You Gotta Be Kidding

I just woke up a few minutes ago after only six hours of sleep because I had to take a piss. Weird fucking dreams all night too  and I already had to get up once to go.

So I am tired.

Staggered into the kitchen, threw half a cup of coffee in the microwave while I fumble fucked around making a new pot without my glasses, so everything was fuzzy as fuck.

Did it more by muscle memory than sight I think. Got my coffee, grabbed my glasses and my smokes to step out for the morning ritual

and it’s fucking snowing.


In March.


It’s been so damned long ago that it snowed here this late I honestly can’t remember it.

I will be so glad when this cold snap goes back to where it belongs.

On the flip side of that, you watch.

In six months I’ll be whining because it’s too fucking hot.

The Pacific North West is supposed to be rather mild weather wise. Most of our weather is driven by the Pacific Ocean which is only 100 miles away from here but a lot of it also comes from the Gulf of Alaska, especially in the Winter time.

The rest either comes from the West, South West or up from California.

Again, except in the Winter, when we get the cold that comes from the East, which pours through the Columbia River Gorge like a big funnel and freezes the shit out of everything.

This has been a strange year for weather. The first part of Winter was extremely mild. It’s like the calendar got rotated backwards by two months.

I am hoping that this is the last gasp of Winter.



Right after I posted this my phone rang and it was my buddy Grizz who is up around Seattle and is cooling his heels at a car dealership because his car shit the bed on him.

Hate to hear that.

He said not only is it snowing up there also but that they are saying it’s supposed to snow clear through the weekend.

Fuck that!

I think ours is supposed to be very sporadic, brief episodes, be done tomorrow and it’s not going to stick anyway.

It’s just supposed to be purdy  don’tcha know.

Yeah, purdy.

Purdy much a pain in the ass.


13 thoughts on “You Gotta Be Kidding

  1. I have sympathy for you…. ha ha ha ha …. not sucker! As I gaze out at 4 feet of snow and a helluva lot more ‘casted this weekend.


  2. I feel your pain…it’s been weird-assed weather here in the Texas Hill country as well. 80º one day, 24º the next…I just want some stability in mah life…


  3. Look at the bright side, today in SW Michigan it warmed up to 21F, yesterday’s high was 14 and we are in single digits at night. The weather pattern looks to remain this way for some time with a teaser warmup Sat/Sun to 40, then back down she goes. Just grin, cuss and bear it.


  4. Minus 15 up here in North Maine.
    The asshole from Cali that moved in next door put up an 8 foot fence so that his GF could sunbathe.
    The snow is within inches of the top.
    The GF went back to Cali.
    Hope she visits this summer, if we have one.


  5. Morning, Phil, now the weather pukes are saying this weekend is supposed to be sunny, open mouth insert foot, assholes.

    The car got fixed, didn’t have a choice. It’s a saving grace that part of the repairs were under warranty.

    Have a good day, my friend.


  6. Better snow than Tornadoes like they just had in ‘Bama …

    “I cried when I had no snow shovel, until I met a man who had no home to shovel snow from”
    (with apologies to Helen Keller).


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