Reminds Me Of Myself Back In The Day

wise

 

One time several years ago at Christmas time I asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas and they said they wanted to go to Old Navy.

 

Fuck me, that means ….The Mall.

 

So I thought about it and said OK, here’s the deal, because it is at the very front edge of the mall, you go in, pick out what you want and then come get me.

I’ll be sitting on this bench directly in front of it doing some people watching.

There was three or four other guys sitting there all cucked to fuck, waiting for their wives, complete with one poor sonofabitch having his old lady make sure and tell him to sit there and don’t move while she goes shopping and to wait.

She was a snotty bitch about it too so I plopped down right next to this guy after she walked away.

 

I sit there for a couple minutes and there are literally hundreds of fucking people walking by, including mall Rent A Cops all over.

This poor dude next to me just looks like a miserable wretch and I am checking out the MILF’s and the little cuties while he sulks.

After this all goes on for a while, I reach inside my coat, pull out a nice cold can of beer, pop that fucker open and start sipping on it right in front of God and everyone.

 

The cucked one glances over, does a double take and then looks at me and simply says, “genius”.

 

Damn straight Daddy-O.

Pretty soon here comes the kids, I slam the beer and sit the can down, go inside and pay and off we go.

 

That was the end of that Christmas shopping bullshit for me though.

Now I buy fist fulls of gift cards and be done with it.

 

 

One thought on “Reminds Me Of Myself Back In The Day

  1. My most memorable Mall Christmas shopping experience –

    Ex and I went to the local Temple of Consumerism. She, of course, spent her time goggling at shoes, clothes, cooking paraphernalia, etc. I stayed with her until she’d had her fill and made a list of what the next $1000 of my paycheck was going towards.

    Then we made our way to the Chapel of Man Stuff, where I found a McCulloch chainsaw on sale. It was the display model, and there was no box for it. So, I spent the next hour or so walking around the mall carrying a chainsaw over my shoulder.

    People got out of my way, and were very polite. Nobody bumped into me, not even once.

    Like

Pansies, Trolls and Liberals are urged to flee this place.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s