If I Had Known It Hurt So Much To Get Old, I Would Have Never Done It

My dear old Grandmother used to say that to me when I was a little kid and I had no idea what she was talking about.

I sure as shit do now.

Of course, I have been living with pain every day for the last 39 years now anyway with this fucked up lower back.

But now I know what she was talking about when she used to tell me she had “Mystery Pains”.

If you are over 50 years old, you know exactly what she was talking about too.

Those days when you go to sleep at night feeling fine and wake up the next day and your shoulder hurts.

Or you can’t turn your head because you suddenly have a crick in your neck.

Or your knees hurt.

You know what I’m saying. Weird shit with no apparent cause

Well,  I turned 59 years old about an hour ago and I can feel every minute of it right now.

I just got home from work and my feet are killing me, I can’t hardly stand up straight because my lower back is killing me and I have had a weird crick in my neck for the last 3 days.

I have no idea where that one came from.

Being in pain lets you know you are still alive I guess and that beats the alternative all to hell for sure.

I decided two weeks ago that I was going to say Fuck It and take today off.

I’m taking Monday off too.

Gonna have me a little mini vacation.

Don’t give a shit if I get much of anything done either.

I’ll probably just go fuck around out in my own little Personal Disaster Area and maybe see if I can’t find the floor in a couple of spots. If I get real ambitious, I may just try to find the top of a work bench too.

I dunno, I ain’t promising anything.

Either way, I ain’t going to work so that suits me just fine.

A little R&R is in order and I have low expectations.

Y’all have a nice day now and thanks for stopping by.

27 thoughts on “If I Had Known It Hurt So Much To Get Old, I Would Have Never Done It

  1. Happy Birthday you broke down muddafuckah ! :^) Naw seriously – have an awesome day.

    I’m 56 and know of what you speak. Bouncing back after hard manual labor takes several days, with Day One being ‘Holy Shit I’m Old !’ thoughts, every fiber in affected area hurts. Straightening out back after sitting down for a straight hour – you hear audible ‘clicks’ like a ratchet . . .


  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Turned 69 Dec. 30th. Yup, gettin’ old’s a b****, but it beats the alternative. Paraphrasing from the Kaminsky Method: “Every morning I wake up and wonder what part of me isn’t working.”


  3. Happy Barf Day Phil. I knowest how ya feel. Iffn I knew how it was like at this age I would have chased faster cars, rode hotter women, drank more rotgut booze and died younger and leave a better looking corpse. Isn’t it funny at 20 we were chasing hot little wenches, but at our age we are chasing 3/8 wrenches out from under the bench.


  4. Happy Birthday!!!! I am just a few years older and all I can say is don’t look ahead. If you do you will not be able to get out of bed.

    The hardest part of my getting older (as you are finding out too) is that the things that you used to do that were effortless now have you thinking, ‘How the hell did I do that so easily?’. Truth is that we are in a war with gravity. We are slowly and inexorably being drawn towards the ground. Think about it.

    Your feet hurt because of gravity. Your back hurts because of gravity. Every part of your body is dedicated to fighting this force and as we get older we start losing the battle. That hurts.

    Hate to rain on your birthday but the sooner we all get this idea settled into our heads the sooner we can stop worrying about it and keep living as happy as we can be.


  5. Happy B-Day. I’m going to be 72 in a few weeks and can relate to “being in pain just lets you know you’re still alive”. When you find the bench top and/or floor, we want pictures. Oh, I still smoke too, BFYTW!


  6. will be 70 on feb 7th
    take it easy when you feel the need when you look back you will wish you had let things heal now. you will just reinjure and every time harder to recover rest and relaxation is what you need take care of yourself the company you work for won’t do it and you are replaceable as far as they are concerned you are not replaceable to your family so rest for the benefit of your family.


  7. Happy Birthday!

    As for fighting gravity, when I wake up in the morning my fingers don’t work. I can’t open and close my hands until I try a few times, and force some fluid into the joints. My fingers never fight gravity.

    For the rest, I just want some Zerk fittings on my knees and a few other joints. Just hit them with a little Teflon grease now and then.

    Mine is Sunday. Medicare starts tomorrow. Gulp.


  8. Happy Birthday!!

    Yeah, it’s heck getting old, i but relish the idea that I may get to collect some Social Security benefits while there’s something left in the pot.


  9. I am the youngest–by far–of four. My dad was 42 when I was born and my mother was 39. I had NO IDEA why my dad was such a grouch when I was growing up. Sure, he was a veteran of the Depression and two wars, but still. Now I’m 56 and know more about the old man than I would care to admit. Just wish he was still around so I could apologize…


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