’s not the case and you have missed the point completely.
It’s what we used to call COMMON FUCKING SENSE.
Even though basically all you can buy now is cheap Chinesium crap when it comes to garden tools, unless you want to pay Stupid Money for stuff like RIGID tools, they still cost SOME money. Anymore, even paying top dollar for brand name stuff is no guarantee the shit wasn’t slapped together and shipped out of China.
I don’t know about anyone else but I can’t see any sense in having to buy new rakes, shovels, loppers and shit like that EVERY FUCKING YEAR because the people around you are either,
A. Too lazy to put shit away.
B. Too stupid to put stuff away
I mean I even go so far as to apply oil to all of the wooden handles on all of that shit around here and after finding out they want twenty dollars for a motherfucking hammer handle the other day, I can feel absolutely justified in being disgusted with lazy sonsabitches that can’t be bothered to walk ten God Damned feet to put something back in out of the weather when they are done using it.
So now this little rant is over but I’m here to tell ya, you can absolutely count on me being an absolute bastard when it comes to this kind of shit, forever.