Oh my God do I hate to tell this one on myself.
Unfortunately, it’s just too good not to share.
Anyone who has been a regular reader here for any length of time knows about this 89 Ford Bronco I bought last year and is familiar with all of the fucking nightmares I have had with it ever since.
Well there are a couple more little issues that I may have touched on lightly but don’t remember going into much.
Shortly after I got it running reliably enough to actually drive the fucking thing, I noticed that I needed to put some gas in it.
I went up the road a bit and whipped in front of a gas pump at the local Quickie Mart, jumped out, flipped open the little gas door and immediately see that it has one of those damn locking gas caps.
I reached in, yanked the keys out of the ignition and started going through them.
No motherfucking key.
You have GOT to be shitting me.
Since it’s a Ford and I have many years of experience working on the dirty cocksuckers, I know from dealing with this issue in the past that if you are lucky enough to have any key that will fit in the lock cylinder, you have a pretty good chance of getting the damn thing off.
The trick is to get a key in there and then tilt it hard in the cylinder, jamming the teeth of the key into the tumblers. At the same time, rotate it just enough trying to spin it off until you feel it grab. Then you just spin it off. If it doesn’t grab good it will just spin and click. This takes patience and sometimes many attempts.
Well I was lucky enough that my mailbox key fit and after some dicking around, I got it open and filled it up.
Now, knowing all this, do you think for one second that I was smart enough to go get a new gas cap?
Oh fuck no.
I have been doing this for just over a year now.
Yes, I am both forgetful and as stubborn as a Missouri Mule.
Yesterday, after I climbed in the bastard to go to work, the sun was actually shining, right in the windshield.
For some unknown reason, I leaned over a little farther towards the passenger door than normal when I went to stick the key in the ignition.
Now normally, this is pretty much the view I have when I get in it and when I’m driving,
You may also recall all of the wiring and shit I had to yank out from under the dashboard shortly after I got it too. I have pretty much seen everything there is to see in, under and around that fucking steering column.
You would think, right?
Notice where the ignition key is in this picture.
This picture is using the flash so everything is lit up.
Would ya look at that.
This whole damn time.
Do not ask me why I never noticed it because I honestly couldn’t tell you, except that without that flash, that little cubby hole is usually as dark as the bottom of a well and I have never paid a lick of attention to it. I could also swear that I checked there at least once.
The sunlight coming through the windshield reflected off of something and I just happened to lean over just enough to catch a little sliver of something shiny just at the right moment.
Just the edge of it was winking at me.
Now you understand why I was reluctant to share this but like I said, it’s just too good not to.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit the locks on the damn ski racks up over the cab.
I’m gonna have to drill those bastards out.