At Least Kiss Me First

You don’t necessarily gotta tell me I’m pretty but even this ugly old whore has some standards.

As you are probably well aware of by now, I’m a Tool Junkie

This time of year there are literally Yard sales all over the fucking place.

Every once in a while I’ll stop at one of these things just to look around and see if there are any deals on old tools and such.

Every once in a while I get lucky too.

A while back I found a few old hammer heads at a couple of these things pretty cheap.

A small Copper one, a medium and a small Ball Peen at two different places.

They are usually buried in a box or a bucket full of crap and I can normally get them dirt cheap because they are rusty, corroded and dirty.

Normally it only takes a few minutes on a wire wheel and they clean right up.

Then they lay around.

Eventually I’ll remember them and remind my self to pick up a handle or two for them.

Today was one such day.

I went out in the garage, dug around, rounded up a few and actually found a new handle that I had bought a while back for such a day. I went in to work some over time today and stopped in at a Wilco store on the way. It’s basically a Farm supply/hardware store.

I figured if anyone would have replacement hammer handles, it would be them.

I finally had to ask some young guy but they did have some.

This is where the attempted rape occurred officer.

Let me ask you guys something.

Have you priced hammer handles recently?

If you haven’t then you had better sit down.

I took one look at what they were asking for them and about shit a ring around myself.

I paid anywhere from fifty cents to maybe a dollar for these hammer heads.

Get a load of this,



For a hammer handle.

You see the empty slot in the middle?

There was one left for $8.99 and I snagged it.

When I got to the counter the girl scanned it and told me it was $17.99.

I said OH NO NO NO NO.

I’ll be right back.

So I went and took a picture of the price tag and went right back up there and showed it to her.

She apologized and fixed the price. It still wound up costing me almost ten bucks with tax.

I told her for eighteen bucks, I would tear down pallets and MAKE one first.

Don’t laugh, I’ve done it. Made one out of Oak and it turned out nice too.

So while I was standing there with my jaw hanging open over the price of hammer handles, I also see they have axe handles. I need one of those too for a medium Double Bit I got from my Sister In Law when I got the walk behind tractor.

This is where it gets really stupid.


Uhm, no.

I’m not paying thirty five fucking dollars for an axe handle.

Not happening, ever.

Just a bit to the right of these axe handles are brand new axes, complete with handles.


For two dollars more.

I mean who are these fucking people and more importantly, how stupid do they think the rest of us are?

I bought the damn hammer handle because I had already gone through the hassle of getting there through a traffic construction zone and then taking the time to find it. Almost ten bucks out the door.

I did manage to get handles on the heads too.


The one on the far right is one I already use and the handle for the little one I made out of some doweling I had laying around. It’s just a little Tap Tapper anyway.

I’ll use the stubs I cut off for file handles later.

After I got to work I was telling a guy about all this and he told me about a place he used to go to and I can remember almost the exact thing when I was younger, in several different places.

He used to go to this little General Store kind of outfit that was way the hell out of town. Out on the front porch they had an old wooden barrel full of axe handles poking out of it. You could sort through them and pick out any one you wanted, for three dollars.

I remember seeing that shit many times when I was a kid.

Apparently we are both ancient old bastards now and those days are long gone.

I guess the moral of this story is that I need to start shopping these yard and garage sales hard from here on out.

I’m betting 95% of people have no idea how much some of this stuff has gone up.

Just for shits and grins I am going to do some On Line looking to see if it’s just this one place with the crazy prices or if the rest of the world has lost it’s collective marbles too.

At these prices, even if I have to pay five buck for a decent old hammer with a handle on it at a yard sale I will be way ahead in the larger scheme of things.

You can bet your Bippy that I will be scouring these sales from here on out for cheap deals while they are still out there.




21 thoughts on “At Least Kiss Me First

    • I take it that faint, high pitched squealing sound I heard a few minutes ago was your asshole puckering.
      A hundred and fifty bucks.
      That fucking Al Gore must be behind this.


  1. Holy shit! I figured that Amazon might have a good deal from someone. I did find one at $3.95, but they also wanted $6.95 on top of that for shipping. I remember going to the local hardware store and paying about $1.50 for one for my 3 lb sledge. If my memory doesn’t fail me I also got a replacement for a broken shovel handle for about three bucks………


    • You just don’t see those kinds of guys anymore which is a crying shame.
      I place the blame for that on over regulation.
      Now someone like that would have to have a business license, insurance and pay city county, and state taxes out the ass just for the privilege of trying to make a living by providing a needed service.
      Instead of just doing it and keeping any meager profits to feed himself and his family.
      The same thing with guys that used to come around and sharpen all of your knives and scissors.
      When is the last time you even heard of that?


      • I was thinking of that when after Sixbears made his comment about the knife sharpening guy, I remember them, and you could buy good knives from him too. My mom would buy only knives from him because they stayed sharp and he would keep them that way after for free.


  2. I know it is that bad out here beyond fly-over, mud central SD. Young guys aren’t buying it and so they don’t move as much and I think these companies that make the stuff knows there is a reset coming and want to be the richest scum bags around the dung heap. When I pay that much, I want a kiss, flowers and dinner made for me; then I will bend over and take it in the arse.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The title to this reminded me of a visit to a large Chevy Dealership in my area. My son’s 2004 Impala had the a/c compressor take a dump. He asked me to take it to the dealership and have it replaced. They take it into the shop and tear it down. Service writer comes up to me and tells me that if i don’t replace the dryer, the compressor won’t be covered under warranty. I say, what the hell, replace it. Car’s done and they call me to the cashier. Bill for $1400. I asked, “What, no kiss?” He just looked at me. I asked, “where”s my complimentary tube of KY jelly?”
    They have no sense of humor.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I remember back when I worked bangin’ nails that an all steel Estwing framing hammer should go for no more than a dollar an ounce. Geez I’m scared to even look at the prices now after seeing this just for wood handles

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not quite that old but yea, I can remember when they were about a buck apiece.
      Talking to the Wifely Unit, it ain’t just hammer handles that have gone through the roof over the years.
      She spent ninety bucks at Wally World for two small plastic bags of goods and two five dollar bags of charcoal yesterday.


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  6. I do a lot of shopping on the ‘secondary’ market, ie. yard and garage sales, thrift stores, and estate sales. Unless there is something really special about an unmounted head (Plvmb, Proto, etc) I’ll pass in favor of a handled tool. I always and I mean always buy the handles when I see them, because despite my desire to only buy handled tools anymore, I do still have a drawer full of heads waiting for handles. Most old guys had a handle around, just in case, to save a trip to the store in the middle of doing the work. Those handles go CHEAP in the yard/estate sale.

    Just today, I bought a new in box, (NOS) Brown and Sharpe combo set, tri square, round attachment and protractor head still in the grease paper for $18. I’ve got two Starrett combo sets, but who would pass up B & S? I also got a shoe box of odds and ends for $14 which included a B&S 12 inch rule in like new condition, a couple of HUGE taps, 1 1/4″ and 2″ NPT, several adjustable size bits for a bit and brace, new condition, and several punches, large ezouts, and misc ironmongery… I couldn’t get my money out fast enough. None of it was even ‘rusty gold’, but was all ready to go to work. Other than the combo set, it was all in a bucket, with the usual china and taiwan combo wrenches and worn out screwdrivers and broken ratchets.

    You won’t find it if you don’t look! So I look!



  7. Still swingin the solid steel Estwing I bought when I got into commercial construction, 25-plus years ago… Wood handles are what ya get when ya buy the hardhat Harry fisher price my first tool kit….. I’m no elitist, far from it but if I ever manage to fuck this one up (not likely) I’ll just get another exactly like it… Hell, ya might outlive me and get a swingin deal on it at my estate sale! 😉


  8. If you go to the Steam up at antique powerland, Brooks, Oregon last weekend in July and first weekend of August there is a vendor at the swap meet selling all sizes of handles out of his trailer for a couple bucks each

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I didn’t know about this. The name sounded familiar so I looked up where Brooks is.
    Just North of Salem, a little over and hour from me.
    Hmm, I wouldn’t mind going to see that.
    I know I have a damn wedding to go to around that time though.
    I’ll try to see if I can’t work it in. Thanks for the heads up.


    • Hmm, wedding or antique tractors… you have to decide? I know where I would be going wifely units or not. Weddings are for wimmins. Manly things always take precedent.


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