OK, I Need A Fucking Intervention

Things were already out of hand but I can’t stop myself apparently.

My name is Phil and I am a Hoarder.

Fuck me.

This garage out here is already packed so full of shit that I literally have like little pathways just to get around in it.

So what do I do?

Go get some more shit of course.

I have a buddy who told me that he was going to go over to his sisters and get a truckload of crap and they were going to have a yard sale.

he then told me that there were some Starrett micrometers and a bunch of tools that were going to be there so I should show up.

Yeah, about that.

We are scheduled to go on vacation next month so The Wifely Unit has been snagging all of my extra money to pay for that shit so my discretionary funds are pretty slim right now.

If you are married you know how it works, she has money, we have money but I don’t have any money.

Gotta love that arrangement don’t ya?

 

But I said Fuck It and stopped and snagged a few bucks out of the ATM and headed over there, it’s only a little over a mile away.

 

Holy crap was I not expecting what I found. Some of the stuff was from a friend of hers who had been a mechanic since Jesus had training wheels and there was a SHIT TON of tools and equipment there!

I started in looking around and thought to myself that it’s a damn good thing I didn’t have much money because I could have spent a paycheck there probably.

The first two things I saw were a couple of nasty looking old apprentice machinist boxes full of crap. A Kennedy and a Craftsman. I have been wanting one of those for over a year now but everyone wants an arm and a leg for them.

They were rusty and dirty but not dented to fuck.

I kept on going and saw all kinds of stuff I would have liked to have but remembered the amount of funding I had available so I asked his sister what she wanted for one of them. I about had a runaway inside when she said $10 apiece. (Insert poker face here) One of them had about twenty old metal files in it and those were ten bucks too.

 

It only took me long enough to see some other old bastard looking at the boxes for me to tell her that I would take them both.

So I paid her and then I started BS’ing with my buddy for a while. Pretty soon he says I need to look at the Starrett  Micrometer.

I take a look and it’s a nice one, still in the case but it’s like a three inch micrometer.

A bit too big for what I need and way more money than I had anyway.

Next thing I know, his sister comes over and says she has some other Starrett stuff but it belongs to this old dude who isn’t there.

She opened up a box full of stuff and inside is two older Starrett dial indicator kits, still in the boxes, for $100 apiece.

 

Fuck. Now the pressure is on because I want one of those damn things.

Pretty soon she says that she can cut the price some and because I am friends with her brother, we can see what we can come up with.

 

To make this long story shorter, I walked out of there with both tool boxes and the dial indicator, for $64.00, everything I had on me.

IMG_20180615_200339 (1)

You see, this is how I justify this hoarding problem.

That was a ridiculously good deal.

Now where ya gonna put that shit Sport?

That’s the fucking problem.

IMG_20180615_200132 (1)

 

So I spent the next four hours cleaning all the crap out of the drawers, there were a few keepers but most of it was mechanics junk drawer kind of shit.

IMG_20180615_200238

Then it was a good scrubbing and most of a can of WD-40 cleaning the boxes up as much as I could.

Then it was move a bunch of shit around out in the garage to make room for one of them up on the bench.

 

I think what needs to happen here is I need to have a fucking yard sale of my own and get rid of some of this crap I have laying around.

That way I could make a little money.

And room for more stuff.

 

 

30 thoughts on “OK, I Need A Fucking Intervention

  1. I didn’t know Sears Craftsman sold a brown wrinkle finish box like that. I’ve had a couple of Kennedy’s, and they’re nice boxes. TOO nice for getting trashed in the garage! I always had them in my “Electronics” workshop.

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    • I subscribe to a bunch of machinist videos on Youtube and one of them is a retired machinist shop teacher who’s name is Tubalcane. He has an incredible amount of videos and one of them was on a bunch of these boxes that he has picked up cheap in very good condition over the years and that’s how I first heard of the Craftsman boxes.
      He said they were all probably made by Kennedy anyway.

      Like

    • All of the metal Craftsman machinist boxes were Kennedy. I have
      no idea about the classic wooden machinist boxes Sears used to
      sell. For a long time, almost every Craftsman chest and cabinet
      was made by Lumidor. Back in the 70s almost every box was
      made by that company regardless of what badge they were
      sporting.

      I have a 56″ x 24″ deep 10 drawer roll-away with a Craftsman
      badge. By the time I got around to adding a 6 drawer top box,
      I discovered that International Tools in Canada made both
      boxes. I got the top box with the International logo at Sears
      of all places. As far as I know, no tool manufacturer makes
      their own boxes.

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  2. I feel your “pain”. I just scored a boxed set of a vernier caliper and a micrometer, yes, they were Starrett. Did I need them (when most of my measurements are calculated in fractions of a pussy hair)? No, no I did not. Did that stop the money from flying outta my pocket? Nope, not in the slightest.

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  3. Dude, you really don’t need that stuff you bought. I’ll pay you double for it. That way you make a nice profit and have more money for vacation. You may have to hold it for me for a while. I’m stuck in the garage and can’t find my way out. I need to build a catwalk or see if I can tunnel through the piles of stuff……………..

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  4. Or, you can do what a friend of mine did. His wife was tired of all the “Tool Crap, {her name} out of the garage) He went and bought a 45′ X 105′ shop on 3 acres with a car lift in it. He and and his buddies couldn’t be happier. A club house for old farts… He too as well as me are tool and parts hoarders. I counted 26 roll around tool boxes that he has in there, full of tools!

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  5. Due to a series of personal disasters, I lost just about everything I owned. I arrived up here in the Northwest with just the clothes on my back, a backpack, and one small handcase containing my Navy medals, ribbons, Naval Air silver wings, and a fighting knife.

    I had given my dad’s Starret micrometer to a Navy machinist buddy (he lives up here) twenty years ago. He still had it when I arrived up here a couple years ago, and he pulled it out of the Tool Drawer of Honor and let me fiddle with it.

    Like I said, I have nothing from my pre-disaster life. Handling Dad’s micrometer was a reminder that no matter how much stuff we own, no matter how learned and experienced we are, it can all be taken from us in an instant by one simple, stupid twist of fate.

    We’re one heartbeat away from Eternity, one breath away from vanishing into the huge waterfall of history.

    I made a mistake earlier. Silicon dioxide is glass – glazes. Dad worked with those, too, but mostly with aluminum dioxide. ‘Alox’ is tough stuff.

    I’d rattle on about ceramic engineering, but I’m no expert like Dad was.

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    • I certainly hope things have turned around for you since you got here. I have been pretty close to that situation, several times.
      A beat to shit car, some tools, my albums and some clothes.
      I have started over from scratch several times like that, been homeless a few times. Lived in my car, lived in leaky junked out travel trailers and RV’s for a few years.
      It’s like George Carlin’s riff on “Stuff”.
      There is very little that can’t be replaced, ya know?
      I have probably owned enough shit in my lifetime to fill a basketball court three feet high from end to end, twice.
      I could wake up tomorrow and it could all be gone.
      All I can do is trust in God that maybe I have suffered enough and He is going to let me fiddle fart around with my junk for a while.
      If not, then I will do what I can.

      Like

  6. you could start smoking crack ……..in just a few short weeks you’d be hooked and then you’d be forced to sell all your shit to buy more crack………pesky little fucking hoarding problem solved
    ………………………………….no need to thank me ………..you’re welcome
    LOL LOL LOL LOL

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  7. I screwed up. My father in law gave me his Starett micrometers, a set of 4 in a case with all of their standards to calibrate them. My one son had been very close to his grandpa, and so I ended up giving them to him. Now I find out that they are valuable. Damn. Actually, I knew that they were worth a bit, but I would never have sold them, so it didn’t matter. And my son is a reloader of ammo, so he can possibly use them, so I was glad to let him have them.
    A few years ago, I went through my tools, and gave each of my sons a starter set of quality tools. I wanted to impress upon them that buying cheap tools is never a good idea. It took me a long time to learn that lesson. My dad was one of those types who was not a mechanically inclined person. So he was not helpful in teaching me much about fixing things. I had to learn on my own. Working in a foundry helped me learn to fix things and weld, among other skills.

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    • My father in law, who was a tool nut, passed away back in 1983. My mother in law told me to come up and get all his stuff within a week of the funeral. I suggested that she sell everything since it was all worth quite a bit, but she insisted that I take everything because it depressed her too much whenever she saw the stuff in the basement when she did laundry. Radial arm saw with all the extras, three electric hand drills, two circular saws, reciprocating saw, belt sander, oscillating sander, router and bits, three full tools boxes, assorted hand saws, bench grinder/wire wheel and my personal favorite, a drill press. There was a ton of other stuff that is too numerous to mention. You would think that with all that added to my mechanic and machinist tools and all the carpentry type stuff that I already had that I’d never need to buy anything again. Naw, I’m like Phil. I can’t pass up good deals either. Besides, tools are like guns and ammo. You never have too many or enough………

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Tools are my addiction, cause every time I work on a different make or model (lately it has been VW and Mercedes Benz) I find that you need yet another variation of a tool to be able to get that last effin’ cap screw out or a 12 point short socket for a location with near zero clearance. So the tool stash keeps a growing, and more storage for tools keeps a coming. And yes, brotherhood of grease monkeys, we never toss anything cause the day after you do, you will need it (all hail to lords Murphy and Lucas).

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  9. Stuff is the curse and benefit of the gear head, which reminds me that I need to look for the missing dremel motor, it was in the container of wood finishing brads last I saw it.

    A pleasant Father’s Day to you, Phil, and all the other dads that stop by here.

    Like

  10. A suburban house is like a hotel room, all you can do is shower and sleep in it, you can’t actually live a normal life. You’re pacing like an animal in a cage, because you are. The point of suburbia is to cut off your options. Commerce is not allowed, the public visiting is not allowed, the garage is unconditioned space, you can’t make noise or have loading dock activities in that completely off-limits grassy area consuming most of your real estate area, which you pay for and maintain but can’t use. Whereas, the historically normal middle class craftsman town house is two stories, with your residence on the second story above a retail space with a production workshop in back.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. That is the classic Starrett 96 kit. Every Millwright before the advent of LASER
    shaft alignment kits used two of these to do precision direct drive alignments.
    It used two shaft clamps and two arms to span the coupling. Once set up,
    we used a formula developed by the engineers at Standard Oil El Segundo.
    After jotting down three dimensions we would zero the indicators at 12:00,
    sweep to 9:00, then 3:00. The results were written down on the worksheet
    After working the formula, we knew exactly how many shims to subtract
    or add at the motor feet.

    So many of my coworkers were flubbing the formula using a pocket calculator
    (usually forgetting to enter minus signs,) I wrote programs for pocket PCs
    and laptops. The graphic versions made the process so easy all you had to
    do was input 3 dimensions and the 4 indicator readings.

    Like

  12. Pingback: Just In Case You Thought I Was Kidding The Other Day | The Vulgar Curmudgeon

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