I Just Love That Shit

The kid went to jump in his car and go to work at the last possible minute yesterday and it wouldn’t start.
Of course that means I should panic and jump up to go do something about it. right?

I went and got mine, pulled it up in front of his and got everything ready to jump start the fucker when I found that the positive battery clamp was nasty corroded and loose.
I tried to tighten it with the little 4 inch crescent wrench I carry at all times and it broke.


Now he is all excited because he is going to be late.

It had one of those Marine style clamps on it with the stud that sticks up in the back and a wingnut on it to tighten down on the ring connectors going to the rest of the car.

I grabbed the fucking clamp, pushed down and twisted on it and the damn thing started.

I had him take a picture of the clamp, told him to pick one up and I would put it on today.


I leave for work an hour early every day. I do not like being late to work.
They don’t like it, they keep track of that shit and I have seen more than one guy get canned for being late too many times.

Try and explain that to one of these kids today. You might as well take a big suck off of a tailpipe for all the good it’s going to do ya.

So as I was tooling down the road on my way to work yesterday it dawned on me that I should have one or even several of those battery clamps out in all my shit in the garage.
When I got home I went and looked .
Sure as shit I had 4 of them.
I stuck one in a little vise and wire brushed the shit out of it and took it in the house.

Pretty soon here he comes, somehow the thing started after he got off work.
The first thing out of his mouth when he saw me was a bunch of excuses why he didn’t pick up a new clamp.

He works at Wally World. Someone please tell me they wouldn’t have one.

So I showed him the one I had and told him that I wasn’t waiting until he had fifteen minutes to get to work to put the fucker on either.

Today we go out and I take the old one off, put the new one on, clean the little metal ring terminals on the wires, hook them up and have him hit the key.



I spent about fifteen minutes trying this and that trying to figure out what was going on when I noticed that if I twisted this one wire I could hear the door dinger go off for just a second.

It had shrink wrap going all the way up to the ring and when I gave a good pull the ring terminal came right off in my hand.
Corrosion had rotted the copper wiring and the shrink wrap had been holding it together just enough to make contact.
Dig around in my shit some more, find a new ring terminal, put the cocksucker on, tighten everything back up and it starts.

So, by being a border line hoarder as my wife likes to call it, I just saved myself not one, but two trips to the parts house and enough money to buy lunch with, plus now the kid can go back to rushing out of the house at the last minute to get to work.

9 thoughts on “I Just Love That Shit

  1. I’ve lost track of the times I saved somebody else’s bacon because I had some parts laying around in a box in the garage.

    Even stunned my wife several times, and saved a ton of money when I dug something out to fix something…..


    • As much as the wife likes to complain about it, I have also pulled stuff out of there that she couldn’t believe. Last night it was 9 volt batteries for a beeping smoke alarm that had been driving her nuts all day. I think after I whipped out a jar of mayo one time after she said there wasn’t any to make my sandwiches with she kind of got an inkling.
      It got to be so regular she actually sounds disappointed when I finally don’t have what it is she is looking for!


  2. Us guys who know how to fix things should all take a week off some time. Just to remind everyone else that they may have money to buy whatever they want, but we’re the ones who keep their world running.

    I was kinda surprised that you helped the kid out. Then I realized that if he got fired, he’d be lying around the house full-time. Nice bit of self-preservation there, Phil. [wink]


    • Actually it was a twofer.
      One for the kid going to work and two for not having to listen to the wife about it.
      I do know what you mean about keeping the country running though.
      The funny thing is that I have noticed over and over and over again over the years is that people look down their noses at people like us, mechanics, carpenters, you name it. Bad mouth us and treat us like red headed step children.
      Until they need something done..


  3. Sometimes experience is the best teacher…..heh, sometimes? All the time. My family has a couple of (to be polite, because they are blood) leaches that don’t seem capable of cognitive thinking. The family gestalt is to let them hurt themselves and MAYBE they will grow up.



  4. What? You didn’t make him do the work while you stood over him and offered helpful hints and light-hearted beratements?

    Oh, that’s right, it’s your wife’s kid.

    God, I remember the first time my dad allowed me to touch the tools to help him (I loved being a tool-monkey.) And the awe-inspiring first time I actually was allowed to do something with his permission.

    Then there was the time the water-pump went out in the Datsun B-210, and I took it off and replaced it all by myself (including riding the bike to the auto dealership over the river to get the part) without dad’s help or, I thought, his knowledge. (Found him checking out the work and the tools after I was done. His, “Huh.” grunt was acceptance enough.

    People these days, not so much. Useless fecks.


    • Let me put it this way,

      Yes, he is my Step son, he was raised by women with no father figure and is a spoiled assed Mommy’s boy with a smart fucking mouth and zero respect for anyone or anything. Zero as in borderline Sociopath zero. Actually, I have studied his behavior on several occasions and borderline might be being a bit too kind.

      But, he can do no wrong according to my wife and when I call him on his bullshit I am the asshole.
      I could give you a perfect example that just happened a few minutes ago but it would be pointless.
      I have offered repeatedly to teach him things but he has no interest and tons of excuses.
      Let me just say that life is going to be hard on the boy when he is finally forced to try and make it on his own, he is the epitome of a Millenial .


      • So, he has no empathy? That’s the typical sociopath.
        As for life being hard for him when he has to leave, sociopaths just do not CARE about how they live.
        If he IS sociopathic, be VERY careful for yourself. They can kill without remorse.


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