You know, the leaves are falling everywhere and making a giant mess, the Geese are flocking all over the country shitting on everything in their glide path, the nights are getting downright cold, you have to be somewhere for an appointment on a chilly fall morning after a slight freeze overnight so you jump in your car at the last possible minute, turn the key and it goes RUHHHHHHHHR, RUHRRRR, Rhurr, Click, Click, Click.
Hasn’t happened to you yet?
It will, someday.
Cold weather kills marginal batteries dead.
I had to change the battery in my youngest daughters rig Saturday because it shit the bed and she couldn’t get to work.
Last night when I got home from work I was regaled with the tale of The Wifely Unit’s day as hers shit the bed in the parking lot of a local Wally World after she had gone grocery shopping and had sit listening to the radio for a few minutes.
Luckily, she had someone close by and they both had a set of these.
I am amazed at how many people don’t carry jumper cables in their cars anymore.
Several times at work in just the last year I have had people coming to me asking if I could jump start their car because they had asked around and was told I was pretty much the only one there with a set of jumper cables.
WTF people, really?!
Idiots, I am surrounded by them.
Cheap emergency prep people, if you don’t have some in your fucking car then get some and don’t buy the cheapest set you can find either.
So the Wifely Unit gets back home and the minute I walk in here it comes.
Of course she has a bunch of running around to do first thing this morning so I gotta figure out the quickest way to get this situation handled.
Dropping it off and waiting for someone to do the dirty work for me wasn’t an option.
Now if you have half a fucking brain in your head, not only will you have a set of jumper cables in your car, you will have these in your storage just in case this happens in your driveway first thing in the morning,
If you don’t, then again, get some and don’t buy the cheap shit.
Get a heavy duty extension cord and a battery charger that has a boost capability to start a car with.
I have a couple, one being heavy duty enough to start a Mack Truck with that I have had for twenty years and they have saved my ass more times than I care to admit.
Because if you are a typical dumb ass car owner, when you open the hood of your car, you are going to see this,
This is bad, okay?
A thick slurry of baking soda and water will clean that shit up pretty quick. If you don’t have that, a small wire brush and some elbow grease will.
There is another option that works and I use it all the time,
I shit you not, that works incredibly well.
After you get the Moon Rocks cleaned off your battery terminals, dig in your tool box and grab one of these and clean the terminals on the battery and the cable ends.
You do have one of these, right?
I have even seen them at the fucking Dollar Store for cryin’ out loud.
When you get done cleaning the terminals and putting them back on, then hit them with some of this shit to keep them from getting nasty again in the future.
One of the biggest reasons these days for keeping your battery terminals clean besides making sure your damn car starts is that over the past twenty odd years, vehicle manufacturers went away from the old style of battery cable and clamp like the ones I still have on my rig.
Oh, no, no, no, you silly consumer you, that is way too fucking easy to replace.
Now days, your battery cable isn’t a battery cable.
Now it’s a fucking “Battery Harness” and they are expensive as fuck all and a serious bitch to change.
For you non mechanic types, that translates to “It costs HOW MUCH?!!”.
So take some advice from Ol’ Bustednuckles and stay on top of that shit.
Check your battery terminals, there are places you can find in your area that will check your charging system and battery cheap, if not free and if your battery shows the slightest hint of being weak then shell out the money and get a new one.
You will sleep better knowing that your car isn’t going to crap out on you at the least opportune moment because Winter is coming and you DO NOT want to be out fucking around with this shit when it’s dark, the snow is blowing sideways and there is nothing around open for business to take care of it at the moment.
Then it is going to be expensive.
While we are on the subject, now is the time to get your Anti Freeze checked and replaced if necessary and your wiper blades too.
Don’t forget the washer fluid either.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go put all the tools away that I had to dig out to perform this small bit of marital and vehicle maintenance.
Have a nice day.