It seems that the same theory applies to coffeepots and coffee makers too.

I don’t know why that is.

Was it last year or the year before, I can’t remember shit anymore, that the Wifely Unit just HAD to have this fancy fucking coffee maker for Christmas?

I think it was two years ago now, I dunno. Anyway. Gotta have this fancy motherfucker that you can make a regular pot of coffee with or one single cup.

Just making one, you can either use a little wire screen to use regular coffee or those infernal little round plastic cup thingies that you can pay through the nose for and have ten fucking thousand kinds of different shit in ’em. You know what I’m talking about,

Those.

I hate that fucking thing.

Seriously.

Hate the fucker.

I hate all of those new coffee makers and coffee pots.

For one thing, I have yet to find one that has a coffee pot with a decent fucking pour spout.

I hate standing there holding the cocksucker, carefully pouring a steady stream of water into the sonofabitch, they all have this little plastic lid you gotta flip up to pour the water in.

Fuck that, I’m a guy. make the lid huge and the spout wide and deep so I can POUR the fucking water IN the bastard and not ON it, over it and all over the motherfucking counter!

How fucking hard is it to design something like that, you pencil necked, weeny assed designer fags?

Jesus Christ!

THEN, we have the spot to put the coffee grounds in.

That requires a plastic, cup /funnel like container to put a coffee filter and the grounds in. Every one of the designers has spec’d in a feature on these of some kind that makes them only fight right in one position. God help you if you somehow mange to get it in there kittywampus somehow.

Every single one of these damn things now also have a little check valve built into them so that the glass coffee pot has to be set under this housing, just right, or the hot water/coffee doesn’t come out of the filter housing and drip into the pot.

If you don’t get that glass pot under there just exactly right because, say, you are barely fucking awake and NEED A CUP OF COFFEE TO WAKE THE FUCK UP WITH, the hot water/coffee backs the fuck up in the filter housing, overflows all over the top of the pot, the kitchen counter and anything else sitting there, bringing a flood surge of soggy fucking coffee grounds with it, because no fucking adult ever, was capable of making a pot of coffee without fifteen different kinds of safety features.

It does all this of course, while you are blissfully unaware and busy doing other things first fucking thing in the morning.

Only to return with fervent wishes of finally having a fresh, hot cup of coffee waiting for you and not some fucking mini coffee volcano pyroclastic flow demonstration all over the damn kitchen counters.

Just to up the aggravation and difficulty factor, my Sister In law, in one of her many peculiar personality manifestations, has decided that regular coffee has too much caffeine in it for her delicate system. So she has to make a TWO CUP pot of coffee, every fucking morning, using Half Decaf coffee grounds, before she runs off to work, leaving those coffee grounds in the filter housing, of course.

Like there is SUCH A THING as too much caffeine in the morning?!

Knowing all this now, throw a half awake, lazy sonofabitch into this equation.

I stagger in there, dump out the last of her fucking wussy coffee, fill the pot with water, pour most of it in the coffee maker, flip the lid where the grounds go in, see the thing about a quarter full of her wussy shit, say Fuck It and dump three more scoops of REGULAR coffee grounds in there on top of them, push the pot under the fucking thing, hit the damn button and stagger off to find my phone, lighter and cigarettes, waiting for it to do it’s thing.

Only to come back and find a giant fucking mess all over the place because I didn’t get that fucking coffee pot in the exact geographic center underneath the filter housing.

This happens more often than I like.

Because once, is more than I like.

What I want, is one of these,

Obviously Stupid Simple, the cretins at 7-11 use them all the time, wicked fast and your coffee is ready, sir.

What’s not to like?

There are only 3 obstacles in my way for this to happen.

They are expensive, they require a dedicated water line and my wife would flip the fuck out if I even dared to mention it.

I suppose I could find a used  one and figure out a way to tap into the intake for the hot water heater out in the garage………

It’s coming along.

I have to finish wiring up the switch and the motor, which I have no idea whether or not works yet.

I don’t see any reason for it not to, have another one if it doesn’t and after meeting the guy, have no reason to think he would give me one that didn’t in the first place.

Cleaning the column is going to be lots of fun.

I may leave that alone for the time being but eventually it will drive me crazy and I will take care of that too.

If you look closely you can see that my garage is a complete disaster area right now.

It looks like someone took a Conex full of crap, stuck it in a giant paint shaker and then dumped the contents out on the floor.

I barely have room to get around this thing to work on it and my work bench has completely disappeared under a huge pile of crap.

As soon as I get this fucker going I am going to start in on that shit.

Even I can’t take it anymore and that is saying something.

I  have been putting it off and putting it off but it’s time for some of this shit to go.

I have boxes full of Sprite parts that I need to put on Offer Up and the local Craigslist, price it so cheap that some dumb motherfucker such as myself can’t help themselves and make them go away.

That is just for starters.

Every square inch of that garage has shit piled up on it and getting rid of even one box makes a noticeable difference at this point.

One thing at a time though. I am real close to getting this drill press going and I want to focus on that first. Then I can put the tools I am using away and get after it.

Ain’t no rest for the wicked baby and I am a very, bad boy.

A guy could do a lot of damage with an army like that.

The wife ain’t gonna think so but I know I did.

In case you can’t tell, it’s a heavy motherfucker.

I went over to meet the seller this morning and he turned out to be a hell of a nice guy. Between the two of us the thing went right in the back of the rig by using a small movers dolly to roll the top half in on. Then we got to talking and wound up shooting the shit for about a half hour.

Not only did I get the drill press and the original motor, he threw in 3 more small electric motors for free and I couldn’t thank the guy enough!

That blue one is for the drill press.

Depending how you look at it, I either got  this serious floor mounted drill press for fifty bucks and three free motors to boot or I bought three small electric motors for fifty bucks and got a free drill press. Either way, it was a hell of a good deal.

I have been looking for some of those motors off and on and they are getting hard to come by cheap anymore.

Once in a while I will see one go for twenty bucks but they are always clear the fuck and gone on the other side of Portland which makes it not such a good deal when you gotta take into account time, gas and the ever present clusterfuck traffic jams over there.

So 3 X $20 = $60 from where I am sitting either way.

It took me a good twenty minutes to wrestle the bastard out of the rig and onto the ground by myself because the damn driveway has such a slope to it, that little 1 ton Harbor Freight Cherry Picker has paid for it’s self over and over again at this point.

When I was talking to the guy, he told me that it used to be his Fathers and when he died this guy’s brother hauled this thing all the way up here from California to give to him and he’s like, Why?

He already has one and this thing has just been taking up space in his shop ever since.

Obviously not the sentimental type.

What I can’t hardly believe is that the thing has been advertised for two entire months and nobody else snagged it!

The cheapest I have seen something like this go for in over a year was $175 and it was a piece of crap.

Most of the time it’s $250 and up.

It’s a Jet, made in good old Jay-pan way back when so it’s nothing fancy but at least it ain’t made out of Chinesium*.

It is solid, the quill is in good shape, the bearings seem fine and it looks like it’s going to be fairly easy to put back together.

Even better, I actually had a Morse Taper insert with a 1/2 inch chuck on it that slid right in!

The table has seen better days, someone drilled a series of holes in an arc all the way across it but at least it’s big enough to put a damn drill press vise on.

So it looks like I have something else to keep me occupied for a while. I have been wanting one of these since we lived in the last place but there was always some reason that it didn’t happen.

Now to make some room and get after it. There is going to be a large expenditure of Elbow Grease here in my near future, plus several cans of WD-40.

I doubt that I will take it apart to get rid of the rust by soaking but I’m not going to rule it out. depends on how much work it turns into first.

I can’t wait to get this thing going.

*Raise your hand if you are an Uncle Bumblefuck fan.

If you don’t know what Chinesium is, it’s AvE speak for cheap Chinese steel or cast iron  machine parts or tools that break under normal stress conditions and/or are horribly machined and ill fitting. The epitome of Cheap Chinese Crap.

Look up AvE on Youtube, the guy is seriously hilarious.

Thanks for stopping by and keep your dick in a vise.

The Wifely Unit has been at her folks all week and isn’t due back until Sunday.

There is probably a football game on then too so who knows when she will finally roll in.

As the old saying goes, when the cat is away, the mice will play.

Mice in this case being a rat, as in me.

Leaving me for extended periods of time without close adult supervision can be a serious mistake.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Since I did nothing all day but sit here on my ass recuperating from the brutality of last week at work, have a computer, an internet connection and an addiction to old junk, this very quickly turns into me surfing the local Craigslist and OfferUp  selections of vintage tools.

Lo and behold, I just found this,

The motor comes with it, it is located five minutes from my brothers place, I see these every week going for $300 and up and this is what I have actually been after for quite some time..

I’m going to go snag it for $50.

Don’t you say a fucking word to my wife either.

She will discover it on her own soon enough.

I just want to get it in the garage and buried first.

Lots of surface rust there, could take me quite a while to clean that one up.

Yes sir,

It’s juuuuuuuuust right.

Something to do during the cold months coming up.

Now for sure I gotta get the boy to come get that bench mounted one. I still have to mount the old one too but I think I have a spot for it and that won’t take but a couple of hours.

I have been busting my ass all damn week with these ten and twelve hour days.

My feet are killin’ me, my legs, shoulders and lower back are all aching and sore as hell and I am generally just wore the fuck out.

Right this minute there ain’t no one here except me and a couple of worthless fucking cats and even those assholes are snoozing.

It’s nice and quiet.

I am going to take full advantage of it by doing absolutely nothing except dick around here on the internet and am only getting up to do one of three things.

Take a piss.

Get more coffee.

Or go have a smoke.

Maybe all three at one go.

That’s it.

There are a thousand things I could and probably should be doing today and fuck every one of ’em.

Y’all have a nice day, I’m going to wash down a few Ibuprofin with some more coffee and just sit here and vegetate for a while.

Pentagon fails its first ever audit, official says

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Pentagon has failed what is being called its first-ever comprehensive audit, a senior official said on Thursday, finding U.S. Defense Department accounting discrepancies that could take years to resolve.

Results of the inspection – conducted by some 1,200 auditors and examining financial accounting on a wide range of spending including on weapons systems, military personnel and property – were expected to be completed later in the day.

“We failed the audit, but we never expected to pass it,” Deputy Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan told reporters.

The U.S. defense budget for the 2018 fiscal year that ended on Sept. 30 was $700 billion. It was unclear what consequences there would be for the failed audit, but defense officials and outside experts have said it may be years before the Pentagon is able to fix its accounting gaps and errors and pass an audit.

A 1990 federal law mandated that U.S. government agencies be audited, but the Pentagon had not faced a comprehensive audit until this one was launched in December.

Let me take my shoes and socks off here for a second,

This audit started a year ago, so, 2017-1990= TWENTY SEVEN FUCKING YEARS that they fucked this audit off to start with, the office in the Pentagon that this audit was supposed to started in conveniently had an “Airliner” slam into it and destroy any trace of what had been going on there way back on 9/11/2001 just for good measure to begin with and just who ever thought there would be the slimmest chance of there ever being any accountability there in the first place was?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Trillions of tax payer dollars down a bottomless rat hole and some rich assed motherfucking Military Industrial Complex types laughing all the way to the bank, year after year, after year after year.

If anyone ever expects to see an ounce of accountability for all that money I have a slightly rusty hammer or a toilet seat to sell them at only 16 billion dollars piece.

Cheap by these peoples standards.

I’ll even autograph them for you at no charge.

It’s hard for me to keep track of that shit when I start work at 3:00 PM one day and get off at 3:00 AM the next day.

I wake up not knowing what day of the week it is sometimes.

Supposedly I have one more day of this 12 hour bullshit but I have been to Grandma’s house before and ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch.

More coffee is in order either way.

Of course life  goes on and doesn’t give a rusty fuck how many hours you have been working and there is always some other bullshit you gotta take care of, which I just got done doing.

Now I gotta throw something together for lunch and hit the road. My sandwich maker is currently unavailable so it’s time to revert to my old bachelor ways.

See ya when I see ya.

Kinda reminds me of this place I know about…..

Watch it  few times and you will see it lets go right before the hammer gets there the second time.

Love the dumb fucking kid  off to the side.

Dumbass would have been fucked before he could react if he was behind it.

Also note, not even a hint of personal protective gear anywhere besides the gloves  and why bother tying the cylinder down to anything?

Gotta love these people.