The Red Neck Construction crew, consisting of…. me.
I’ve been out thrashing all fucking day.
I tried to get started yesterday but flat run out of gas pretty quick and just came back in the house and put my feet up.I’m still burnt the fuck out from last week at work.
Yesterday I went up to Wally World to get a new battery for the Caballero.
It’s getting pretty old and for once in my entire life, I decided to do something before it became an emergency and I also had another use for it.
That turned into the usual clusterfuck because, Wally World. I wound up going back up there this morning and getting that bullshit straightened out. There is no quick way to buy a battery from those motherfuckers and that is the name of that tune.
Two trips, wait in the fucking Customer Service line both fucking times and OH MY GOD, IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN.
Twenty fucking people waiting in line, retarded and extremely cranky employees then throw my grumpy ass into that mix.
Let me just say that I made sure to leave a couple of really heavy batteries right on their fucking counter for them to deal with for my trouble and leave it at that.
Of course when I finally got home, got the hood open and what tools I figured I’d need out, the VERY FIRST THING that happened was I broke that little fucking hold down bolt right the fuck off in the battery tray. It was corroded to a fare thee well and rusted in to the point that it may have just as well been welded in.
That turned into an hour and a half fiasco because of course I couldn’t get a straight shot on it to drill it out and drilled it off center. The battery tray its self looked like something out of a horror movie and had a quarter of an inch of that crystalized green / white battery corrosion shit all around the battery. Amazingly enough, the actual battery terminal connections were in pretty good shape. I douched it hard with battery cleaner then got out the cordless drill and a cone shaped wire wheel and went after it.
Two gallons of water to wash it all down, dried it out and then painted it again.
Stuck the battery in, put a new bolt in the fucked up hole after I had retapped it and stuck the cables on. Done.
I have been wanting to dig that fucking Sprite out to make room for another project but the battery in that was the fucked up one out of the Bronco that I swapped out last Spring.
Another reason I wanted to get a new one for the Caballero. That one has both kinds of terminals and still holds a charge, even though it says it’s seven years old.
I took the fucked up one out of the Sprite in for Wally Worlds famous We Don’t Tell You About Core Charge. That was the beginning of the first Go Round with those sonsabitches. After I got done with those assholes and got to leave with the correct battery I finished the Caballero and then started in on the Sprite.
It’s been sitting since about June if I recall. That was the last time I messed around and got it started, then took it for a spin around the block to make sure everything worked before I put it back in the garage.
It took quite a while but I finally got the fucking whore started again.
After I let it sit there and warm up for a minute, I got back in it, put it in reverse, backed up about a foot and then hit the brakes.
The pedal went straight to the floor.
You have NO FUCKING IDEA how pissed off I am over that.
I paid that British Specialty shop serious fucking money to go through those fucking brakes just a couple of years ago. They worked fine five months ago. One side of the brand new master cylinder was bone fucking dry but here’s the weird part, there were no puddles under that bitch anywhere except the usual transmission oil that normally leaks. Nothing.
I didn’t even bother checking the insides of the wheels. Fuck that dirty fucking cocksucker. I am so disgusted with that fucking thing I could scream.
I pulled it out, shut the fucker off and left it in gear.
Maybe some especially stupid motherfucker will try to steal it overnight.
If they are successful it will be more than sweet fucking justice on their asses.
Be very careful of that which you fuck with, that cocksucker will EAT YOUR SOUL bitches!
Next fucking item.
I went down to Lowes sometime the other day, Friday must have been, same day as my little Wally World fiasco, and bought a fucking 2X12. There is obviously a serious deficiency in my planning and execution process as you will soon see.
I wanted something to build with to mount that damned old Post Drill with finally and get that motherfucker out of my way.
It’s been sitting next to it’s older brother on a pair of sawhorses, crammed up against the side of the Sprite.
See how all of this bullshit is interconnected now?
Gotta move the post drills and the saw horses to get to the Sprite. the Sprite has a fucked battery in it. Gotta take the one out of the Caballero to keep from having to hook the battery charger/booster to the fucking Sprite every time I want to start it. Gotta get a new battery for the Caballero before I can do any of these other things because that is what I use to run around fetching supplies and parts with to do all of these other damn projects.
Then I gotta move the damn Sprite to make room to move the drills and saw horses back into the spot where the Sprite was so I have room to work.
It’s like I have my very own little ecosystem going here.
Everything is interdependent on everything else.
Sometimes I question my sanity.
For good reason.
I can be a bit of a crazy fucker to begin with.
Finally got the post drills situated and find out I needed a 2X8 and not a 2X12.
Fuck, me, running.
I have some 2X6 laying around, I’ll just make that work.
I fucked around with that little project for a good five or six hours, easy.
Wrestling that heavy motherfucker around, drilling holes, measuring shit, leveling shit, wrestle with it some more, jack the fucker around, try picking the top heavy motherfucker up and hold it by myself to try and gt the cocksucker mounted waist high, only to have to set it back down and go at it a different way.
The damn thing is so top heavy when it’s upright that I couldn’t get it to sit upright without it trying to fall over and kill my ass long enough to get a lag bolt run in.
Hours I fucked with that.
I finally got two layers of 2X6 behind it and picked the fucker up one more time so I could hold it with one hand and run in a prestarted lag bolt with the other hand using a cordless impact gun so that it wouldn’t just fall over.
Then I could slowly start going about stiffening things up and running more screws in.
I know I’ve said this before but it bears repeating, I am NOT a carpenter.
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Me and wood do not get along.
Wood is for burning and making toothpicks.
It’s not from lack of trying, it’s just that I so seldom ever do anything woodworking wise that I may as well be an eight year old trying to use Dad’s Skillsaw to build a tree fort with. Because that’s about my skill level. That of an eight year old.
It shows too.
That being said,
I get the job done, one way or another.
You gotta know that I ain’t gonna sit here and tell you all of this without pictures, right?
I like you guys too much and you deserve a good laugh after all of that!
It may be ugly, but it works and it is plenty stout too.
She drilled a hole under her own power using the auto feed for the first time in forty years tonight.
There is some very serious run out at the chuck which became glaringly obvious as soon as I stuck a drill bit in it and turned it on. Without putting a dial indicator on it yet it’s hard to say exactly what is fucked up at the moment.
All that will come later though and I still have the other one if I need parts.
I shouldn’t be surprised as old as the damn thing is but it will drill holes and that is very encouraging.
Tomorrow I am going to be forced to do some clean up and rearranging to get that fucking Sprite back in there but getting that post drill mounted means there is one less thing laying around horizontally, taking up valuable real estate.
I’m going to put this in the Win column just for that if nothing else.