Six years ago yesterday, I was an out of control raging alcoholic and was drinking a fifth of straight whiskey with beer chasers every night until I blacked out.
I had been doing it for years.
I lost everything more than once including a marriage, two houses, fifty cars and another long term relationship. I can literally remember drinking straight whiskey out of a water glass when I was ten years old and was drinking heavily by my late teens.
Me and my little brother grew up in taverns. My dad was drinking and my Mom was a bartender. The funny thing is, Dad wouldn’t normally drink in the tavern Mom was working at. There was many a time we would sit in a booth drinking soda and eating beef jerky waiting for her to get off work.
They split when I was 8 and I actually raised my little brother by myself for a while. My Dad got custody and worked when he wasn’t out chasing tail and drinking. That was pretty rare back in the 60’s.
My Dad drank hard and my Mom actually drank herself to death before the age of forty.
She lost her mind years before her body gave up.
Six years ago, there was that one last three day binge, my wife grabbed the kids and took off. When I finally came to, I could see another marriage going down the tubes and the bottom of the barrel staring me in the face, again.
I had a long chat with myself, set the fucking bottle down and walked away.
I have been sober ever since.
That was six years ago, today.
I know that if I pick up a bottle of beer it will start right up where I left it from past experience trying to quit
Trust me, it ain’t all peaches and cream but it was the smartest fucking thing I have ever done in my life.
I have some really great stories, my body is tore the fuck up and my memory is shot.
Apparently my liver is made out of cast iron because I drank enough to kill two mere mortals.
It’s one fucking day at a time and by the Grace of God, I may still have some time left here.
God must have a reason for me to be here because I should have been dead seventy five or eighty times over and actually had an out of body experience after an especially bad car wreck when I was twenty.
This may be too much info for some but hey, it’s my Blog and the definition of a Blog is a personal web log.
Some times I use the thing as a bit of a personal journal and sometimes I use it just to get shit off my mind.
Some day, some kin of mine is going to read all this shit and wonder what the fuck I was like.
Now you have an idea of why I am so damn ornery.