Lemme run this one past ya.
So my “normal” work schedule has been 4-10’s for a few months now.
Monday through Thursday “swing shift”, 3 PM to 1 AM. I usually get back home about 1:30.
40 hours a week, right?
Every once in a while we have extraordinary circumstances and have to put in some longer hours, last Friday I went in voluntarily for 4 hours to help finish up putting a machine back together to make a little extra money.
Two weeks ago they come out with this notice about some Mandatory Training for First Aid, CPR and Fire Extinguisher training.
They split the entire work force of us plebians in two and scheduled both 8 hour classes for consecutive Fridays, starting at 7 AM.
See anything there?
So when those of us on the later shift pointed out that it would give us a six hour turnaround, we were told that we could leave a couple of hours early on Thursday night so we could maybe get some sleep.
Except wait a minute.
That would mean I wouldn’t get my 40 hours and they only pay overtime after that 40 hour thresh hold.
So I would basically be getting up shortly after I normally go to sleep. so I could go sit in this training class, on my normal day off, for straight time for the first two hours.
OHHHHHH no no no no no we aren’t.
So I went in two hours early and got my 40 hours in.
Then I got home about 11:30.
I tried relaxing for a bit and finally tried to just go to sleep about 12:30 but I had a hard time getting there. Then I had to get up twice to piss before my phone alarm went off at 5:45.
I gargled down a cup of coffee, got cleaned up a bit and left here at 6:15 so I could stop at the convenient mart on the way. I get there, punch the clock and go to the conference room and see a bunch of other guys standing around. 7 AM comes and goes. A few minutes later my boss come in and tells us there was some kind of mix up on some woman’s part back on the East Coast and now the instructor won’t be there until 8 AM.
This is another company doing the training.
Allow me to pause here for a moment for effect and let all that sink in.
The guy finally shows up and starts unloading all his training materials and we get started. He introduces himself and the informs us that his previous employment was being a Roadie for Rock and Roll bands…
I have been through these classes numerous times over my forty year career.
I have also noticed a definite decline in the quality of information in the First Aid content until it is now to the point of almost being completely worthless. The usual video’s and a course study handout that is unbelievably brief.
Personal protective wear and call 911 is about the sum of it.
If your kid has a splinter in his finger, the first thing you need to do is put on protective eye wear and non latex gloves so you don’t get any germs from your phone when you dial 911.
I can literally see the fruits of the education system being reaped here.
Saying it has been Dumbed down would be being kind.
The CPR class was a little better, you might survive cardiac arrest if someone nearby has taken this class, as long as they or someone else has a cell phone and an AED, one of those portable defibillators.
The Fire Extinguisher class is yet another video along with some discussion and they test your ability to use an extinguisher with a simulated fire on a screen like a television set and a fire extinguisher that has a laser pointer on the end of the hose. You point at the “fire” on the screen and sweep it back and forth at the bottom.
This old man was the fastest out of 12 guys and put it out in 4.7 seconds.
Some took 3 times that long.
The company did buy pizza for lunch and the instructor was smart enough to see that we were a bunch of grouchy working guys so he burned through the whole thing in record time. I got out of there at 1:30 instead of 3. I wasn’t home a half hour and I was out cold. Slept for an hour and a half.
So now my sleep schedule is all fucked up too.
After all that I am now certified in all 3 subjects and pretty much just plain certifiable.
I have decided that I ain’t doing Fuck All the rest of the day, It’s already 5 in the afternoon, no point in getting started on anything now.