Just Like Fucking Clockwork, The Miserable Little P.O.S. Shit The Bed, AGAIN!

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Dirty fucking little cocksucker!!

 

I don’t know why I am surprised, this has been the same thing over and over and over and over again for almost thirty fucking years now.

I spend a bunch of money on the damn thing, do a bunch of work to it, get the fucking thing driveable, run it anywhere from a week to a couple of months and BOOM,  it shits the fucking bed. It’s always something with the sonofabitch.

Once again, it’s the fucking transmission no less.

I spent a thousand fucking dollars on a rebuilt transmission for this prick of a car wayyyy back in 1999.

The fucking thing has been broke down so many times, for so long since then, I bet the fucker doesn’t have two thousand miles on it. Probably closer to one.

 

I took the little bastard to work today because it was a nice day, the heat finally let up just enough.

Hot rodding the little bitch and just having a great old time.

 

I get about a hundred feet from the driveway at work, coming down a hill in third gear and probably going about forty miles an hour and it pops out of gear.

 

No warning, no noises, nothing. It just popped out of gear.

This transmission ain’t been right since I got it I do know, someone saw me coming and charged me top dollar for a quicky throw some parts in it rebuild and it has had issues from day one. So it popping out of gear is nothing new.

Only this time, it was terminal.

I tried stuffing it back in gear and the second I let the clutch out, back out she came instantly and this time, there was definitely something not right.

 

By this time I am on the brakes to swing in the driveway. I turn and am going slow enough that I can pop it into second and motor on in.

Nope.

Second is nothing but crunching and grinding.

 

For those who have never had the dubious pleasure of owning one of these little fuckers, first gear is not synchronized, it is two VERY noisy spur gears that  spin together and rumble so bad that they sound like there are rocks inside the transmission and the only purpose it serves is to just barely get you rolling so you can get into second gear and take off.

Because it is not a synchronized gear set, you can’t down shift into first gear while the thing is moving without tearing the shit out of it by literally forcing two spinning gears to mesh under load.

Not good.

 

So I am fucked yet again by this bastard of a car.

I did manage to get the damn thing back home by winding it up in first gear, it sounded like it was going to explode at any moment, then shift into fourth and ease out the clutch and baby the throttle until it got up to speed. As long as I didn’t have to stop it was fine.

Why of course I had to fucking stop, three times.

But I made it home.

I have so much money in the cocksucker right now as it sits, with no interior, no carpet and completely trashed seats, not to mention a completely fucked up paint job, that I couldn’t get half of my money back under any circumstances.

This does not take into account that I have owned it 29 fucking years and have literally had almost every bolt, nut, screw, spring, clip, bracket and part on this car off at least once, if not ten fucking times.

I could literally hold the fasteners I have not had off this car in my hand.

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Because I have had so many nightmares with the cocksucker, I have almost enough spare parts laying around to build another one too.

For many many years, there were certain parts that you just could not buy for love nor money.

In the time that I have owned this car, the price of parts has gone clear through the roof also.

 

This is why I have another transmission out in the garage.  Two, actually.

One I know nothing about and another one I know is in very good shape, except for reverse, which is fucked.

 

Now it will be a matter of tearing the damn thing out again, the motor and transmission come out still bolted together, and sending the one I have stashed to a specialty British repair outfit, find out what it’s going to cost to get that reverse gear issue fixed, then put the whole damn thing back together, yet again.

 

Next year, maybe.

 

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12 thoughts on “Just Like Fucking Clockwork, The Miserable Little P.O.S. Shit The Bed, AGAIN!

  1. LOL , sounds like the years I had with FIAT X19’s. Spent a bazillion bucks trying to produce real power out of that tiny little 128 motor. Also got real good at replacing bent valves !
    Finally sold the whole works to a guy for two hundred bucks, just so I didn’t have to see it any more .
    Sure miss that screaming demon door stop….

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  2. 29 years!? yikes. Sounds like you have been pushing that rope long enough. There are real reasons the Japanese flogged the British motorsports industry to death. Ditch the bitch, buy a miata, and have some fun.

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  3. I know you can replace the trans in a Spitfire with a Ford 5-speed. It’s popular enough that a couple of places have swap kits for it. Perhaps you can do the same with the Sprite?

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  4. It’s worth more as parts for any other masochists out there that have one.

    Part it out and sell it out. Scrap steel price is probably only $50 or $60.

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  5. You must have a serious hard on for it, or it has a serious hard on for you… but how many times in a man’s life does he have a toy such as this that he truly loves? Cars like this are more then a wife unit….

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  6. I do admire your for-better-or-worse commitment. My sister and her husband had one and drove it from Minnesota to Colorado, where the tranny gave way. He loved that car so much that he payed to have it shipped back to Minnesota because he didn’t trust anyone else to work on it. He’s dead now but his son has carried on the love-hate relationship with it.

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  7. THe thing is, these cars were designed for road rallies. They’d be rebuilt and replaced for the next after rally racing all day.They made just enough to sell to allow em to race in that category.

    Hence the no bearing throwout for the clutch.

    Te poor brakes that wear out after 200 miles

    The unit pull for the powertain.

    The crappy radiator.

    etc etc.

    These were all items the brits would pull out each night, rebuild and replace for the next day’s racing.

    If you want a reliable car, get a miata. If you want fun, deal with the wrenching.

    (BTW, it ain’t hard to rebuild the transmissions on these. Parts aren’t terrible and they are pretty simple to fix. Thing is, they will NEVER be reliable or durable. (You can make ’em last longer with synthetic oil instead of 40 weight, but they are still a crap design.)

    I’ve owned 4, just so you know.

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  8. Is that a Sprite or an Midget?
    I had a ’62 Sprite, my very first car actually and had almost the same love affair for the 10 years or so I owned it. In fact the only reason I sold it, was my mother was retiring, wanted to sell her house and I had no place to put it. Basically became a parts car for another owner.
    My mistake was trying to restore and use as a DD at the same time.
    I tore the tranny apart so many times, I joked about putting it back together blindfolded, but never had the cahonnies to do so. I had to had a cluster gear made by Premier Machine Works in Portland because they didn’t really exist, even in Canada.
    Keep up the good fight!
    Gary in Vancouver, WA.

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