I’m Gettin’ To Be A Toothless Old Motherfucker In A Hurry

Damn.

 

I’ve had a lower right molar bugging me for almost a year.

It would flare up for a bit and then it was all good, for a long time.

About two weeks ago that all changed.

The fucker flared up and wouldn’t quit.

I suffered like a sonofabitch all weekend , week before last and then got it about half calmed down during the week but this last weekend that cocksucker lit up like a neon sign with a jack hammer hitting a 480 volt cable right along with it. I have been living on OraJel and Ibuprophen for two fucking weeks and finally had enough of it.

A quick internet search and some phone calls later, I had an appointment to see a new dentist.

The last one wanted $900, up front, just to pull the fucker and drop a little chunk of bone graft in the hole.

Then wait 4 months for it to take and then open the fucker back up, cut, drill, fold , spindle and mutilate my gums and jawbone to put in one of them fancy new implants.

For another $1300, up front.

 

Yeah, fuck you pal.

That’s why I waited until I couldn’t take it anymore.

 

I get all my insurance info straightened out, get up there, get in the chair, have an X-ray taken and here comes the bad fucking news.

 

It ain’t just one, it’s both of the only two fucking teeth I got left on that side of my lower jaw in the back and they are both fucked.

YAY!

So, I told ’em to pull the fuckers, like there was any choice at this point.

The two teeth came out in five pieces.

After 10 shots of novacane and lots of prying and digging to get the broke off roots out.

More Yay.

Then he mumbled something about sharp edges on my jaw bone and worked that fucker over while it was laid open.

Four stitches and $93 out of my ass pocket, an appointment in two weeks for another consultation and out the door I go.

Not a word about any pain killers for when this Novacane wears off, which it is starting to do.

I can already feel the throbbing, I am going to be curled up in a little ball in a couple of hours probably.

Haven’t eaten a fucking thing all day and won’t be able to now.

Oh boy, have I got a pleasant evening to look forward to.

It’s getting very close to the point that I just get it scheduled to yank ’em all out and be done with it.

 

 

12 thoughts on “I’m Gettin’ To Be A Toothless Old Motherfucker In A Hurry

  1. Around 11 years ago I went to the dentist for chronic pain and bleeding from gum disease. He pulled the offending tooth and then berated me for half an hour because he had to pull a perfectly good tooth out of a diseased mouth. My bad. I had let fear keep from annual cleanings for probably 20 years. I haven’t had a new cavity for over 35 years. He scheduled me with a periodontist for a planing and descaling. I don’t recommend it. They peel back your gums and scrape your teeth down to the roots. One quarter of your mouth in a session over several weeks. Lots of discomfort and blood. Found out they can’t deaden my lower right jaw. The hard way. Great fun when I had my bottom wisdom teeth removed a year later. Since then I’ve spent probably 15 grand keeping my remaining teeth in my head. 2/3rds out of pocket. Lesson learned. Brush, floss and get regular cleanings.

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  2. Quick story. A biker I road with years ago was dating a lovely lifeflight nurse several years ago. She took him to a fancy party for God knows why. One of the doctors he talked to complimented him on his nice teeth. He thanked him and said ” yeah. It’s easy. They keep them in a big bowl down at t he funeral home and you just try them on until you find a set that fits.” Heh.

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  3. Anbesol, or Oil of cloves is your friend. It will taste like you fell into a production vat at the Beeman’s chewing gum factory, but the pain will go away.
    You take a little wad of gauze, saturate it with the oil if cloves, and just park it on the gaping wound in your gums. Fa’ Pete’s sake, don’t swallow it. It’s like holding a plug of leaf chewing tobacco
    in your mouth.
    Is that better, or worse?

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  4. I feel for ya buddy.
    I’m gonna keep pulling the offending teeth , one at a time, until I start losing weight because I can’t chew anything.
    Then I’ll try the funeral home method mentioned above.

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  5. Two years ago, I had a dentist who tried to convince me an implant was the way to go. All told, about $2500, but would not guarantee it would hold securely long term, as the root was pretty screwed up.

    Yank it and call it good sez I. I have two caps on the other side, so my jaw on side of pulled gets the majority of first bite of food. So far – so good.

    I hope you get relief soon. Dental issues suck and no way can be ignored when they are raging.

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  6. Been there, pal. Like the man says, one cannot ignore dental pain as it will not go away. Yes it is expensive. When I lived in Denver, I never went to a dentist. I got used to drinking out of straws because of the hot/cold discomfort. When I returned here, I had five teeth pulled over time. One bridge I had installed cost three grand. The now dentists do not offer bridges any more; implants $$$ are the dentists favorites now. I still have gaps for three teeth, a busted one on a root canal, and a half broken wisdom tooth. Some day, they will require attention.
    I looked into the implant route. I figured $22k. Plus, one is required to go in twice a year for cleanings at $600 a pop. It’s a racket.

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  7. Hope you get things straightened out, Phil. I had an abscessed molar many years ago. The fucker started to ache on Friday night of course and at the time there were no emergency clinics. First thing Monday I went to the dentist and had it yanked. Worst pain I’ve every had in 75 years.

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